To side with DNiece because SIL has lost the plot!

[chillidoritto]

SIL is having a gender reveal later on. I hate the things but have kept my feelings to myself on this one.

This is her 3rd and final baby - DNiece is 11, DNephew is 18 months.

SIL (who isn’t usually this barking) has bought DNiece a pink dress to wear and DNiece is point blank refusing. DB and DNephew are wearing blue, fairly casual clothes.

SIL is crying and kicking off that DNiece is spoiling the whole thing! WTF?! I have told SIL she should just let DNiece wear what she wants! It didn’t go down well …

You were 100% unreasonable to get involved with someone else's family spat, yeah. Also 100% BU to argue with someone who thinks gender reveals are the thing to do.

But 100% not BU to think she's lost the plot.

She’s old enough to choose what’s he wants to wear. All sounds very instagrammy.

Oh dear. Not sure what else you can do now. Or why it's such a big deal for her since she has one of each already.

SIL can be very instagrammy!

This is one of those stupid SM situations where people care more about how they look in a photo online to other people than about their own child's feelings. YANBU for backing your DNiece. SIL needs to grow up.

Ah great, get them moulded into those mad gender roles young. Could've at least got the DD something equally casual.

She struggled to get pregnant with her second and this baby was a surprise! She is cherishing every single part of this pregnancy so that’s my guess why she’s being so OTT!

DNiece really isn’t a “pink dress” type of girl, in fact she doesn’t wear dresses at all!

The whole thing sounds very odd. Good luck. I wouldn't have gotten involved but it's nice that someone is showing some common sense and sticking up for your DN. Hopefully SIL calms down soon. I wouldn't upset my 11yr old child over an outfit but then I don't post my kids on social media for clout or for the sake of a photo op.
The only gender reveal I'd be interested in ... is an alien 👽 (and I say this as someone who begrudgingly hosted a gender reveal for her own SIL & BIL, with no thanks never again )

DNiece is refusing to attend at all if she’s made to wear the dress. Just let the girl wear shorts and t shirt ffs!!!

Is it at their house or is this happening at some actual venue? 😦

Some girls aren’t dress girls. A family member tried to force my daughter into a dress once. She was really hurt and offended that this relative didn’t know her well enough to see that she’s not the dress type, and was offended that this person thought she wasn’t ’good enough’ wearing something much more her style. She wore a feminine trouser suit in the end and looked incredible.

Thankfully at their house!! Her mum (DNiece’s grandma) is now trying to make SIL see reason!! Must be pregnancy hormones because she’s honestly not usually completely insane!

Yeah sil sounds unpleasant. Her dd will already probably be struggling a bit with a new sibling particularly an unexpected one who is much younger - way to tell her her feelings don't matter. She could have just asked her to pick a pink (or blue) outfit she liked to match the theme.

Stay in your lane

Where is her husband in all this?

why the fuck isn’t he sticking up for his daughter?

let me guess… this will be her half sibling and it’s with your SIL’s partner, not her father?

its going to be a late night for these little ones if the party hasn’t even started yet

it all sound so very selfish, silly and self absorbed

Yes lots of tired children already. My brother is dad to all kids and he has said let her wear what she wants!! DNiece is down now wearing shorts and t shirt (bright colours) that she is happy in. SIL nowhere to be seen!!! This is dragging on now!

And despite her father saying she can wear what she wants, your SIL went off on one

he should have intervened much more purposefully on his young daughter’s behalf

7.40pm and these poor overtired little ones should be bathed and chilling out with some books and milk before bedtime
not waiting for a bloody gender reveal party to kick off with the pregnant woman having a massive hissy

all so horrible

Lol tell her the baby is entitled to decide its own gender in good time. (Or perhaps don't 😁)

I hate gender specific colours so I'm siding with DN.

Presumably you are very confident no one at this shit show gender reveal party is on mumsnet

YANBU

11yo girls are not Dolls or props.

I find gender reveals bloody weird and have always made my excuses to not go. Imagine having a party which only serves to tell people what genitalia your baby has.

I don’t think it even matters if they are if they’ve been there to witness the whole shitshow they probably agree with OP

These poor kids forced into being social media clout at the expense of their feelings and privacy. These parents may present a happy jolly family but I bet their kids won’t be going to Sunday dinner when they’re older and can break free

Who knows with families like this

I imagine the booze is free flowing