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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dada always doing nursery run, is he single?

625 replies

ByDandyTurtle · 28/08/2025 19:20

Aibu in thinking he must be single as I never see a woman drop of the child

I want to approach him but unsure

OP posts:
Didimum · 28/08/2025 20:27

Butchyrestingface · 28/08/2025 20:22

I was responding to OP's post stating that people on MN need to get out more.

Is there a particular reason you're an apologist for this OP and her nasty comments?

And yes, I believe her behaviour goes beyond simply 'noticing' someone else.

She’s very clearly defending herself from multiple people being complete arseholes to her.

Same old story on here.

Single people are allowed to fancy other people and wonder if they are also single. Shocker. It’s bizarre it offends you so much.

HappyMuma · 28/08/2025 20:27

My DH has always done the school run in the morning, he’s very much married!!

Butchyrestingface · 28/08/2025 20:27

"I can't be down with that. That would imply nursery pick off is 'wife's work'."

I may have invented a new phrase there myself. Confused

HippeePrincess · 28/08/2025 20:29

ByDandyTurtle · 28/08/2025 19:47

18 months be done all the drop offs, she's never attended sporta day or stay & plays

I don’t do any drop offs or pick ups, or anything else, I work long hours full time and on my day off dc isn’t at nursery. Dp works school hours, part time, term time only near the nursery so he does everything child related. Never occurred to me that someone would think he’s single due to this.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 28/08/2025 20:29

ByDandyTurtle · 28/08/2025 20:16

Yes they are being very abusive on this thread.

Who are?

Butchyrestingface · 28/08/2025 20:31

Didimum · 28/08/2025 20:27

She’s very clearly defending herself from multiple people being complete arseholes to her.

Same old story on here.

Single people are allowed to fancy other people and wonder if they are also single. Shocker. It’s bizarre it offends you so much.

It's bizarre that you are projecting emotions onto a complete stranger. I'm not remotely "offended". If anything, mildly amused.

Nobody has remotely suggested that single people shouldn't be allowed to fancy other people and wonder if they're also single. That's just more projection on your part.

Eggsyummyeggs · 28/08/2025 20:31

My husband does the school run everyday. I've never taken ds to school.
I've attended events and parents evening.

Moveoverdarlin · 28/08/2025 20:31

My DH does all the school runs and nursery pick-ups. His car is electric and far cheaper to run than mine, so he does the brunt of driving.

Poppins2016 · 28/08/2025 20:31

My DH does almost all the nursery drop offs and pick ups (the children attend part time while I work, however my working hours aren't particularly compatible with the "nursery run").

... I agree with the others who have said that, if he was single, you'd probably see mum doing some drop offs/pick ups too... (although I suppose it would depend on contact arrangements).

ConfusedSloth · 28/08/2025 20:31

soupyspoon · 28/08/2025 20:26

What the hell are you talking about?

Back in the real world, people meet the partners at work, on a bus, in a taxi, down the shop, in a restaurant, doing running, going to the gym.

There is a world out there you know and people talk and they fancy each other and they wonder about people and ask their friends or people they know.

Who on earth meets in a taxi unless they're in a New York based rom com?! 😂

PurpleSocks37 · 28/08/2025 20:32

People are being nasty with OP because they are worried that man is their DP but even if that guy is not single she is just going to talk with him, nothing wrong.

Pigtailsandall · 28/08/2025 20:32

I'd say just ask him for a coffee one morning after drop off. Like, "whoah, it was hard work getting little Alice out this morning. I reached a coffee. Heard the place around the corner is good, do you fancy one?" Worst case scenario,he says no, or says yes and is attached - but you make a pal or new connection. It's just coffee, not a romantic weekend at the lake district.

But then again I'm north American and have a totally different take on dating.

Newsenmum · 28/08/2025 20:33

Riverbiscuits · 28/08/2025 19:22

My husband does all the morning school runs 🤷‍♀️

Uhoh watch out 🤣

everychildmatters · 28/08/2025 20:33

You know what I find disappointing? That it's 2025 and so many women still see a father doing the school runs as an indicator he might be single!!
It's 2025! Women work (and I applaud them for doing so!) Men share childcare (quite rightly!) Women are even sometimes the main earner! 💪

Butchyrestingface · 28/08/2025 20:33

VerityUnreasonble · 28/08/2025 20:26

I enquired of my crystal ball for you OP:

The mists swirl within the mystical crystal orb, revealing glimpses of suburban life and family dynamics...

The Crystal's Vision: The sight of a father consistently handling nursery duties does not necessarily indicate single parenthood. The ethereal energies reveal multiple possibilities in the cosmic tapestry:

What the Crystal Ball Shows

Scenario 1: Partnership Dynamics
The crystal reveals that in many modern relationships, parents divide responsibilities based on practical considerations. Perhaps his partner works earlier hours, has a longer commute, or handles evening pickup duties instead. The morning nursery run might simply be the most logical arrangement for their family schedule

Scenario 2: Temporary Arrangements
The swirling mists suggest this could be a temporary situation - perhaps his partner is dealing with health issues, work demands, or other commitments that make the current arrangement necessary. Single parenthood isn't the only explanation for one parent handling regular duties

Scenario 3: Personal Choice
The crystal's energies indicate he might genuinely enjoy this special time with his child. Many parents treasure these quiet morning moments together, regardless of their relationship status

Scenario 4: The Single Parent Reality
Of course, the orb doesn't dismiss the possibility - he could indeed be single, whether through divorce, separation, or other circumstances, making him the primary caregiver responsible for all nursery duties

The Crystal's Wisdom
The mists clear to reveal this truth: Consistent nursery run duty alone is insufficient evidence to determine relationship status. The crystal suggests observing other signs - does he wear a wedding ring? Does he mention a partner in casual conversation? Are there other adults involved in pickup duties?
The most revealing approach would be friendly conversation during these regular encounters, allowing natural disclosure of family circumstances without intrusive questioning.

The crystal ball fades to darkness, having shared its mystical insights...

Unrelated to these Ainsights, my DH used to do all the nursery stuff really, it was next door to his work, he did less hours than me, and I worked nights a lot so was often asleep. I did show up if I was on annual leave or DH was ill or something though so people probably knew I existed.

Was that ChatGPT?

soupyspoon · 28/08/2025 20:33

Butchyrestingface · 28/08/2025 20:31

It's bizarre that you are projecting emotions onto a complete stranger. I'm not remotely "offended". If anything, mildly amused.

Nobody has remotely suggested that single people shouldn't be allowed to fancy other people and wonder if they're also single. That's just more projection on your part.

She's been called predatory and stalkerish and another poster alludes that approaching someone in such a situation would make them feel 'uncomfortable' and its not socially acceptable

If the sexes were reversed no doubt someone would have phoned the police by now its that bad.

Newsenmum · 28/08/2025 20:33

ConfusedSloth · 28/08/2025 20:31

Who on earth meets in a taxi unless they're in a New York based rom com?! 😂

This is is funny. Meeting in a taxi!

ByDandyTurtle · 28/08/2025 20:33

Pigtailsandall · 28/08/2025 20:32

I'd say just ask him for a coffee one morning after drop off. Like, "whoah, it was hard work getting little Alice out this morning. I reached a coffee. Heard the place around the corner is good, do you fancy one?" Worst case scenario,he says no, or says yes and is attached - but you make a pal or new connection. It's just coffee, not a romantic weekend at the lake district.

But then again I'm north American and have a totally different take on dating.

Yes if only there was a good coffee shop nearby, nursery is on a council estate and in a well built up area.... So would be out the way for both of us

OP posts:
WaitWhatWhatWait · 28/08/2025 20:34

ByDandyTurtle · 28/08/2025 20:16

Yes they are being very abusive on this thread.

Very Abusive??? What on earth?

CountryQueen · 28/08/2025 20:34

He’s Kevin

soupyspoon · 28/08/2025 20:34

ConfusedSloth · 28/08/2025 20:31

Who on earth meets in a taxi unless they're in a New York based rom com?! 😂

The driver and the passenger.

everychildmatters · 28/08/2025 20:34

@Pigtailsandall Yeah, not sure his wife would be too happy.

Midwifelife · 28/08/2025 20:34

ByDandyTurtle · 28/08/2025 19:20

Aibu in thinking he must be single as I never see a woman drop of the child

I want to approach him but unsure

Could be my kid. Shift working mama, drop off Dada. Hands off

Butchyrestingface · 28/08/2025 20:34

everychildmatters · 28/08/2025 20:33

You know what I find disappointing? That it's 2025 and so many women still see a father doing the school runs as an indicator he might be single!!
It's 2025! Women work (and I applaud them for doing so!) Men share childcare (quite rightly!) Women are even sometimes the main earner! 💪

Yeah, that's depressing. Equality for women still has so far to go.

rainbowunicorn · 28/08/2025 20:35

BusWankers · 28/08/2025 20:15

Raise funds? How?

Literally never heard of nursery sports days.

All the nurseries round about here have sports days and have done for at least 20 years when my oldest was there. To raise funds they usually had teas and coffees, home baking and a raffle. Sometimes a stall selling things the children had helped to make or little plants that they had planted the seeds for. It really isn't unusual for nurseries to have sports days.