Day out friends..they left to go to diff restaurant on their own

[TFICoffeetime]

Met up with close friends yesterday. We live opposite sides country. We picked scenic village, countryside & meal at a nice country inn.
We were 40 mins late (it's 2.5 hrs for us) 1 hour drive for us & got caught in traffic then stopped once to let DD go to the toilet & stretched dogs legs so she'd wee. All communicated with friends. We arrived, had lovely stroll, river swim and meal at nice country inn with great views. They had booked the meal...we thought lovely place. But when we got there they said they had to leave at 5.30 to go to another restaurant (just them and child). They are starters and went. They said they hadn't realised this place was a fave restaurant & was close to their home. (So why go today). So we were left. It felt v awkward & like punishment for being late maybe. It had been lovely day and ended on weird vibes.
We finished our meal on own then went to another beautiful inn for pudding. After this I feel perplexed. AIBU to think their actions rude & far ruder than been late. We weren't intentionally late & just how it goes with traffic & teenagers.
I don't understand why we couldn't enjoy the meal together as planned. They booked it on the day (it felt like because we were late). We avoided confrontation but left sour note. Our children were perplexed. Just odd & awkward. This friend doesn't like confrontation even if it's "we were a bit sad you changed to go elsewhere" so she wouldn't discuss if I did. But I'm left feeling am I wrong. I just can't see myself having issues if they had longer to drive and was late & I would not change plans on a meal that was meant to be spent together. Xxx

I get the feeling that they had had a row at some point and wanted to leave as they were having to put on a happy face but needed to sort it out.

Am I allowed a DS & DD & am I allowed typos
If not clear ask. I've already clarified but it seems people like to make own conclusions rather than clarification.
And even my ethnicity what does that or my children's have to do with anything

I agree.
You were rude to be so late but my word your “friends” win the Rudest prize.

Lateness happens, rude but sounds like you handled it as best you could. Your friends behaviour though is totally unacceptable- if pissed off, they should have spoken to you about it. Not been even more rude, not just to you but the restaurant/pub. I would definitely raise it even if they don't respond.

Sally I've been thinking about this and just wanted to say we were very taken aback and disappointed bu your decision to leave dinner early and go elsewhere. The only thing we can think of is that you were angry we were late but didn't say. Is this what happened? I'd welcome an explanation as I thought we were better friends than this.

Why don’t you just ask your so-called “close friend”? It’s very obvious that to leave mid-way through a meal to declare you’re going to another restaurant appears weird and also rude but how on earth can any of us try to explain why they did it.

I get that you were taken by surprise yesterday but you’ve actually messaged since and not mentioned it! That to me is weird. Are you just never going to mention it and carry on as if nothing untoward happened?

That’s not what I call a friendship.

But I thought you said in your second post that it was your son who had travel sickness?

This is all so confusing and inconsistent

Hmm @Angrymum22may have hit the nail on the head, they had a better offer come in late in the day and decided they'd go there instead! Maybe as close to home they could both drink there etc rather than driving an hour home.

That's so strange of them.
A 40 minute delay in a 2.5 hour journey is unfortunate but sometimes can't be helped.
Did they just order a starter and that was the first you knew about them not staying for the meal?
It does seem that it could have been a "well OP was 40 mins late so we'll leave 40 mins early".
Or maybe while they were waiting for you, someone suggested dinner plans and they decided they preferred those to eating with you.
Unless you are habitually late to meet them and don't value their time, then they are the strange ones.

If you are meeting them again, maybe plan in extra time for your journey and make sure that the place you are meeting in is somewhere you want to be regardless of their company.

I thought I understood but this dessert thing has thrown me. Was it just OP’s family that went for dessert? Also, do you think your dog put them off?

I haven’t asked about your ethnicity.

And the minute it became clear we were all confused about how many children there actually were and of which sex - I asked.

It’s purely down to how you are writing your posts that people are seeking clarification that’s all.

They could have said, we'd like to catch up with
Why just leave

Their behaviour does seem a little odd but I’m not clear on the dynamics as I can’t get a feel for what went on.

This^

You need to ask your friend what's going on!

They were incredibly rude and weird to do that. It really doesn't make sense. I mean it's possible they were upset about the lateness but it seems unlikely as I think you'd have detected the vibe earlier in the day, plus presumably they didn't leave their own house at the planned time as your first message warning of your lateness would have got to them before they had to leave?

Or, something else is going on like an argument or financial problems or something come up they agreed to nearer home.

So you were 40 minutes late to meet to wander around the town and have ice cream. Having driven 2.5 hours to meet them. They were together as a family so wandered around together while waiting for you.

Once you arrived you all swam, and wandered a little, and had all planned and booked an early evening dinner together. They sat down for starters at the dinner and then suddenly announced that at some point while with you they had decided to not eat dinner with you but eat somewhere else, and they buggered off. Leaving you to eat as a family and make your long way home again.

Yes, they were really odd, and rude.

Because they’d had an argument most likely. You said there was hostility between them about the bill.

Yes, it's weird. If the meal was supposed to be an early evening meal and they only had a starter and went to another restaurant, that's not normal. 40 mins late is slightly annoying, but not the end of the world. I wouldn't have let it spoil my day with friends.
It is a bit annoying that you stopped en route for only a 2.5 hour journey though, I would not have done that unless there was time to spare.

Through the week there was a post from a woman who said she found it highly entertaining to watch people cry when they missed their train, because she ‘knew’ it was down to their poor planning and not leaving on time, or not leaving sufficient times between connections.

she was (quite rightly I believe) absolutely lambasted for this, with people telling her that anything can happen on people’s journeys to delay them, including traffic accidents or delays or family members being ill, and what a nasty person she was to take pleasure in other’s misfortunes.

Here we have OP who is travelling 2.5 hours to meet friends who are travelling 1 hour, her child was sick and the other needed the loo, and she was diverted unexpectedly from the motorway to a more minor road. She kept her friends up to date and apologised. She has never been late for them previously.

I don’t think she deserves the stick she is getting for being late, and it certainly doesn’t justify the rudeness subsequently displayed by her friends.

OP unless something was said at the restaurant which seriously offended them, their rudeness is on another level.

This thread is incredible and it’s amazing how batshit people can get. OP was late for reasons beyond their control. They informed friends who appeared to be OK with it. Dinner was booked for the end of the day by the friends who just had starters and then left.

if they were pissed off about OP being late, this was not a proportional or rational reaction.

if you are going out for dinner with one set of friends at restaurant A, why would you make a reservation at restaurant B?

Anyone who things there is a rarional explanation for this lives in a different world to me.

As pp said the days events seem pretty clear to me.

It is odd behaviour, maybe they had a row so wanted to leave, maybe they had eaten too much.

That’s weird. Nobody leaves after starters unless there’s been an argument of some sort.

Yes! As the other couple had left the original place after starters.

Sounds like you had a nice time, a walk, swim and a meal. Then it came to an end. Did you expect it to continue into the evening? They probably just wanted to see you for the afternoon.

@TFICoffeetimeask them directly why they left . That’s the only way you will get an answer.

It may be a complete different reason, including a change in their financial circumstances and they simply went home to save face …..

I can’t believe how many posters think leaving a meal after the starters have been served is an acceptable and mature reaction to a friend being late. It’s just spiteful and passive aggressive, why wait all day to try to punish/discipline your friend.

It was a pre booked meal that the other couple had booked in advance, which would suggest they did want to have a meal?