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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask for positive stories of mixed sex siblings

107 replies

Mushroo · 31/08/2025 07:33

Firstly, I know I’m being massively unreasonable.

When I had my first LO, I actually had a slight preference for the other sex, but once they arrived they are everything I wanted and more. They are just my world and everything people say about the positives for the other sex, they have! They are just the best.

Im pregnant with number 2 and really really wanted two the same, because I know so many brother / sister sets who are so close and it’s lovely.

We just found out we’ll be having one of each and I’m really upset.

Im surprised by my reaction and I know I’m being massively unreasonable, but whilst I get my head around it and adjust, please can you regale me with why one of each is amazing?

OP posts:
ResusciAnnie · 31/08/2025 08:10

It’s the first time the kids have ever been alive or had siblings so it’s totally fresh and anyone else’s experience will have no bearing on how their relationship goes. Unless you influence it like that. Other people’s experiences are a red herring/irrelevant, if you will. Theyre a brand new sibling set and have the potential to go down any route.

I’m not close to my sister at all. But I have 2 boys and a girl who all get on swimmingly.

MidnightPatrol · 31/08/2025 08:13

Allswellthatendswelll · 31/08/2025 08:07

Is it a boy you are expecting? I find it bizarre there is now a real prejudice against boys!

Most of my friends with sisters have much more tension with their sisters than brothers. Opposite sex is often an easier relationship.

I have one of each and part of me is sad they won't get a same gender sibling but that is life. There are pros and cons to all combinations.

I agree to be curious about the reversal of desire of boys and girls…!

I am interested in the reasoning!

gannett · 31/08/2025 08:14

It's really strange (and a little basic) to think that your child's sex will be the most interesting, important and defining aspect of who they are.

Their personalities and interests are far more likely to determine how close they are.

FiveBarGate · 31/08/2025 08:16

Boy and girl here. Four year age gap.

They get on brilliantly. It may not last forever but at 12 and 8 it's still good.

The downside is they gang up on me. If I tell off either one for something they've done to the other then they'll go and hug each other and I'm the bad guy!

There's no telling and no guarantees whatever you have and whatever the age gap. I've known boys close in ages fight continuously and others be best pals. Or the same combination of kids switch between the two depending on their ages.

towhoknowswhere · 31/08/2025 08:17

In the nicest way possible I think you need some support with how you’re feeling op. It’s not right!

I’m 7 years older than my db and we are the best of friends. My dh has a brother less than 2 years younger and they barely speak!
There’s a lot of nonsense out there about age gaps, same sex siblings etc but it fundamentally boils down to a mixture of upbringing & luck if you get on with your sibling!

Abthdust · 31/08/2025 08:19

This is a weird take. I have a DS and two DDs. My DDs get along beautifully; one of my DDs gets on really well with DS, and the other does not. It has fuck all to do with their sex, and everything to do with their personalities.

nam3c4ang3 · 31/08/2025 08:19

I have one of each - 2 years apart - they hate each other now but hoping it’ll change soon 😂 - I wanted of each tho.

TaborlinTheGreat · 31/08/2025 08:20

I have one of each, 2.5 years apart. They are late teen and just turned 20 and they've always got on great. Also I'm a teacher and I know loads of kids who say they don't get on at all well with their same-sex siblings!

SemperIdem · 31/08/2025 08:21

I’m not a parent of mixed sex siblings, but I do have one.

Despite being mixed sex and having an almost 8 year age gap, my brother is probably my best friend.

CoodleMoodle · 31/08/2025 08:23

I have one of each, 4yrs apart.

One minute they detest one another, the next they're best friends. They argue and get frustrated with each other but nobody makes them laugh like their sibling. DD adores DS and is very proud of him, and DS absolutely idolises DD. Or they hate each other, depending on the moment!

Neemie · 31/08/2025 08:25

This type of thinking is so weird. How well they get on comes down to the personality of the individual children and sometimes how they are parented. My two get on really well but that is completely irrelevant to your children because they are different people.

Catsandcannedbeans · 31/08/2025 08:27

I’m one of six, four boys and two girls and I am so close with my brothers. Especially 2 and 5 (birth order). They’re great and always gave me amazing advice growing up such as “undo your blazer you look like a fucking Mormon” on my first day of secondary school.

I now have one of each (soon to be two girls one boy, can’t wait to see how he handles being out numbered) and they get on so well. DD6 is a bit bossy (she’s just like her mother) and DS4 just doesn’t have any of it. Sometimes they clash a bit (he kidnapped her cat last week and put her in his room, there was almost bloodshed) but most of the time they get on very well. She loves showing her little brother things and loves teaching him. I was a bit worried about him going to school next year if I’m totally honest with you, as I think he may be on the spectrum, but DD will look out for him…. She’s also a biter so if anyone tries to bully him good luck to them.

YourJoyousDenimExpert · 31/08/2025 08:29

One of each here too. Nearly 6 years apart. Have always got on well and now as young adults they are very much there for each other and have each other’s back and are definitely closer than I am with my sibling.

LyricalGangsta · 31/08/2025 08:29

Asking for “positive stories of mixed sex siblings” is unreasonable straight off the bat. 🙄

middleagedandinarage · 31/08/2025 08:30

I have 2 brothers, they are genuinely my best friends. We talk most days, go on holidays together etc. I definitely get on better with each of them than they do together if that makes sense. All my close friends have sisters and I remember feeling a bit sad when it came to getting married, having babies etc because they had their sister to share it with which seemed 'better' than sharing it with my brothers (this is the 1st and only time i'd ever felt it would of been nice to have sister rather than brother) but what I have come to realise is there always seems to be a degree of jealousy, competition, bitchiness almost between sisters and brothers (I see it with my own brothers) and I don't think you get that with brother/sister relationship. I also think growing up with brothers made me more robust and resilient as a person and probably somewhat more practical and hands on.

BumpyaDaisyevna · 31/08/2025 08:31

I have DD then DS - 2 years between them. It’s lovely. They’re teens now and he is taller than her - for the first time. We’ve just been away on hols and I really noticed how - despite the bickering 🤣 - how close they are and how they share their own teen world of school and insta and all the rest of it.

In particular he (younger) really looks up to her and hope she is going to come along/join in with an activity.

I also think because they are different sexes they just occupy different roles so there’s less competition. He’s the boy/ son and she’s the daughter/ girl. He’s my only son and she’s my only daughter.

thebabayaga · 31/08/2025 08:32

I've found the exact opposite, same sex siblings are usually far more competitive, there's lots of rivalry and every person I know who had two boys, they were forever physically fighting, or at least too rough, and having to be stopped from being too rough with each other constantly.

Anyway, you're extremely weird for making this a thing, you get what you get and should be incredibly delighted if you have a healthy child. Nothing else matters. At all.

HelpMeUnpickThis · 31/08/2025 08:34

Mushroo · 31/08/2025 07:33

Firstly, I know I’m being massively unreasonable.

When I had my first LO, I actually had a slight preference for the other sex, but once they arrived they are everything I wanted and more. They are just my world and everything people say about the positives for the other sex, they have! They are just the best.

Im pregnant with number 2 and really really wanted two the same, because I know so many brother / sister sets who are so close and it’s lovely.

We just found out we’ll be having one of each and I’m really upset.

Im surprised by my reaction and I know I’m being massively unreasonable, but whilst I get my head around it and adjust, please can you regale me with why one of each is amazing?

I dont want to be mean (at all) but I just need to say that having had 2 late losses, you should just be grateful for a healthy baby.

I am not trying to be mean and you already admitted YABU but I just really need to say that a healthy baby is a blessing, regardless of gender.

Iwasphotoframed · 31/08/2025 08:36

I have 3 children, 2 of one sex and 1 the other. They all get on fantastically well and are now teens and an adult.

You will have to learn an ability to step outside of your own feelings/misgivings to support them developing close relationships as they grow up as parents need to do, but yes male and female children can get on extremely well.

MiseryIn · 31/08/2025 08:39

I have one older brother and he’s an entitled arsehole so no, we don’t get on in later life 😏

UniqueStork · 31/08/2025 08:42

I have 3 girls and 3 boys. The pairings that are closer depend on personality, not sex. In honesty, the pairings that get on best are mixed sex siblings in this household.

Didimum · 31/08/2025 08:43

The thing is, OP, they might be close or they might not be. Scouting the internet for evidence that boy/girl sibling sets can be close won’t change what you’ve got. Take this time to connect with your baby and prepare your LO for their new sibling.

crossedlines · 31/08/2025 08:45

I think upbringing and age gap are more relevant factors. I actually have 3 children, two ds and a dd. I had them all close together and they’ve grown up as a little team. It was never the case that the two boys had some special bond that left their sister out, they often used to play all three together or would sometimes break off and play in any combination of two. Adults now and all get on well. I think a lot of it is how they’re raised and for us, having them all close meant shared interests and activities so it was perhaps easier for them to connect with each other. I had ds1 in Year 3, dd in Year 2 and ds2 in Reception, so they went through their school years together and were teenagers together…. Imo if I’d had children all of the same sex but born years apart, there would have been much less chance of them having such a close connection as they’d have been at very different stages during their childhoods and would have had different experiences. So it’s not all about their sex.

CremeBruhlee · 31/08/2025 08:46

My mixed sex 3 year age gap are the absolute best of friends. Adore each other (literally saying I love you and hugs every day) even now one is preteen. We realised that we could do cottage holidays if we wanted as they have a built in friend. they will spend hours playing together. If they are apart they absolutely pine for each other and run into each others arms when they are back. Definitely helps in terms of them mixing individually with other boy/girls too. I had girl first and if pushed would have preferred another girl but now wouldn’t have it any other way. They are so close and wonderful together. They are currently sat up together in one of their single beds playing Roblox against each other and will shortly be going to sport game to cheer one of them on

Allswellthatendswelll · 31/08/2025 08:50

MidnightPatrol · 31/08/2025 08:13

I agree to be curious about the reversal of desire of boys and girls…!

I am interested in the reasoning!

Show quote history

Yes and how socially acceptable it seems to be to express this preference!

I could be being unfair to OP and she really wants two boys but there are lots of Mums who seem to just only want girls! It's sad!