To let DD vape in her room with the window open?

[ByBoldLeader]

DD (16) vapes. I’ve tried over and over to stop her vaping but nothing works. Up until now I’ve said she can’t vape in the house at all but it’s got to the point where she is spending more and more time out of the house just so she can vape. She keeps asking why she can’t vape in her room with the window open (I suspect she’s already vaping in her room with the window open to be honest). I’m considering just letting her vape in her room (as long as she has the window open) at this point because I’m not going to manage to stop her vaping altogether (I’ve tried to stop her vaping altogether but nothing worked) and she’s spending so much time out of the house just because she wants to vape. Would I be unreasonable to let DD vape in her room with the window open? Does anyone else let their teens vape in their room?

I’m not sure that I’m comfortable with how much time DD is spending out of the house just for the sole reason that she wants to vape. That’s why I’m now considering just letting her vape in her room as long as she has the window open.

Like you said, she’s already doing it in her room.

I wouldn’t accommodate it personally. If she always has to go outside, maybe she’ll realise sooner it’s not worth the hassle and expense. If you let her vape out the window, you’re giving her an easy life and I don’t think it helps her in the long run.

I don’t know that for certain though (she also keeps asking me if she can vape in her room so that’s makes me think she might not be doing it at the moment possibly?) and have stopped her once before when I caught her vaping in her room. But now I don’t know if I should just tell her it’s ok to vape in her room now because she keeps asking me if she can and it’s not like I’m going to be able to stop her vaping all together anyway?

I wouldn't because I would be worried about the impact of the vape fumes on the air quality in the rest of the house (I'm asthmatic)

She’s been vaping for so long now and the no vaping in the house rule hasn’t encouraged her to quit vaping yet unfortunately. I’ve tried everything to get her to stop vaping but nothing at all has worked.

Does anyone else let their teens vape in their room? Would I be unreasonable to let DD do it?

The thing is if you apply this logic, then what isn't she allowed to do in her room with the window open?

As a teen smoker, it was such a relief when my mum relented and let me smoke in the garden. I was addicted by then and not ready to quit, and all it was doing was creating distance and we were losing closeness because I was never home. Her not letting me smoke in the garden was not making me more likely to quit it was just meaning I hardly ever saw my parents.

Of course I did quit in the end and am still very close to my mum and dad.

The thing is that if it’s ok for her to vape in her room she will likely be doing it constantly. As much as I hate smoking people don’t tend to have a drag as they are going to sleep or when they wake up middle of night, and so end up taking in a huge amount of nicotine and damaging their lungs.

You're in a difficult situation but I’d be saying a firm no. And explaining why it’s a bad idea.

Nope. If she wants to vape then she can do it elsewhere. I would also ensure that she isn't vaping in her room. Also, has does she afford to vape so much?

Do you have a garden she can vape in? If so let her vape there. If not I would consider letting her vape on the window in the evenings once they start getting dark. Not ideal but depending where you live it could be safer.

What approaches have you tried so far to help her stop op?

I'd say yes OP. Of course the best option is that she's realises how utterly awful and damaging it is and stops but if she's not currently at that point in her head it's definitely better she's safe at home than out with all sorts just to vape - who knows where that could lead?

She has a part time job, that’s how she’s funding it.

I don’t know what to do because I’m not comfortable with how much time she is spending out of the house just so she can vape so I don’t know if I should just let her vape in her room or not, I’m not sure what to do.

I wouldn’t support vaping at all.
Presumably she’s paying for them herself so I guess you can’t stop her buying them but if she wants to vape she goes outside.

She might be put off when it gets colder in the winter. I wouldn’t support it, especially as you say it will affect air quality indoors. Do you have other kids?

We have a garden yes but at the moment I’m not letting her vape in the garden either

This is what is on my mind I think, I’m just not comfortable with how much time she is spending out of the house for the sole reason that she wants to vape. That’s why I don’t know if I should just let her vape in her room or in the garden or not, I don’t know what to do for the best.

Literally everything. I’ve tried everything to try and get her to stop vaping but nothing at all has worked.

It stinks even with windows open.

She hasn't given up yet. But I wouldn't make it any easier for her to vape and allowing in her room is making it easier for her and showing you accept and condone it..
I wouldn't allow it just as I wouldn't allow smoking cigarettes or raking drugs in their room

It’s rare on here to see a parent actively wanting their teenager to sit in their bedroom and not be outside in the fresh air!!

As an ex-smoker and vaper, I think anything you can do to make it more uncomfortable for her to smoke is better. I used to go outside for a cigarette and it was miserable in the cold and wet, so I wouldn’t stay out as long as probably not smoke the whole cigarette.

When I vaped, I did it in the house, and it was a nightmare. I just constantly vaped. There’s no end to it like a cigarette, just puff away and becomes such an ingrained habit that I used to feel weird without it in my hand. If you start to allow it indoors my fear would be she does it more frequently and in turn becomes more addicted. It was so hard to give up, much worse than trying to give up smoking as I would have so much more nicotine in my bloodstream.

I would let her do it in the garden, but not the bedroom.

I'd probably let her do it in the garden but not in her room.

Why are you not comfortable with her being out of the house?

It’s a no from me. Simply because of how I feel about smoking and vaping. I don’t allow it in my home.
My adult son has suddenly taken up smoking. He has his own house but he wouldn’t ask to smoke here. Very disappointing as I protected that foetus, so annoying but that’s outside my control.

On hindsight, maybe if I’d smoked relentlessly throughout my pregnancy and his childhood he might be a non smoker lol.