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Original poster

To let DD vape in her room with the window open?

99 replies

ByBoldLeader · 02/09/2025 14:12

DD (16) vapes. I’ve tried over and over to stop her vaping but nothing works. Up until now I’ve said she can’t vape in the house at all but it’s got to the point where she is spending more and more time out of the house just so she can vape. She keeps asking why she can’t vape in her room with the window open (I suspect she’s already vaping in her room with the window open to be honest). I’m considering just letting her vape in her room (as long as she has the window open) at this point because I’m not going to manage to stop her vaping altogether (I’ve tried to stop her vaping altogether but nothing worked) and she’s spending so much time out of the house just because she wants to vape. Would I be unreasonable to let DD vape in her room with the window open? Does anyone else let their teens vape in their room?

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 02/09/2025 14:47

No. It leaves residue and a film and I'd be concerned about the aerosolization of nicotine and other things present. Outside only.

InMyShowgirlEra · 02/09/2025 14:48

She's a child. If you're not comfortable with her going out, tell her she can't go out.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 02/09/2025 14:48

I had a lodger who vaped in her room, in secret. Three years since she left and I STILL can’t get rid of the stink of it. I’ve washed all the furnishings and it still lingers.

OddBoots · 02/09/2025 14:49

Is there a younger sibling you are concerned about? Just wondering why you say no to the garden but thinking of saying yes to her room.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 02/09/2025 14:53

I used to smoke and when I was at home I would sneak out every now and then. But when I was in student accommodation living with a smoker I was able to smoke in my room and my consumption went through the roof. I always smoked less during Christmas or other holidays when I couldn't smoke in the house.

So no I wouldn't let her vape in her room. As a compromise maybe turn a blind eye to her popping out for a vape in the garden or outside the front door. That way she doesn't need to find somewhere else to hang out all the time. She is still very young, it's ok to set these rules.

MarigoldCherry · 02/09/2025 14:54

Where is she going/who is she with currently that you are worried about?

zaazaazoom · 02/09/2025 14:54

I was a smoker for years. The worst thing my parent did was let me start smoking in the house as an 18 year old.

It normalizes it. It will make her feel that you have accepted it. It makes it too easy to have more than you need. The smell is horrible and vaping smell is equally as horrible. The particulates that long problems remain in the air and furniture will be far more harmful than outside.

I still occasionally have a cigarette but hide it from everyone including my parents even though I'm 50. This stops me smoking much more.

We haven't had enough years of data on the effects of vaping but it will be of no surprise to anybody in the industry inside or outside of it that it's going to cause problems.

sittingonabeach · 02/09/2025 14:58

If you are going to relent why not let her vape in the garden?

Where does she go otherwise?

GoldDuster · 02/09/2025 14:58

MarigoldCherry · 02/09/2025 14:54

Where is she going/who is she with currently that you are worried about?

If you let her start vaping in her room her consumption will go through the roof, her health will suffer, and she will still go out. Don't get the two confused, vaping is one thing. Spending large amounts of time out of the house in ways you're not comfortable with for a 16 year old is another.

You need to get clear about what you're comfortable/not comfortable with her doing and why and be able to articulate it to her. Not try to trick her into staying in her bedroom vaping, 16 year olds are not daft, she's one step ahead of you.

Iloveeverycat · 02/09/2025 15:00

She has a part time job, that’s how she’s funding it.
You have to be 18 to buy how is she getting them.

Sassylovesbooks · 02/09/2025 15:02

You physically can't stop your daughter vaping, especially as she's working part-time and paying for it. However, vaping (or smoking) in the house, in any room, would be a massive No from me. I would suggest you allow your daughter to vape in the garden. It means she has to get off her backside and go outside to vape - it takes effort. Whereas if you just say yes to her vaping in her bedroom, there's no effort involved, it's made much easier for her. It also isn't as comfortable, she'll have to put shoes/coat on, to go out in the wind/rain/cold. It may mean she spends a shorter amount of time vaping, compared to if she was doing it in her bedroom. Ideally, you want her to realise that vaping isn't good for her health, but unfortunately she has to come to that conclusion herself.

Bollihobs · 02/09/2025 15:04

MemorableTrenchcoat · 02/09/2025 14:43

Why are you not comfortable with her being out of the house?

Show quote history

I would imagine it's who she is potentially spending time with that is the problem - vaping in a group that then switches up to weed then stronger stuff..... not good.

Rightandwrong · 02/09/2025 15:05

If she is determind to waste her own money, probably damage her health and go down the route of nicotine addiction then more fool her.
But why should everyone else in the household suffer for her stupidity?

Thistooshallpass. · 02/09/2025 15:06

She’s is still a child and living under your roof . Personally I would say no vaping in my house or garden - if she wants to vape she will have to go out into the street etc . See how much she wants to vape when it’s cold and rainy .
I know you can’t stop teenagers doing things - but you can take control of what you accept in your own house .

BrainlessBoiledFrog · 02/09/2025 15:09

Sadly vaping is extremely addictive! Unfortunately the hopes the NHS had that vaping would help people quit smoking massively backfired as more young people took up vaping than ever expected!
I would not let her do it in room just because she could literally spend hours vaping and you won’t have any idea. Let her use garden, try normalise that to her so you can monitor the usage a bit. She’ll have to want to quit but sadly the messaging around vaping has been so poor that people consider it safe - rather than safer than smoking (ie still not safe - just not as bad they think). I’d personally try the angle of vaping costs a lot of money she could spend on x,y,z and that it’s proven to cause lip wrinkles as likely those are sorts of things that she will care about at this young age. But yes find a balance of not letting her just vape yo hearts content in room but also not wandering streets

clarrylove · 02/09/2025 15:10

I'd find out which shop is selling to her and report them.

Original poster
ByBoldLeader · 02/09/2025 15:10

This is why I really don’t know what to do for the best

OP posts:
PurpleThistle7 · 02/09/2025 15:10

I don't let anyone smoke anything in my house so would be a hard no on this one. Appreciate you can't actually stop her (though I wouldn't be funding mobile phone, unnecessary fun clothes, socialising money, etc, etc, etc if she is working and choosing to spend her money this way) but having it inside your house will make the whole house problematic and will mean she is vaping constantly.

Am guessing that vaping or not, she's going to go out a lot - she's 16, this is inevitable. She's just giving this as an excuse.

If you really must relax on it, outside only. Inside is gross.

I smoked as a teenager and my parents obviously knew but there was no chance I'd smoke inside the house. They ignored me if I was being sneaky about it in the garden or on the street outside but mostly I just smoked when I was out with my friends. I stopped at 20.

herbalteabag · 02/09/2025 15:13

I wouldn't allow it, no one is allowed to smoke or vape in my house and that would include my children. They would have to go in the garden. Do you have a garden?
I just find vaping gross and sickly and would hate it in the house.

dotdotdotdash · 02/09/2025 15:14

Oh, I thought you were allowing her to vape in the garden… That would be better surely; and encourage her to leave the vape by the back door so it’s not always available.

InterestedDad37 · 02/09/2025 15:17

She has developed an addiction, by the sound of it. You can either accommodate it, or decide that you won't condone or encourage it, or make allowances for it. Personally I'd keep the ban.

Original poster
ByBoldLeader · 02/09/2025 15:17

dotdotdotdash · 02/09/2025 15:14

Oh, I thought you were allowing her to vape in the garden… That would be better surely; and encourage her to leave the vape by the back door so it’s not always available.

I don’t let her vape in the garden currently either.

But the no vaping in the house or garden rule is causing her to spend so much time out of the house so that’s why I really don’t know if I should just allow her to vape in the garden and her room or not. She keeps asking to vape in her room, I haven’t said yes yet but I’m not sure if I should just let her vape in her room or not.

OP posts:
OriginalUsername2 · 02/09/2025 15:19

Absolutely no way. You’ll make her addiction and health even worse because she can do it any second.

The weather is turning. She’ll find it much less appealing over winter.

namechangetheworld · 02/09/2025 15:20

No chance would I allow it. It would just be enabling her addiction.

Don't let her vape in the house or garden and see how keen she is to leave the house when it's freezing and pissing it down in a few months.

bumblebramble · 02/09/2025 15:21

I’d hold the line against vaping in the house. Opening a window just blows the fumes back in, not sure why anyone ever thinks it wouldn’t.

I’d let her vape in the garden. And maybe sit with her out there sometimes for a chat. I think the horse has bolted in regards to vaping so you may as well accept it. And if you lower your opposition you may well discover she needs help quitting. But as long as vaping is tied up with rebelling, she isn’t going to work that out.