To be fascinated by tidy people

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I’m just not tidy. Nor is my husband. We try. Actually very hard. We have two young children and a dog but there is literally stuff everywhere, all of the time.

I live in London, so we naturally have many parent friends right on our doorstep and there is a ‘drop in’ culture where we might wrap up a playground or common trip and head to each others houses.

Ours is not fit for that kind of spontaneity but others fling open their doors at any time and it’s like no one even lives there.

when conversations come up about chores, cleaning, tidiness, I recoil. They really are extremely tidy people and with young kids. You can’t mistake walking into a tidy persons house, it just feels, different.

The floors and sofa/furniture in our house just don’t look like theirs, even if you have a whip round and tidy you can tell.

So, tidy people, tell me, how do you do it. What are the tips. Was this nurture growing up in a tidy household? Or something you learned? AIBU to be ashamed my pram, car, house is always in need of a clean.

Organisation, storage and keeping on top of it.
Delegate things like photography and listing to your husband.
Make sorting bags out when you get home a thing you do with the children, make it a game, swimwear in wash bin, rubbish in bin, bag to its designated hook or cupboard.
Change bag and husband’s work bag each have a place to go. Off the floor, clear floor is easier to clean and looks better.
Three prams?
Get a kallax unit and have dedicate cubby holes for each thing.
Yes sit down and recover but move every so often and do just 15 minutes, one room, pick up everything that doesn’t belong there or is out of its place and put it away. Any time you have surfaces clear take the chance to wipe/polish whatever.
Baskets and storage boxes are wonderful and allow quick tidying of toys etc.
Last thing at night tidy the living area, plump up cushions etc.
Once you get on to of it maintenance takes less time. Conversely one something has sat out you stop seeing it and clutter builds.
It is much more pleasurable to sit and unwind in a tidy place.

My DW and I are both tidy people, we have 2 DC but neither one of us can abide mess and clutter. We just don't let clutter build up, everything in our house has a place so it's easy enough to keep on top of things. We wipe down daily and hoover daily.

Tidy as I go. Yes I have a child and pets so the house isn’t perfect, but my 2yo enjoys tidying up toys once she’s finished playing with them, before getting the next load out. She has a play area with LOTS of storage so that everything has a place, before she goes up to bed all her toys are tidied away. I feel like it’s slightly OCD, but also she’s learning to be organised in a fashion.
All other stuff has a place. My house is small, I have ALOT of things, but there is a place for it all. I try to keep up with the washing, it winds me up when I am looking for an item of clothing and it’s washed and dried but not put away, so I put the clothes away soon as I have a pile.
I have been called OCD but I wouldn’t consider my house that ‘tidy’ in the slightest, I just do it as I go so when child is in bed it’s my time to chill!

I think tidy people tend to

• spend most of their day tidying. I spend up.to 2 hours a day and barely sit down. It's still messy.
• have household members than can be "trained" or are naturally tidy themselves.

Moan about useless men all you want, not all partners will ever comply.with tidiness rules. It means there's more for you to.do than is manageable.

• have enough space for their stuff and are ruthless about keeping things
• do significantly fewer exciting things in their lives as they are consumed with tidying.

I say this despite really wanting a cleaner house and putting a lot of effort in. I recently had my eyes opened to just how much time people are willing to sacrifice for a tidy house.

Mess stresses me out and makes me feel uncomfortable and unable to relax.

I tidy as I go, so as soon as I come home from work, everything gets put away - dirty clothes in the laundry, shoes on the rack, dog stuff in the cupboard, coats on the hooks. When I leave a room, I take any rubbish with me, put dirty dishes in the sink. While I'm waiting for the kettle to boil, I'll wash dishes, wipe the sides, put a load of laundry on or sweep the floor. After I shower, I'll spray the shower down and wipe the glass. It's just automatic.

I also have a routine of doing certain things on certain days, so Friday is always the day we change the bedsheets, for example, and Thursday is when we wash the towels. It just means nothing ever builds up because it's always done.

I also do things as soon as they need doing, so as soon as the washing machine beeps, the clothes get put out to dry, or in the dryer. Once the drier beeps, clothes are taken out, folded and put away. If I leave stuff until later, I know I'll forget or not bother, so I find it easier to just get off my arse and do it straight away.

'Don't put it down, put it away.'

I agree with above posters, I think being tidy is inbuilt. I physically and mentally cannot relax until my house is clean and tidy and everything in it's place.

I am a very tidy person, always have been. I like things to be neat and ordered. I had to share a bedroom with a sister who was very messy and I hated it. My Mum was messy too and I was forever hoovering and tidying the house.
I don't like things out of place, or disordered. It doesn't take much to maintain my system.
A place for everything, and everything in it's place.
There's no need to throw stuff out, just keep items in place. I keep tables and surfaces clear.

Little jobs every day (bathrooms, light dusting, hoovering)
Dish washing and kitchen wipe after every meal.
Mop floors 2x week
Dust ceilings, skirting etc 2x month
Rota 3 big cleans for after Christmas, Easter, Summer holidays (ie under sofa, pull out beds etc)
Wash and iron as soon as ONE whole load is in the basket. Dry and put away immediately.
One touch rule- don’t open post then shove in a drawer or leave it in a “filing pile”- put it in the file immediately.
Get rid of any shit you don’t need- sell or give it away if:
a) out grown
b) you haven’t used it during the season it intended.
Put shoes in a cupboard, bottom of wardrobe- only one pair out at a time.
Kids need to tidy their own crap or it goes in a bin bag in the garage for a week- they soon learn to put away.

The less crap on display, the less you have to clean around. Nothing is too difficult if you do it regularly and keen on top.

I'm the same.

I think tidy people tend to spend most of their day tidying. I spend up.to 2 hours a day and barely sit down. It's still messy.

Honestly, tidying barely takes me any time at all because nothing ever builds up. When I leave the room, all my rubbish etc. goes with me. So if I got up now to go for a wee, I'd take any empty wrappers, cups etc. to the kitchen on the way, and wash them up on the way back.

If I get something out of a drawer to use, it goes straight back once I'm finished. Everything has a place so nothing ever needs to be left on a surface unless that's where it belongs.

Tidy/clean as you go.
Everything in its place and a place for everything!
I don’t have stuff!! If it’s not serving a purpose or looking pretty I’m NOT keeping it.
No eating anywhere except the kitchen table.
and a general “just do it now…attitude”

I spent a lot of Sunday on the couch and most evenings to be honest. I can do things very fast because my house is clean, tidy and organised. It’s actually time saving to be this way.

It's true, when it's a habit, you actually don't spend time tidying.

i just can’t relax until everything is put away and house sorted. Was the same when kids were tiny too - I think it’s just doing it regularly - takes me 30 mins every morning to get everything in order, then a big clean (proper hoover, not handheld - shelves, shower tray plug etc) on my day off. Once you get into a rhythm it’s much easier and less overwhelming.

My mum is a genuine freak - she loves to clean. Loves to clean to the point that she asked me and my siblings to chip in and get her a fancy hoover for Christmas. I did get her something else as well, but she hardly gave it a look when she saw we had got her the hoover. Was a pro cleaner for years until she retired. When she retired she started going a bit mad and doing all sorts with the house so now I employ her for three hours a week on a Thursday to clean mine. I despised doing it to be honest. I don’t mind clutter at all and don’t get the accomplishment and joy my mum seems to get from it. I think she’s a proper weirdo.

I spent a lot of Sunday on the couch and most evenings to be honest. I can do things very fast because my house is clean, tidy and organised. It’s actually time saving to be this way.

Same - I'm actually quite a lazy person, haha.

She's just different to you. No need to use that language about her.

Ah, don't be mean. People get joy from all sorts of things.

Declutter!!! You don’t need half the amount of stuff you have. The less crap there is around, the less mess there will be. Get rid of clothes that don’t fit, books you don’t read, random paperwork, pens that don’t work. All that random shit builds up!

Declutter!!! You don’t need half the amount of stuff you have. The less crap there is around, the less mess there will be. Get rid of clothes that don’t fit, books you don’t read, random paperwork, pens that don’t work. All that random shit builds up!

@FleurDeFleur @tumblingdowntherabbithole I mean it as a term of endearment I love her very much even more now she cleans my house.

This is it. They prioritise tidyness over others things. It’s like anything in life it’s priorities, but that’s ok that you prioritise something different. I know someone when you talk about priorities it can sound a bit aggressive, but I just mean they chose to put cleaning and tidying above other ‘stuff’.

Yes, absolutely. I did them because they wouldn't have been done otherwise.

Q for the ones advising to de-clutter: don’t you end up buying new items that you previously owned? Or do you accept that out of say 10 items you get rid off, you might end up re-buying 1 but the cost is worth it for living in a tidier home?

I have a walk in wardrobe and there is mess but it's all clothes and it's all in there.

I have many boxes and pots around the house that are for odd bits that get sorted periodically.

I WFH so have built tidying and cleaning into my routine. As a result I do have a very neat house and I prefer this as I cannot really relax in mess. Dishes may not be done and that will be the worst of things.

I let one room at a time get messed up during school holidays and vow to tidy it when I know I will have chance. I like to take a picture of the room before and after. These pictures motivate me to do the bigger cleans next time.

I pay someone to do a deep clean once a month.

I only have one adult in the house and children are not close in age so it never gets to the state you describe. If it did I would have a weekly housekeeper/cleaner and consider this a worthwhile cost as it would be for my mental health.

My parents were very clean and tidy so I never liked to exist in mess. I'm not sure it's any good to grow up among mess?