To feel resentment that my parents are so well off

[Lissm]

I know I will get flamed for this...
My parents are in their early 70s. My father worked in a factory in a low skilled job and was made redundant when he was 56, and retired on a full pension. My mother worked on and off as a cashier and stopped working at 57.

They have a house which must be worth close to £800k, purchased for £40k, and £200k+ in savings and investments. They are able to save at least £1k each month.

We have worked just as hard as they have but we will never have their sort of financial security. We have 6 months of savings and that's it.

I feel so angry that this has happened - not at them but at the situation.

I thought every subsequent generation would at least enjoy the same standard of living. I dread to think what is going to happen to my children.

PIL lived like paupers, spent nothing, gave nothing towards weddings etc, think £30 for GC 21st birthdays, staying in youth hostels in their 70’s rather than hotels, yet when FIL died it came to light they have over £1m assets.
The good they could have done, the lives they could have had.

Im 73 -DCs Are 40s -they are much better off than DH and I were at that age. We have helped them but they work very hard and deserve what th ey have.
What might cheer up the OP is that 65-75 is known as sniper alley to us. So many get picked off and die or have debilitating illness - Only a minority live into their 90s
Would I rather be a rich 73 year old or a poor 40 year old - what do you think k

Do you mind me asking how old you are, @cumbriaisbest? I really hate consumerism as a past time but can't remember a time that it wasn't. I'm in my 40s and curious about when this shift happened. I know people now who would list 'shopping' as a hobby.

The good they could have done, the lives they could have had

Similar story ( although on a much lesser scale ) for my parents. Although I never saw a penny of it.

No need for Snipers Alley. OP does not wish her parents harm.

Born 3 years after rationing ended.

Thatcher ruined everything. The greed kicked in then.

No need for Snipers Alley. OP does not wish her parents harm.

True -that was a bit unfair but critics of boomers seem oblivious to the fact boomers are rapidly falling off their mortal coil. Getting old and or ill. I agree that final salary pensions and the triple lock are unfair and need changed but no one deliberately planned this. No one foresaw the astounding developments in medicine.

Similar here.
Mum has just bought a new car because she liked the colour. Meantime, two of her children have cars that don't work. It's not that she has to spend her money on us at all. But at least acknowledge how your children are struggling. It just feels like a kick.
It's just not what I would do if I had the money she has

Blaming Thatcher -hmmm. I would blame television and those American tv series where everyone was good looking and had huge houses, giant fridges, amazing cars……

Shopping as a hobby probably started properly in the 70s, Brent Cross centre was first and opened in 1976 and I went to Centre MK when that opened in 1979 to shop, I think I went the first week with my friend, there was a huge C and A. They were like destination shopping places to go to and browse the shops for a day out.

It really bears repeating, doesn’t it. Activism through the ‘60s and ‘70s cleared away so much that was wrong, and younger generations have been the beneficiaries of that.
It was always going to be a bit too late for many of the leading lights of those various movements to reap fully these benefits, but fervour wasn’t diminished by that concern.
Nowadays there’s sometimes rejection of that general legacy, on the grounds that not every single wrong was righted. (Not every wrong was even detectable to the naked eye, of course)
But I’ve no patience with such whingeing. It was good work, and it matters.

(I swear there’s an assumption out there that if you were born in the late ‘50s, say, you are inescapably a Hyacinth Bucket and the worst kind of bigot and miser.)

Really?! I think £3400 is loads!

My dad had a friend who was as tight as a tick, never married. Everyone knew he was the wealthiest man in his small town. Dad asked him once what he thought was going to happen to all his money when his nephew inherited it, his response was that if he had as much fun spending it as he had saving it, he’d have a great time.

I think your last post hit the nail on the head for me OP. Its lovely that they were lucky and people can have nice retirements. But when I get resentful is when 1. that generation consistently downplays the advantages they had and insist it was all because of their hard work and 2. are quite happy to vote for policies which mean subsequent generations wont have the same advantages they will. Its infuriating.

As an aside 3 hot months with no air con has been hellish. Can't afford to get it fixed.

I grew up in a house without central heating, my mum had a twin tub that was a nightmare as the drainage attachment pipes used to fall off and flood the kitchen. My parents did not have a holiday abroad until long after we kids had left home but they did use to eat out when we were older and I always felt they really deserved it. I have vague memories of the day we got a fridge, I was very little and it was exciting! I also remember the day my dad came home with our first TV it was black and white of course and one of the few on our street. I think I was about 4 and I thought it was magical!

But the £800000 pound house is only worth if they can massively downsize or move area, my parents house was worth £600000 in london - 3 bed terrace , to downsize still would have had to spend £500000 so not as large amount money when you look at it like that. Also they would have had been paying a mortgage when interests were sky high. Some people also are very good savers , and its also bit luck, you may be in there position when they are older or may not, you can’t predict. Just do your best and live your best life

No, they didn't. They might have done about "always going on holiday" (once a year) but indoor loos , central heating and fridges were seen as improvements anybody would appreciate. There was a lot of judgment about working mothers and women drivers though, from the older generation mainly.

Council tax £500
Utilities £300
Childcare £200 afterschool club, £600 nursery (get free hours)
Commute £160 (2 of us 2 days a week. Much less than pre covid.

Haven’t added in food, holidays, presents, Christmas, insurance, car running costs etc. 2 high rate taxpayers are not rich!

Take aways were very rare, my GP never even had one until prob in their 50’s , then fish and chip was a cheap take away, they had less clothes, less make up and less things to spend money on, holidays abroad were rare. Yes final salary were great etc and instead of being jealous we should be shouting for more. The thinv thats screwed us is houses being allowed to rise so much in last 25-30 years and thats on all parties , they have all been in power. My nan £60000 flat bought 27 years ago now worth £350000 , the wages in the area have not gone up at the same rate.

@Skippingandslipping £500 a month council tax? Are you living in a mansion in Rutland?

£500 council tax is insane?

But agree with the rest. Nursery fees are a killer and a so is a mortgage. Our rate isn’t even that high as we have a good LTV but it’s still £1k per month. Gas/electric are also much higher than they used to be and no winter fuel allowance to soften the blow for the past few years!

But years ago people never had 2 wages often as mums stayed home so had to manage on one or one full time & one part time. Nursery feed are not forever so if you put that money into something when it finishes think how much you could potentially have. Life is different and our grandkids may think the same of us. The house prices/ rent is the biggest issue as gone up way above inflation etc over the years and probably what takes a lot of peoples income now

Let me guess: they’re furious about fuel benefit cuts? Am i right?

£150 doesn’t soften the blow much! And nursery fees are for a comparatively short period of time. Obviously they didn’t trouble boomers because childcare was virtually non existent.

As a mid-Boomer, I was in agreement with the decision to withdraw the WFA, but not at the original point. Now the Government have caved in and said it will be paid to any pensioner on under £35k income. Had the level been set somewhere between £15-18k, it would seem more equitable.