To ask for positive stories of mixed sex siblings

[Mushroo]

Firstly, I know I’m being massively unreasonable.

When I had my first LO, I actually had a slight preference for the other sex, but once they arrived they are everything I wanted and more. They are just my world and everything people say about the positives for the other sex, they have! They are just the best.

Im pregnant with number 2 and really really wanted two the same, because I know so many brother / sister sets who are so close and it’s lovely.

We just found out we’ll be having one of each and I’m really upset.

Im surprised by my reaction and I know I’m being massively unreasonable, but whilst I get my head around it and adjust, please can you regale me with why one of each is amazing?

I had one of each, they always got on brilliantly and still do. DP has three of the same gender and as adults only two get on.

Sex doesn’t mean they will get on.
My sister’s 2 DS really don’t get on. They love each other but dislike each other and they have nothing in common. The eldest has been saying for years he’d rather have had a dsis.
My SIL has 2 DD who actively hate each other and they are 18 & 20. They have never been friends!
My friend has 2 DD & 1DS and the 2 DD don’t get on either but the eldest DD and the DS do.
You can’t predict any sibling relationships. It’s about their personality and what they end up having in common.

My eldest are boy then girl and 18 months apart - they were really close as little children, until DC2 became more orientated around friends and DS1 noticed he also had a little brother who was a potential playmate not just "the baby" and he and DS2 became inseparable.

Now they're young adults and teenagers they all get on well and share private jokes - the boys are closer but DD has her own very busy social and work life and a long term partner, and her own place whilst the boys are that little bit younger and together more due to still living at home.

I have a sister who's guts I hated until I was in my 40s, when I realised the problem was how our parents set us up (unintentionally) rather than her as a person. I don't think two the same sex is necessarily a guarantee of closeness.

I get it OP and don’t think it’s bizarre or that you need help or anything like that. I felt like this quite strongly when I was pregnant with my second (and the same as you - had a boy first and wanted another boy). In my case that’s what I got but I’m sure I would have loved to have a girl if that had been the case.

I do love having two the same sex but it does seem to me just from observing other families that it’s slightly easier to avoid rivalry and competition with opposite sex siblings. Obviously it still comes down to parenting, but ‘warring brothers’ is a cliche older than human history for a reason - from Cain and Abel to William and Harry!

I have two boys and they are at each other constantly. Would love to know when this special close bond appears please

I’ve only got 1 sibling, a brother , we didn’t really get on until I moved out of home , but now both in our 40s we text at least a couple of times a week , and see each other weekly . We share the same humour and genuinely enjoy his company , although we fought like cat and dog before then he’s always have my back and vice versa.
I dont think gender plays a part whether or not siblings get on , just the luck of the draw, having said that I think sibling rivalry is less between opposite genders in my experience/ opinion .

I have an older DD and a younger DS. 2 years between them. They’re thick as thieves and have the best time together and will play together for hours. They’re still primary age so I imagine it’ll change as they grow, but I hope the foundation they have will mean there will always be a closeness there for them.