To let DD vape in her room with the window open?

[ByBoldLeader]

DD (16) vapes. I’ve tried over and over to stop her vaping but nothing works. Up until now I’ve said she can’t vape in the house at all but it’s got to the point where she is spending more and more time out of the house just so she can vape. She keeps asking why she can’t vape in her room with the window open (I suspect she’s already vaping in her room with the window open to be honest). I’m considering just letting her vape in her room (as long as she has the window open) at this point because I’m not going to manage to stop her vaping altogether (I’ve tried to stop her vaping altogether but nothing worked) and she’s spending so much time out of the house just because she wants to vape. Would I be unreasonable to let DD vape in her room with the window open? Does anyone else let their teens vape in their room?

I’ve seen some really bad videos of young kids beating each other up on our local FB group page. They are all vaping. Anyone under 18 who is buying vapes aren’t being sold the real stuff, they are getting the under the counter illegal vapes that are filled with heavy metals. The contents of these vapes seems to make kids really aggressive. (Aside from poisoning them)

It might be a lot of hassle to stand up to your child but I think it’s in their best interest in the long term to try and explain why vaping isn’t a good idea and why these vape/ex-cigarette manufacturers and small shops are desperate to make money from addicted kids.

My DH has a device that checks air quality, he uses it for his job. He used to vape indoors and one day randomly tested the air quality in our home and the result was horrendous! Worse than his industrial warehouse at work. You'd be shocked at what vapes emit into the air that you can't see. He quit vaping indoors when I was pregnant because I didn't want to be breathing in air of that quality and the quality massively improved when he stopped. Also, in an effort to get him to quit completely (he was spending a fortune) I told him he wasn't to vape indoors anymore because of me and the baby and the vaping quickly lost its appeal when he was standing outside in storms, snow, freezing temps, rain during dark winter nights etc. It was a great motivator to drop the habit. I think had I let him vape indoors he'd still be vaping as it was easy for him

I wouldn’t allow it. If you must I’d let her in the garden so she’s still outside but not having to go out wandering the streets

I'd compromise and say yes to the garden, but still no to house. Ex smoker here too and I've made myself stop vaping in the house as I was just doing it constantly. Now weaning myself down to 5mg and soon no nicotine vape juice. Having to step out in all weathers does make it easier to say 'I can't be bothered.'

If it were me I'd ban fun flavours of vapes. Tobacco / plain flavours only. They are useful as a stop smoking tool, and better than cigarettes. It's a shame that a whole new generation is on the nicotine bandwagon!

If you're going to relent, surely the garden is the compromise?

It's still mildly inconvenient, fairly boring and it will be cold and wet too soon.

No way would my child be sucking away watching telly in the warm.

Like you say, chances are she's already doing it in her room, so at 16, I would let her, but ask her to keep the door closed and do it by the open window (especially if no-one else in the house vapes).
You can say stuff like you wish she didn't vape etc, but she's 16, likely addicted and it might mean you see a bit more of her?!

You haven’t said why you are not happy with her spending time out of the house?

I wouldn’t tolerate vaping in my house. I’m not sure if you have said your house is smoke/vape free though? None of us do so I would be making it harder, not easier, for her to do it. The spending time out of the house is normal, healthy even, for teens so unless there is a huge drip feed I can’t see the problem there. Ultimately if she is allowed to vape in the house she will certainly be doing more of it.

Why don't you compromise and say she can go in the shed. Of the many times ive started smoking again, id allow myself to do it in the shed so its less appealing at night with all the spiders 🤣

I’d be far more unhappy about the vaping than the going out. At least she is getting exercise and doing more than sitting in a room vegging out endlessly vaping.

My DD went through a phase of vaping. I just turned a blind eye to it when I knew she was vaping in her room. She eventually stopped but I think she still does it occasionally when at parties etc. I decided that vaping wasn’t a hill I was going to die on.

She's likely already doing it op.

I vape everywhere.

Not in the house. Make her vape in the garden in all weathers and leave the vape by the back door. Consequences if you catch her doing it in the house. Pre-filled vapes like Lost Mary have really high nicotine and if she has no boundaries around it she will be doing it 24/7

I really don’t know what to do about letting her vape in the house not. I’m not sure what’s best to do.

As someone who smoked at that age there is nothing my parents could have done to make me stop.

I think you are better taking the pragmatic approach and letting her do it rather than have her sneaking around.

No, because she needs to learn it's not ok for her vaping to impact the air everyone else has to breathe.

The weather is about to turn to shit, she won’t want to spend that long outside in bad weather so stand firm.

I've not got teens but if it were me, I'd be making it very difficult for them to vape. It's horrible and very addictive not to mention the unknown health risks.
I certainly wouldn't be enabling it.

She probably already is and you just haven’t noticed it.

YABU because IMO vapes are as bad as cigarettes. They've got nicotine in them and are addictive. The only thing they've got going for them is that they're not as obnoxious smelling as proper tobacco.

No make it as difficult as possible. She will probably already be showing signs of lung damage - popcorn lungs. If you allow it, you bet that one day, when she has severe COPD, she will look to blame you. Vaping is going to cost the NHS a fortune as they get older, make it very clear that she is ruining her future and you want no part of it.

This.

Where is she getting the money for this?

She has a part time job.

You haven't said how she is getting them when she is not 18.

Because I don’t know how she is getting them.