To be obsessing about third baby at 41?

[MsPossibly]

Is it hormones? I can't think about anything else. DD is 8 DS is nearly 6 so there'd be a massive age gap.

Financially we could do it. House-wise and marriage could do it. I always thought I wanted 3 but for whatever reason haven't TTC in the last 5 years. Now it feels like I might regret it all my life. Do I just need to let these feelings pass and get back to enjoying my lovely kids at lovely ages, or do I give in to the madness?!

It’s your hormones.

Do not give in to the madness!!

What if the regret haunts me forever???

Risks go up with age. Personally if your family is perfect as it is idk why you would change it.

What if the baby has issues given your age ?

More the merrier? More noise, more fun. A team.

It won’t haunt you forever. I read a post once about a woman who had really regretted having a third after really wanting it for so long. She said she had had a third because she felt her older 2 (similar age to yours) didn’t need her as much anymore. But she found having the third took her away from them so much she realised they did really need her still. She said she was on holiday with them all and the baby just ruined everything. I wouldn’t go for it at your age sorry.

I’d rather regret not having a third when I have two than regret having a child. No way would I actively choose to have a toddler in my 40s! It would really change the family dynamic, trying to find a family activity for a 3 year old and a pre teen, you’d basically continually have to split your time. Tantrums and SATs- god no! Teaching one to read and one to sit GCSEs, nope.

It’s your hormones. And if you have number 3 it’ll happen again with number 4. You have to stop sometime.

I know someone whose life has been turned around by a profoundly disabled child. She is unable to work. She has little time for her other kids. It must be incredibly hard. Sometimes it’s best to stop and be grateful for what you have.

If I don't, I need to get over the profound anger with myself for not doing it 3 years ago. I feel the regret like a physical pain at the moment. Will that go?

Just NOOOO!! Your perimenopause hormones will kick in , in about 4 years and you'll be sick of all the "caring" and want to run away. You'll be wondering why the hell you had any kids!

Bucking the trend I felt like this and went for the third and everything does now feel exactly as it was supposed to be. BUT I am early thirties. For now I do not crave a fourth, in fact I’m overjoyed at the idea of not being pregnant again!! It’s not a rational want, but it’s a lovely dynamic as five.

Would you cope if baby Number 3 turned out yo be 3 and 4 ?

I started my family later in life. Had my 2nd at 38 and we would love a 3rd. Now my 2nd ia 1 years old we started TTC this month. We are prepared ro try for a few years so maybe 41 / 42 wall call it quits. I know 1 more will complete my family if I was younger I would love a 4th baby to. But with age I will be very content and it peace with 3 of it is meant to be.
Don't ask strangers on the internet who have their own agendas.

Oh god, that's me now!!!
I live my kids dearly (3 of them) but have zero patience these days at almost 43!

and given the age of the man. it's not all about the woman. maternal age isn't a factor all on its own. it's more to do with the sperm quality.

I think having made two people exist through the near future is quite enough

Don't do it. You might hsve a disabled child which would turn your life upside down. Life with a disabled children is often incredibly difficult and might bring far greater regrets further down the line.

MN is very anti-third child I find, especially with older mothers. It sounds to me that you really want it and could manage it, so go for it.

I don’t see a single decent reason why you wouldn’t, from what you’ve said.

Also, risk of disability not actually very high at your age if you look at studies - yes much higher than when younger, but still quite small overall.

Just bloody do it if you really want to and can afford it 💪

Yes it's all about what YOU want...

Me personally? It doesn't bother me either way!!!!

I really wouldn’t. It won’t haunt you forever. Your kids are getting older and have a close age gap so as they age, the things you enjoy doing as a family will change. Bring another baby with a big age gap in, and that will massively change the dynamic. Also as others have mentioned, risks of disabilities etc rise with maternal age. You have 2 healthy kids, I personally think you’d be mad to roll that dice again. Just enjoy your two kids. It’s hormones and natural to just want one final shot but i’d just stick at the two you have and enjoy them.

What do the rest of the team think about the idea?

You gave op advice to do what SHE wants

Never mind the fucking hassle for anyone else

Making people exist is a selfish bastard of a thing to do. All dressed up in twee bullshit and jelly cat dolls and"nobody tells you how HARD IT ISSSS"

Everyone needs to stop breeding uncontrollably because it tickles their ego