Dada always doing nursery run, is he single?

[ByDandyTurtle]

Aibu in thinking he must be single as I never see a woman drop of the child

I want to approach him but unsure

Hope he doesn't have any bunnies.

Back when DS was at nursery DH did everything because the nursery was near where he worked. I think I went to one Christmas bash.

If someone had taken a shine to DH I think he would have been oblivious. Actually quite taken with the idea that he missed a load of advances. I could have been free of his snoring if he’d noticed.

OP, I’m torn between thinking you should just ask him, but also somewhat concerned by how you know he goes on the motorway etc.

My dh does most drop offs and pickups. Ridiculous

You shouldn't have moaned on behalf of teachers if you didn't want a response. You're right, your moan was irrelevant, but too late now.

Your moan was very boring and when I read "And, also, if I said "my (non-teaching) job has no flexibility" would you really reply "except for the 7.6 weeks you're on annual leave" as if it's a clever comeback?" I assumed you were a teacher talking hypothetically. Which is, of course a perfectly normal misunderstanding of your badly worded moan.

I get it, you're not a teacher, you just moan on their behalf.

And you're still moaning. Please, for the love of God, stop moaning.

I’m not sure why you’re getting such a hard time on this OP.

I agree that it is fairly unusual for one parent to do every single drop, pick and event. Usually the other parent does an occasional one / event even if they work full time in a hugely inflexible job.

Obviously you need to find a way to talk to him. A suggestion of a play date one weekend could work, ‘the girls get on well, perhaps we could meet at the park this Saturday?’ type of thing. Or if you are both at a nursery birthday party for example. I agree that suggesting coffee whilst you’re both heading off to work is good in theory but unlikely to be practical but there are other ways. Best of luck!

I don't think @thebabayaga has a job.

I didn't moan about anything? What are you on about?

I don't think you know what "moan" means. You know words have actual meaning right? You can't just say "stop moaning" when you mean "wahhhhhh, I made myself look stupid and I don't like you pointing it out!!!!!!"

@SoftPillow Again, teachers. What school runs can they do?

And the endless moan goes on.

The most bonkers thing I’ve read for a while. don’t embarrass yourself.

Again, my comment wasn't moaning - yours was. Again. You are the only person moaning.

And you're still moaning. You sure you're not a teacher? They do love the sound of their own moany voices 😅

I will say this though, it's good you're bumping my comments with your (apparently) endless moaning :) Appreciated. Just for anybody who missed it, this was the original comment which was in response to a moan on behalf of teachers:

"I have never known anybody to moan as much as teachers. I mean, seriously. Please, if your job is that terrible, just do something else. There's no gotcha to that, btw, if there were no teachers and no schools we'd just figure something else out like we used to.

We're all sick of hearing about how you don't really get three months off a year because you work till midnight with a candle for heat and fingerless gloves, and are beaten up on the daily and save up your extra coins to bring in supplies for your classroom while you eat gruel three times a day.

"ooh and well I suppose you'd think it was funny if....blah de blah de blah de blah" I don't care. Compassion fatigue is real, please for the love of God STOP MOANING."

It feels good to finally say this out loud, we're all supposed to dance around the constant moaning.

So thank you, oh moany one, for letting me air my views :)

@ConfusedSloth Don't worry about @thebabayaga. She can probably do all of the school runs iyswim? 😀

But if he DOES, are they single and free to mingle? - is the $64,000 question.

Again, you're the only person who's been moaning. And this isn't Reddit, replying to you doesn't "bump" anything.

iyswim? Eh? I did the school runs, yes, and now my kids are older. What an odd comment.

Two braincells competing for third place I think

Well, I do know teachers that do nursery drop off (it’s next to the school, I see her do this most days) Not sure on pick-up granted but she probably does that too. Our old nursery is 7.30-6pm, so you could be a teacher and drop off/pick up.

I also know teachers who come to weekend events or birthday parties. Their half terms don’t always match ours so we seem them dropping/picking up then. And obviously in the holidays the child might still be at nursery and so you would see them then. Not all the time, but occasionally.

I also know full time NHS hospital doctors and consultants who manage drop and pick ups.

In some cases you see one parent most of the time, but the other parent does occasionally come to some special events or when their work allows. I maintain that it is unusual to never, not once over several years, see the other parent or have them mentioned. It’s possible but unusual.

But I think you might be spoiling for a fight rather than looking for logic.

You sound like you spend a lot of time on Reddit, I have never commented there, so good for you for knowing Reddit rules.

Of course it bumps it, if the comment is quoted that means it is seen over and over again, bump means "bring up my post" so yes, you quoting me over and over brings up my post.

Anyway, please stop moaning :)

@SoftPillow I didn't say nursery teachers. I referred specifically to school teachers. I was a primary teacher for 20 years and I'd be fascinated to know of any primary teachers who can do school runs?

No harm in approaching him and finding out the lay of the land. It's how all relationships pre OLD started. Good luck.

Am thinking this is why so many men are reticent about helping out with childcare. If they go anywhere unchaperoned by DC’s mum they are either pedophiles or single and on the hunt for another single parent… 🤦🏽‍♀️

damned if they do, damned if they don’t…

This 👆

Hello, or good morning often work as a conversation starter. I would probably follow up with something like "I knew the dry weather wouldn't last forever" or some such, as opposed to "are you single? I'm gagging for it"

Mum might be a teacher.

How is thinking a man might be single him being damned? It's not like the OP is going to do anything terrible to him. She might speak to him.

I think the simple reason that men don't do childcare on the whole is because they don't want to. They do seem to manage to do things they do want to do, pretty regularly. Obviously not all men 😄