Territorial dispute in swimming pool

[tamade]

I am lucky enough to have a proper lunch break and at least three times a week I go to a nearby hotel and swim a mile, sometimes 2km.

Today I was alone in the pool and started swimming in lane two (of four) which is one lane away from the side closest to the changing rooms entrance. About 30 min later a man got in and stated to swim in lane 1. Five minutes after that he changed into my lane. I caught up with him at the far end and when he turned he looked at me swimming toward him and seemed surprised (surprised I hadn't moved lanes?). He then kicked off the wall and swam beneath me and under the lane divider into lane three. Not long after I finished up and went to get changed. Before exiting I looked back and sure enough he had moved back into lane two, which I presume is "his". And based on that I believe that he was trying to claim lane 2 when he initially moved in.

He is another regular I have seen him coming as I am going although we don't usually use the pool at the same time.

I think this is knobish behaviour

Nobody said that though, another example of drawing ridiculous conclusions. Folk who swim lots do tend to understand how to share lanes though.

Again, it's perfectly OK.
In a deep pool swimming under someone may be further away than swimming past them on the surface.
HTH

You know what would be even further away?

Swimming in your own damn lane like someone with actual social skills.

That's the whole point. Apart from the two of them it was an empty pool, and he, after initially swimming in Lane 1 on his own, then moved into her lane. Why would you do that? It's like someone in an empty train carriage or in an empty cinema choosing the seat next to you. Man or woman, that's a dick move. It's allowed but nobody would do that; it's a power play

OP was welcome to move too, if she found the presence of another person in what might also be their preferred lane that bothersome.
Sharing a lane is normal in lane swimming, especially if it's a popular lane.

But thankfully she stood her ground instead of letting the penis owner intimidate her into giving him what he wanted and thought he was entitled to take.

Why should two swimmers be navigating against each other in a shared lane when they are literally the only two swimmers in the pool and three other lanes are left unused?

It’s like someone trying to work in sets in between your sets on a piece of gym equipment when there are three other pieces of the same gym equipment free.

It's a shared lane in a shared pool.
It's nobody's ground, and she was the one who had a problem with someone else being there so.....someone who might not have even seen her to start with, and who quickly moved across....

No, he got in the pool after her and having a clear view of the pool situation.

He knew exactly what he was doing.

How does one manage to swim under a person they haven't even noticed?

Perhaps they both prefer that lane, for some reason. It's a non-story because he moved over and let her keep her 'territory'. ✌️

How does one fail basic comprehension?
It's not uncommon for a swimmer to not notice someone else then take evasive action when they do.
I suspect that's what happened here, but hey, trying to get inside the poor man's head is apparently more fun.

Don’t be an idiot. Sometimes people do what they’ve always done because they have always done it.

Not everyone sets out with the intention of upsetting someone else and making them feel uncomfortable.

My DS is a swimmer ( and a good one) and when he goes during the summer shutdown for a gentle swim he’s extremely considerate to the point the other swimmers comment on it. He keeps out of their way (and yes by ducking under for them to turn over him and waiting for them to get halfway back before he goes)

He knows the “fast” lane is for those who swim 25m in 30 seconds. He will do 50 easy in the same time. So he respects that and acts accordingly.

He’d feel awful if someone thought he was deliberately being obtuse - but he can’t control someone feeling like that when that’s not his intention.

in fact people have got more annoyed when he’s been given his own lane to swim than they have when he’s in with them - some people don’t like feeling others are getting something they aren’t 🤷‍♀️ (btw they add a lane during some sessions for him during quiet times if he lets them know he’s going)

You are both entitled to prefer and use that lane, at the same time. He did nothing wrong. He was possibly taken by surprise that he couldn't stay ahead of you? He then sensibly moved to another lane to accomodate this. You sound very territorial over "your lane".
I do regularly experience bad behaviour from males in the pool. I swim in a pool that is a free for all, other than 1 fast lane. There are men who pick their spot, in the open pool, and plough through in a straight line, no matter how busy it is, and who they might "take out".
He doesn't sound like one of those men, in fairness.

Someone with such poor eyesight or observational skills that they don't notice another swimmer in the pool before they get in is a danger to others.

They need to be more observant or get goggles with corrective lenses.

The chances that he didn't see the OP are virtually zero though.

Loads of folk don't have prescription goggles, and aren't that aware of who else is in the lane, especially if it's a larger pool. Again, while this is slightly irritating, it's not uncommon.

So what? I have lanes I prefer too - I hate swimming in an end lane by a wall for instance. I honestly can't see the issue. He moved! Then when you got out, he moved back. I'm amazed you've started up a whole MN thread on such a non-event!

I agree.

Who knows? It’s like why do people park next to you in a car park when there’s millions of empty spaces elsewhere?

Im guessing because most humans aren’t MNers and manage to live their lives with the presence of others quite happily without it becoming a drama 😉

I mean we are talking about the place where someone cannot visit without a 6 week warning and calender check, text to check it’s happening, text to say they’ve left , a window at which it’s suitable to arrive in etc.

Meanwhile in the real world ……

People are creatures of habit. He likes that lane and would prefer to be in it. He went in it when you finished your swim. I really think you are trying to find an issue where there isn’t one. Move on, it really isn’t worth the headspace.

I knew this was going to be a man. I swim regularly, keep decent lane etiquette and have only ever been swum into by men. I’m a size 18, it’s pretty obvious I’m there.

I know they don’t. I completely accept the possibility in that a busy or somewhat populated pool that that could very plausibly happen with absolutely no ill-intent. And I’m sure that your son swims very respectfully. I don’t remember questioning that

But that isn’t what this is. It was one woman swimming. A man got in, who was very likely put out that he couldn’t swim in his normal lane, and instead of shrugging his shoulders and moving to a different lane just this once, he swam right under her.

You can rationalise this all you like, justify his behaviour with a 100m swimming badge, whatever. But I personally feel that if the person who was actually there tells you how they felt in that situation then maybe, just maybe, you should believe them.

And I’m not an idiot

As stated, many of us have been swum into by females too. As for your size, being as most of your body is under water, it's still quite possible for people with poor sight to not see you straight away.

Yes! Actually, I've had more issues with women swimming into me / over me.

And I agree that the comment about being a size 18 is unnecessary.

Maybe he likes to swim in lane 2 but nothing about what you describe suggests he wanted you to give it up for him. It doesn't sound as though you had much interaction at all. Sounds like he did his best to keep out of your way. A lot of people like to swim in the middle lanes not the side ones.

And when you say he looked at you in a certain way, you should really allow for the fact that a lot of people aren't at their best in the swimming pool. Maybe without his glasses on, or inevitably with chlorine water in his eyes. I don't think you can assume anything from a look in these circumstances.