Dada always doing nursery run, is he single?

[ByDandyTurtle]

Aibu in thinking he must be single as I never see a woman drop of the child

I want to approach him but unsure

Maybe a casual conversation is a good starting point. Ask something about the childcare centre or where they got an outfit their DC is wearing when you drop off your child or pick them up. If he says, “My wife picked out DC’s outfit,” then you know.

You better be careful.

Ex (when we were together) used to do all the morning drop offs because I started work at 3 in the morning and he started much later. It was also just down the road from his work..
When I worked in a nursery sometimes it was just mum or dad who always did the nursery run, as obviously that worked for them.

Ffs are you a horny teenager. He's probably in a relationship .

I reckon he's most likely not single because as you say, he's going from there straight to work which means it's probably out of convenience for him to do drop offs. His wife/ partner is probably at work. Of course there's a possibility he's single but there's no way for you to find that out without chatting to him and he sounds busy. Asking him for coffee when you've never chatted is awkward too. I'd probably write him off and look for a man elsewhere.

My husband does every single pick up and drop off. I really hope there aren’t other mums thinking it’s appropriate to hit on him at a nursery setting because he ‘seems’ single. Would just end up being extremely awkward for future pick ups/drop offs

People do seem to get very uptight about single mums and the thought of them approaching their man! Just ask him if he’s single. If he says no, say it was just a question as it’s nice to find parents in a similar boat. If he says yes, ask him out for a coffee. What’s the worst that can happen? If someone asked my OH this he’d be over the moon and beyond flattered!!

That might be a bit full on for a first conversation.

Not really - we are thinking of our very non single husbands who participate in school life! Mine does all the pick ups, he’s not available.

Each time I open ‘trending’ mumsnet this morning and see ‘Dada…’ I inwardly giggle 😂

If his wife/ partner is a teacher, then they will struggle to be at events during school hours.
They may choose not to attend playdates etc if they are reserved/ don't know the school mums as dad always does the drop offs and pick ups.

I know lots of dads who take on the majority of their kids school runs and social lives. I wouldn't automatically assume they were single.

God what ridiculous replies to an otherwise innocent thread. The woman just wants to know if he’s single, she’s not stalking him. Why is everyone making out like she’s been taking photos of him and storing them in an album? If he turns out to not be single, who cares?

OP, just ask.

She risks a very awkward and uncomfortable situation if she asks him directly.
If he's does have a wife/ partner he will likely tell her that a school mum asked if he was single. It would make future encounters upsetting for OP, make the dad feel awkward, not to mention how his wife/ partner would feel if he told them.

OP needs to find another, less direct way to find out.

My husband did the majority of the drop offs. & shared the pick ups . He was WFH job role so made sense.

I benefit from 12 weeks of nursery picks up due to a teacher
Are you a teacher, @ByDandyTurtle ? If so, I despair.

Lots of people still live like this. The majority at our school in fact. Well, those who are fortunate enough to afford a car, that is. Lots of Dads bike/walk to work and Mums bike/walk on the school run.

OP- all the Mums do the school run here, so it would look very unusual. However, I would tread carefully- the only Dad who does the school run also has a SAHW, but she is currently in very poor physical health at home. They are very much together and married, so I guess you could start by saying ‘hello’ and getting to know this Dad a bit better first. Or ask if other parents you speak to know?

"Our children" you mean you aren't single...? So why bothered with a dad who may or may not be?

We have a mix of single dads without partners and dads who have a partner doing all the drop off and pick ups. You may just have to pluck up the courage to ask!

@Shellyash , OP and Dada each have a child at the nursery.
Unless OP is currently in a blended family.

Good point, I wasn't thinking when she said 3 & 3.5 - they couldn't both be hers. early and not had my coffee yet.

Some of the responses are wild! I don’t think j it’s predatory to want to find other single people.

I don’t think he’s necessarily single, and I wouldn’t come out and ask him for a coffee etc, but I would start making polite conversation. At least you can have someone to smile and nod at on school run if nothing h else!

I think people feel that she knows an awful lot about him. She has noticed he does every drop and pick up, she has noted he always attends events (though then mentions different sports days for her child so not sure how she would definitely know if mum did attend the other one), she seems to know where he goes to work or at least the route he drives as she has mentioned not being able to ask him for coffee after drop off because of this.
Some of this might be noticeable like knowing who usually does drop off and pick up, but I am clearly not very observant as I wouldn't know what way other parents went to work.

Aibu in thinking he must be single as I never see a woman drop of the child
😆
I never did the nursery run.
Dh is self employed and would drop the kids off as he literally drove past it on the way to his unit. He would often pick them up a d do his paperwork from home or the childminder would pick them up. I worked in the opposite direction and started work before nursery was open.

Dh was definitely not single!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to approach someone who you met on the school run or stalkerish about it.

I just find it depressing that OP assumes that the only reason a man would do drop offs and pick ups is because he’s single. Its as if a working woman is a completely alien concept.

I think the confusion here is that people are talking about nursery drop off, not school drop off. Nursery hours are very often 8-5.30 or even from 7.30. If the school where the parents work is close to the nursery this is manageable - drop at 8, at school 8.20, leave school 5, pick up 5.20.