To ask for positive stories of mixed sex siblings

[Mushroo]

Firstly, I know I’m being massively unreasonable.

When I had my first LO, I actually had a slight preference for the other sex, but once they arrived they are everything I wanted and more. They are just my world and everything people say about the positives for the other sex, they have! They are just the best.

Im pregnant with number 2 and really really wanted two the same, because I know so many brother / sister sets who are so close and it’s lovely.

We just found out we’ll be having one of each and I’m really upset.

Im surprised by my reaction and I know I’m being massively unreasonable, but whilst I get my head around it and adjust, please can you regale me with why one of each is amazing?

I have one if each, they are less than 2 years apart. They adore each other - more like twins than siblings, I often find them asleep together because one will got into the other's room in the night. Their relationship is lovely, and I think having one if each is very special.

I’m one of 4: bbgg.
My sister is the sibling i get on with least well. We’ve never been close. I adore my brothers though.
I have a DS and a DD 3 years apart. They get on very well.

I got on amazingly well with my db growing up, we had a few spats in our teen years but nothing much and had an amazing relationship as kids.
We've grown apart a bit as adults just because of distance but we still chat and meet up.

I have 2 dds who can't be allowed in the bathroom at the same time to brush their teeth ...

My ds and DD are really close. We really fostered this over the years and it's worked beautifully. They really are a team and I love how they interact. They're late teens now and there's less than 2 years between them.

There was a period when one was at secondary and the other at primary where they didn't seem to have much in common but that soon changed.

Kindly, OP, get a grip. The world is full of people who grew up with mixed sex siblings. This is not an issue.

Enjoy your pregnancy.

We have one of each and for the most part they are thick as thieves. They're pretty young still so no guarantees what they'll be like this as teens or adults but we'll do our best to try and forge that bond, but if they're so different in character it might not be possibly. They have similar temperaments but different interests at this point so who knows how that will change and how they will evolve as they grow. I'm in no rush to find out, just enjoying them for who they are right now. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I have girl/boy/boy and they all have lovely relationships with each other. The boys are definitely more into wrestling each other but they all love each other and play well. They love to do crafts together and play at the park/skate ramps etc. They really look out for each other. My daughter just got a music player with a clear case and the first thing she did was put a photo of her brothers in it.
I was one of 4 girls and went to a girls school, and boys always seemed so other and not to be trusted. I think having a mix is so good for kids, my boys are always astounded when they hear of any type of misogyny and know already to shut it down. As someone said above - they won't know any different so why wouldn't they still be best friends? It's much more down to personality than sex.

You wanted the opposite sex when you had the first one and now you got the sex you wanted, you dont want it and are upset.

There's just no pleasing you. This is all a fantasy about what makes a perfect family. Just so you know i have sister, i have had to cut off because she's been so abusive to me all my life and ive had enough.

Stop fantasising about what makes a perfect family and accept what youve got. Maybe your kids will be close. Maybe they'll hate each other but the sex wont make a difference to that.

This is why I dont think anyone should find out the sex before birth.

I had boy, girl, boy They're all adults now.

The two boys played football together. The two youngest did drama together. The two oldest did things together before the youngest could join them.

All close now, and with a rounded view of the opposite sex

Pretty weird to believe gender is the glue that's going to hold their sibling relationship together, I reckon

How odd to be upset!

For the record, DD’s 2 eldest were girl, boy, only 15 months apart, and always got on very well, very affectionate and playing together from a very early age. It was lovely to see.

I only have my baby brother - nearly a decade younger than me, total dickhead. Would walk through fire just to get him a Kit Kat. I’m actually having our first kid just six months after his and we’re planning holidays and all sorts together. I love him.

DH only has a sister, they talk most days. She has three DC under 10, we see them as much as we can and go on holiday together at least twice a year.

We all worry about our kids but honest to god, you’ll have no idea how they’ll gel until they’re actually growing up together.

Anecdotally, obviously but I've found that it's dd then ds, they seem to get on pretty well.

Mine don't argue, but they don't really interact with one another, although dd has tried all her life. Ds is a bit of a loner, so i don't think it would have mattered what sex the other dc was. They're just very different people. It makes me sad, but I can't see them having any relationship when they leave home. They never seek one another out. They never have a conversation that isn't instigated by me at the table.

Mine are in their 30's now, boy then girl, 19 months apart. They were always very close and happily played together for hours. DS is more laid back and DD is more organised/bossy but they've always been incredibly tolerant and supportive of each other. DS was protective of DD and DD organised DS when she felt he needed it. They still get on well with each other, with each other's partners and with their individual friend groups.

As children we also had no issues when one of them had a playdate. They either all played well together or the non-playdate child got bored and went off to do their own thing. If both had playdates it was similarly mixed play behaviour. There was never any friction, mostly just a gaggle of happily playing, or (if outdoors) shouting, running children. The boys were noisier but the girls did more high pitched squeals when they got over-excited, so both could be equally irritating, lol. I think that being opposite sex meant that there was no competitiveness, which you often see with same-sex siblings, but for whatever reason, it worked really well.

I am part of a mixed sex sibling set and we’re very close and protective of each other. Ditto for our DC.

I also know many same sex siblings who don’t get on.

I also know it’s not the same for all siblings

I’ve got 2 DS’s and 1DD,all grown up now. They’re all really close, DD and DS2 have bought a place together and they get on well with DS1 and his partner. All coming round for Sunday lunch today and there’ll be lots of laughter and conversation.
Yes they fought sometimes as kids, as did me and my sister.

What the fuck is wrong with people? All that matters is a healthy child.
I have one of each and they are absolutely fab and lovely with each other.

Mine (different sexes) are thick as thieves. They are now adults. Still the same

If you are aware you are being unreasonable then what is the point of opening the thread in the AIBU? You are polluting the forum.

Hopefully you will do better next time, lovely.

Ooooh no. It’s not “how siblings are raised!” I have four children and my oldest and youngest are extremely close, whereas the two older ones fight like cat and dog. The third gets on well with all of the others. They’ve all been raised the same, but combinations of personalities and age gaps make the difference here.

Different sexes also equals fierce competitiveness, whoever upthread said it doesn’t. Ask my older two, and my partner and his closest (in age) sibling!

My DS and DD get on really well and always have done to be fair. They wouldn’t be each others first choice if they had their mates round - but even now at 21 and 19 they went out together last week together to watch a film they both wanted to see.

They have each other’s backs when its tough - they have a bit of an arrangement each month - he lends her money when she is skint - as she is useless with money 😬 and she drives him to his mates/ pub as he doesn’t drive 😀. It works for them!!

There was a post like this recently.

Mixed sex siblings is so normal, most of my friends are part of mixed sex sibling groups.

My DCs all get along and are great friends. They played together for hours when then were younger.

I’ve got one DB. Has always been my best friend, we have always got on really well.

I get this OP. I was very similar, didn’t really have any particular preference for either sex but would really have liked two the same. Given my first was a girl with our second I wanted another girl, had my first been a boy I would have wanted another boy. I think this comes from my own very very difficult relationship with my own brother and like you I know lots of same sex siblings who are very close.

however, of course my second was a boy and I have one of each. Just like how your gender preferences evaporated as soon as your first child was both so it will again with your second!

I can’t imagine my family looking any different to how it does now. Our son completely completes our family. The relationship with his sister is just beautiful to watch, yes they fight (constantly) but also love each other so much. Who knows what will happen as they grow but we never know what the future holds. Put for now I’m so lucky to have the children I have.

Ds 22 and dd 18 very very close. If one has a problem they go straight to the other for support . Stayed that way while ds was at uni, don't think it will change now he's home and dd goes next month. Don't worry it's the personality's that make them close!