SIL still isolating due to covid risk

[dragontears]

AIBU to think this is no way to live now? She works from home and will only leave the house for essential errands with mask on. She is terrified of getting long covid. Feels like her life is very very limited for a 38 year old!

Anyone else have people they know in this position? How to support them?

I agree with this. I've read that book, it's great 👍 I was adopted as a baby and my birth parents were drug addicts, and my birth mum was abused by her father. They lived in the East End of London, and had connections with the Kray brothers... I think it's all very much inherited somehow and genetically I do feel that the very "essence" of me (my DNA etc) may have been influenced by the family links and history.

I agree about it having an impact on susceptibility to illness too. My poor late birth mum had various cancers and she was quite unwell most of her life.

Yes chronic stress suppresses the immune system and raises the risk of lots of chronic illnesses like high blood pressure, heart disease, and autoimmune disorders, and various others, probably including LC and ME. The illnesses aren't psychosomatic, the stress hormone cortisol causes physical damage to the body over time which increases the risk. Also Long covid can cause psychiatric symptoms itself, as well as all the physical ones, because the virus can cause inflammation in the brain. But that doesn't make it a mental illness, any more than Parkinson's (which can also cause psychiatric symptoms) is.

No I’m not.

Sounds like there are more people like this than I realised!

Sorry I worded the previous post badly. She is up to date with boosters etc.

@dragontears I think you should just leave her be, she's an adult and she can decide for herself about her own health, there's lots of covid around atm and it's for her to decide what precautions she wants to take. You sound a bit controlling.

I have read it, and agree many people i meet have suffered some form of trauma or other events that have set up an overdeveloped fight/flight/freeze response….however I’m talking about the avoidant behaviour that people can end up doing when you have developed CFS or long covid, I know from personal experience of CFS it can make you very avoidant, it’s a common fear in those fellow sufferers I meet - how much more so when you have gone through a worldwide epidemic when you have had people in authority telling you how dangerous it is to participate in normal life activities (and when you still have people telling others how dangerous it is to catch covid ,even though many of us have now had vaccines and had covid)

But if you have been disabled by a covid infection is is completely logical to want to avoid further covid infections, as they can worsen the illness or cause relapses in people who's heath has improved.

Absolutely doesn't need counselling. Seems she's far more informed about the risks of covid than most. It's vascular - causing damage to organs, brain blood clots, diabetes and triggering cancers not yo mention long covid Why do you think sickness levels are increasing so much. Its also very easy to protect yourself FFP3 masks in crowded areas, HEPA filtration, ventilation. Trouble is people are so aggressive towards those who mask, many just don't bother to venture out.

But this SIL is disabled by what sounds like a serious mental health condition. Not covid or long covid.
Imagine if she snaps out of this weird fugue in a decade or so. She may actually be angry that relatives around her didn't intervene and her best years are gone.

Of course she needs counselling.

The government did an absolute number on people with poor mental health and anxiety. It’s completely irrational to still be fearful of Covid in this way, it’s clearly ruining her life.

She does need counseling because she is wasting some of the best years of her life rotting away indoors and living in fear. Covid is a part of life now, the risk is still small of actually being severely effected and weighed up against the downsides of living a life of isolation, its absolutely not worth it. I think you have to be pretty delusional at this stage to look around you and think that all those people living normally are suffering from "damage to organs, brain blood clots, diabetes and triggering cancers not to mention long covid". Those things have always happened to people, its just not true that covid is causing mass disabilty and death.

I take zero precautions, didnt even get vaccinated and have only had covid once, and still fine. This is the case for the vast, vast majority of people. Get a grip

How does Covid-19 affect your heart? - BHF https://share.google/tRKOyWrxio8LScLOy
Ongoing brain injury caused by COVID-19 may not always be detected by routine tests | King's College London https://share.google/l6MsmZouIdPdewHG2
Long-term effects of COVID-19 (long COVID) - NHS https://share.google/j0nxo0DVN3IpFYUgv
Linking COVID-19 and cancer: Underlying mechanism - ScienceDirect https://share.google/gNQYcvfP9hGovTvSz

Except it is true. But as with many smokers you'll just deny it will happen to you.

This is why people tend to avoid those who still wear masks. Being preached at and told you're stupid and wrong is beyond tedious. Im embarrassed for you tbh 😄

You can waste your life if you want, and feel superior while doing so. Just leave the rest of us alone. If you're right we'll all be dead or disabled soon anyway and you can gloat lol

Wish you would avoid but sadly you seem to think its your right to attack and belittle.

This whole thread was started because the OP was annoyed at the sister in law minding her own business and avoiding covid, and various others chimed in to say that she was mentally ill and needed psychiatric intervention etc. People were just explaining why that isn't the case. I only wish people like yourself did avoid those of us who still wear a mask, it would be a delight, unfortunately all we get is endless tantrums and demands that we stop masking.

It is a huge cost to the British Economy.

https://www.camecon.com/hubfs/145725293/The-Economic-Burden-of-Long-Covid-in-the-UK_Cambridge-Econometrics_V1.1_March2024.pdf

Being preached at and told you're stupid and wrong is beyond tedious. Im embarrassed for you tbh 😄

You’re the one who has literally just been preaching at people who still take precautions and telling them they’re stupid and wrong, saying they need counselling, they’re delusional, and to ‘get a grip’.

You’re right, it was beyond tedious.

I am not asking her to stop masking. I am concerned that her staying at home and not seeing family/friends, except for occasional socially-distanced walks, is not a healthy way to live.

But she isn’t even doing that, nor is she just minding her own business. She’s effectively opted out of life. If she was going about wearing a mask no one would give a shit probably. I see some people in masks every day. I just don’t believe you about constant demands and tantrums to stop masking. I just assume people are still a bit paranoid but I basically couldn’t care less. Living the life of a hermit in her 30s to avoid an illness which could have nasty effects but is far more likely to be just a cold is not simply
taking normal precautions but indicative of being quite mentally unwell

lol of course you think ‘successful small business owners’ are where it’s at. This is one of the funnier posts I have read on mumsnet.

I don't care if people wear masks, I just don't need to bombarded with a pre prepared list of studies trying to prove their point.

People who are isolating from friends and family and not leaving their house after nearly 6 years DO need counseling. Its not just about wearing a mask.

Thank you to everyone for your input and suggestions.

I will consider how I can delicately approach this with conflict-avoidant DB. I am very aware of not overstepping, as ultimately it is up to them, but having seen other loved ones struggle with different mental health issues, I am also aware that sometimes the person suffering with the MH illness may not be able to instigate change, precisely because of the nature of the illness.

Well you may not harass people for wearing a mask but plenty of people do, it's true whether it not you believe it.

OP if you want to support her than talk to her. But not to try and convince her otherwise regarding covid. You can still talk on the phone, video calls, even offer to visit/meet outdoors masked FFP3 and/or test. If that is a step too far for you than you need to ask yourself how much do you want to genuinely want to 'support' her - or just get her to behave the way you do about covid. You could even do some reading up on covid - it seems many people think they know covid is 'just a cold' but have never read any of the peer reviewed studies or medical research (and there are a lot!!). On a positive note, there are a number of countries in late stage trials of some very successful neutralising nasal sprays that will stop covid in its tracks - Germany, France, Canada and US to name a few. So there is a solution on the way.