To be surprised by the names of the “posh kids” at DDs school

[marilee]

Hi all, my DD just started primary 1. The catchment area for her new school is super mixed with all the nicest houses in the town but also 2 council areas so a real mix. We live in a council flat, I can’t say I’ve rubbed shoulders with the more middle class half of the town and I grew up in a firmly working class area so this is the first time in my life I’m properly mixing with this group (I know that’s awful but it’s just how life has been for me so far).

I don’t know why but I was expecting all the posh kids to have more extravagant names but almost every single one of them is just a very basic name (James, Harry, Anna, Clara, Emily, Emma etc.). While the names I’d normally have associated as being more “posh” are actually the names of the kids from my area (Rafferty, Arabella, Florence, Theodore).

AIBU to be shocked by this? Is this normal or a little regional quirk?

Louis is one of William’s own middle names. I posted above - it’s a traditional German royal name and was given to William in honour of his father’s uncle, Louis Mountbatten.

Yes, Duchess of Somerset, and she was considered a candidate for Queen of England, as successor to Elizabeth I.

Yes it is. I'm not sure that contradicts my comment though?

It is!!😂

I believe it was also quite popular amongst French royalty!

I work in a school (non teaching role) in a more wealthy area, with the odd 'council estate' thrown in. I have never seen any pretentious named children. It's all fairly normal - Amelia, Georgia, Sophie, Stan, James, Henry, Harry, Toby, Isla, Lily - there's not been a Tarquin in sight!!

Well, you were implying that Louis wasn’t a traditional royal name. I mean, obviously it depends how far back you’re going, but it’s been used by the British royal family for a long time. I’m not sure where you’re drawing the line on traditional v foreign!

But as you say the rest of them are just using whatever names they like. Good, and also surely irrelevant to the rest of us anyway. They’re just a family.

😂 Yes, but that’s not where William got the name from, as the post I was replying to suggested.

It was a bit of a light-hearted comment making the point that names do get passed about, country to country and class to class. It's the ones that stay firmly put in a certain milieu that tend to be a bit less "classy."

DS best friend is Hugo, in their early teens so not a recent name trend. When DS started mentioning Hugo I did assume he was a posh/upper class boy. Hugo lives in the local council estate and is from a single parent family. Lovely lad but definitely not from what many would imagine a Hugo being from.

I agree with you there. Why the hell can’t anyone who wants to call their child Hugo or Jackson or Monty or Jim? If you like a name, you get to use it without being accused of social climbing or damaging your child’s life chances!

I actually think it's a bit lax of any parent to think "oh I like x name but we're not 'good enough' to use that." Of course consider the ramifications in the context of where your child will grow up, but beyond that a name can be used by anyone.

What I am not so keen on is trying to make a child stand out by making it up or plucking a name out of obscurity for the purpose of being different as a kind of "look at me." Because actually it isn't look at me; it's look at my child and the child might not enjoy that. We all find ways to stick out if we desire to do so, but it ought to be a personal decision by the individual, not one thrust upon them. Children normally like to be similar to others, and it can take maturity before we are ready to stand apart.

But if it's a traditional name that is recognised as a name, then why not?

Ain't no working class kid in this world called Lucinda

Just an observation

Well I mean there obviously is from different cultures… I know a Spanish Lucinda who you would identify as working class.

I kind of agree. But then Lucinda isn't of the "plain Jane" variety of name that some on here would contend is necessary to be posh.

I think it's more that a name can't be posh if it's made-up or adapted as a name from a place, surname or brand name

A young Rafferty I know has a cousin called Jayden…
pretty sure it’s not considered posh!

Lady Mary Wortley Montagu (as she became) eloped with her lover to escape an arranged marriage with an Anglo-Irish gentleman called - I kid you not - Sir Clotworthy Skeffington.
Apparently Clotworthy was the surname of one of his ancestors. I think that used to be a thing - not picking a surname-type first name just because you liked it, but because it was a family name.

Actually you're right: I think that's true in the sense of using family names.

I was more meaning when people choose it to sound manly or important.

But you make a good point as perhaps all those Carters, Jensons and Madisons are named after relatives!

Funny because in America the upper class names (for boys and girls) are traditionally surnames - usually the wife's maiden name

Booth, Banks, Sutton, Smith etc

And Hunter!

I've taught a working class Lucinda.

Soz.

LOLOLOL! Tell me you're desperate for people to think you're middle class, without telling me you're desperate for people to think you're middle class. 😂

You're kidding aren't you @marilee I know a number of 'common' and gobby 'lower working class' people (who could have come off the set of Shameless,) who have children called Theodore and Florence and Nora. The middle class people I know have Emma, Emily, Charlotte, Lily, Hannah, William, George, etc.

Never heard of Rafferty, and would never call a child that!

What a weird thread. 😆

Truly posh people are extremely conscious of how posh they are, and therefore they use 'family' names, including the odd outlier by today's standards if it's a family name. Pedigree and signifiers of pedigree are far more important to the truly posh than non-posh people realise.

Those names are a modern take on older WASP naming traditions. They're not 'upper class' or entirely confined to WASPs any more. You're as likely to find them in trailer homes in Alabama as in the leafy suburbs of San Francisco, or the lacrosse teams of Connecticut high schools, Northeast Missouri State University, or Hahvad Yahd.

A funny aspect of names is that what's considered hoity toity in one culture can be perceived differently in another. Throw in race or a huge immigrant population and the picture becomes even more nuanced.

Hector is almost 100% likely to be the name of a first generation child of Hispanic descent, or the name of his father or grandfather. Reuben is another very popular Hispanic name, but it's also found in the wider population. A girl named Octavia or Lucinda would be assumed to be African American.

Irish here - no, Rafferty is not used as a forename in Ireland (as far as records show anyway).

Someone I know went to school with a lad named Raftery though. Anthony Raftery (Antoine O Raifteiri) was a famous blind Irish poet whose life and work straddled the end of the 18th century and the beginning of the 19th, a period of immense social, economic, and cultural upheaval in Ireland. He was known as the last of the wandering bards and with his demise went all the ancient tradition associated with the bardic culture. The late 20th century Raftery was named after the bard.