To be fascinated by tidy people

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I’m just not tidy. Nor is my husband. We try. Actually very hard. We have two young children and a dog but there is literally stuff everywhere, all of the time.

I live in London, so we naturally have many parent friends right on our doorstep and there is a ‘drop in’ culture where we might wrap up a playground or common trip and head to each others houses.

Ours is not fit for that kind of spontaneity but others fling open their doors at any time and it’s like no one even lives there.

when conversations come up about chores, cleaning, tidiness, I recoil. They really are extremely tidy people and with young kids. You can’t mistake walking into a tidy persons house, it just feels, different.

The floors and sofa/furniture in our house just don’t look like theirs, even if you have a whip round and tidy you can tell.

So, tidy people, tell me, how do you do it. What are the tips. Was this nurture growing up in a tidy household? Or something you learned? AIBU to be ashamed my pram, car, house is always in need of a clean.

Whoever said tidy people spend all day tidying, couldn’t be more wrong. I’m am soooo lazy. I hate tidying. That’s why I keep my home tidy!

The more tidy you are the less tidying you do. If you own too much unnecessary stuff and you leave things to pile up and become disorderly, you will spend your life in mess that you are constantly trying to get on top of. Being tidy leaves more time and space to live your life.

Untidy, chaotic people see the effort it requires to sort out their mess and think that tidy people are putting in the same effort all day every day. I don’t need to tidy. My home is always tidy, that’s the point!

I’m tidy and I’m not a morning person. Thing is, if you’re a night owl, you can tidy before you go to bed. 😀

It can be a real shock to witness real mess. I work with someone who is lovely and good at her job. She always seems clean and presented well for work. One day she gave me a lift and I was so shocked to see the inside of her car that I will never go to her house!!! 🤣

I think the key is to regularly de-clutter. Less stuff = Less mess. Less clothes = Less laundry and so on.

I don't ever try to sell things, it's a lot of work, you don't usually get much and it's a road block to sorting your house. I give it to charity shops and they can make the money and use it for good. Also, stop buying anything that isn't completely necessary otherwise you will always have too much.

Watch a few decluttering shows in your sitting time, I find they help motivate me to declutter. Minimal Mom on youtube is quite extreme but may give you motivation to declutter, go back to her earlier videos.

Having less stuff and space to easily put things away easily (not squeeze them into an already stuffed space) makes it so much easier to keep things tidy. Also follow the "no wasted journey" rule. Every time you leave a room take what doesn't belong in there with you, going to the kitchen, take all mugs with you, going upstairs, take the laundry up and pack it away.

I'm not a naturally tidy person at all but decluttering and tidying little and often makes a huge difference. Set a timer for ten minutes a couple times during the day and get what you can done in that time, the ten minutes add up to a much more manageable home.

So? If you have cleaners you don't have to deep clean anymore and you have more time for tidying.

it's fine

but you are wrong in saying that tidying up is MY priority. I keep things tidy to be more efficient so I can concentrate on actual priorities, not waste time with random rubbish or house chores.

As the OMM says: "life is too short for housework".

The mess always seems to catch up with people. Not having to catch up with cleaning and tidying up means I have free time. It's blissful to know that after a week at work, I have a free weekend not cluttered by hours of catching up tidying up accumulating mess.

Whoever said tidy people spend all day tidying, couldn’t be more wrong. I’m am soooo lazy. I hate tidying. That’s why I keep my home tidy!

Exactly

I spent most of time at home watching TV on the sofa with various animals for company - I can't stand housework so I never let it build up.

But that is your priority. It’s nothing to be ashamed or feel criticised for.

I am not ashamed at all, but why do you insist on "priorities" when you got that completely wrong?

Does it make you feel better, to pretend you are too important or have better priorities to justify a mess that no one is accusing you of anyway?

Stop twisting the situation and try to describe MY life , it's so weird 😂

And yes, I have more a show-home than anything else, so I spend as little time t home as humanly possible. Big deal.

Im a minimalist to much clutter makes me ill.
I only have what i need and use.
I cant stand a place full of crap pitchers all over the walls units tables chairs etc.
And yes my home is spotless.

If your house is not tidy, first you need to ruthlessly declutter and then everything and I mean everything has to have a set place. And my kids have been tidying up ever since they were little (as much as they could). Again it helps if everything has a designated space.

For instance I don’t ’try on clothes’ in the bedroom. I have a fairly limited wardrobe, I take stuff out the night before, shower and put it on.

Day to day I have plenty of sit down time but there is a schedule. Get up and a list of jobs DH and I do. We run one load of laundry daily. It’s put away before bedtime. Post lunch with small ones, as soon as they napped I would tidy up. It can’t take more than 5 mins. In the evening before bath time, everyone tidies up together. Kids are old enough to clean their rooms. DH and I do the downstairs. So once kids are in bed we come down to a tidy downstairs.

Also lots of things are just done beforehand. Bags are packed, clothes out.

I have plenty of downtime but that is a result of training myself to make sure all the small stuff is done and we ruthlessly stick to a schedule and everyone chips in to help.

(BTW my kids are 9 and 13, almost 14 and help with all chores- laundry, dishwasher, hoovering, tidying, even some cooking. They can make their own breakfast although mostly I do, and the older one can make pizzas, pesto pasta and a basic curry and rice. I have two boys and want to make sure they don’t see chores as a ‘woman’s job’ and they do a job when they see it).

Because as they get older it's a nightmare to find stuff which is not helpful when trying to get to school/work

Also agree with the person who said that a tidy home is tidy because it is set up that way so it doesn’t need a ton of work. It’s a set of systems in place, things done in the same order, and so the house is fairly tidy at all times.

I don’t live in a minimalist home. Lots of books, musical instruments etc. We have a lot of stuff but it is all tidy if that makes sense. And certainly my house is clean.

Being tidy and being clean are two different things. I have a good friend whose house is full of clutter but it is very clean. I can’t remember my kitchen counter or a high chair (when the kids used one), or my floors ever being filthy for a prolonged period of time.

Never walk through or by a room empty handed. (Like if you are a waiter, you dont just go back to the kitchen to bring out more plates. You look at tables & remove dirty plates & empty bread baskets as you go.. it cuts your job in half.)
So if you go to the door, you move shoes in the middle of the room to the hall, & coming back you pick ip ditched swimming bag, & drop by the laundry area.
If you go upstairs always take stuff up & down. Every person who goes up must take up the stuff left on the stairs, like shoes/clean clothes/loo paper
Kids get jobs. Kids can tidy their stuff if they are told to.
Always s do the washing up immediately.
Everyone puts their dirty clothes in a basket…
Delegate!

Decluttering is the only way!

I'm naturally very tidy. However I really struggle now with a toddler, dog and 2 cats. It seems there is always something to tidy or clean. The only way you can be tidy is by putting the time to it everyday, have a schedule and stick to it and also tidy as you go and dont have too much stuff. But sometimes it just takes too much time

If it takes less than 5 minutes, do it now. I’ll always sort the kids nursery bags as soon as we’re home, otherwise it doesn’t get done until I’m rushing around the next morning. Ditto if we go out for the day, come back, immediately unpack lunchboxes etc.

Just means there’s never stuff hanging around but actually, there’s very few tasks like that that actually take more than 5 minutes!

Stuff like listing on Vinted etc I do as I go. If I notice a dress getting too small, I pop it on Vinted straightaway, so again stuff like that doesn’t build up!

Any time you go to another room, take something with you!
I always do this with washing, things that need to go back upstairs. It helps massively, and eventually you don’t even need to think about it.
It is really hard with young kids though, they are very messy!
During the day I do what I can when they are awake, and then reset things for the next day after bedtime.
I have a lot of stuff that needs organising / selling, and I am getting though it slowly. But mainly I have just accepted that while the children are very little (3 and 1) that I am going to be kind to myself and prioritise the things that can’t wait.

Too much stuff. For example all my ds clothes fit in a chest of drawers, each drawer is less than half full so 5 year old can easily see what he has, get clothing out and put away easily.

At my Brothers house they have drawers, wardrobes, shelving and all absolutely rammed with clothing. So much clothing for toddlers and small child that they will outgrow with hardly any wear and it’s left ontop as no space in drawers.

Your example of swim bags and nursery bags to sort is just delay tactics. I would always bring swim bag straight in, empty as dirty and wet stuff into machine or basket, and let anything else like floats air otherwise they could go moldy before next use. Nursery bag I would always empty asap as you never know if they have left a dirty bag with soiled pants or nappies etc, plus old food pots.

Yes whole point of this thread is that I find these houses fascinating! I by no means live in a tip. We have a cleaner once a week, we keep on top of it but we certainly find it a dull time job and losing battle. Our house is no show home.

I was untidy. My husband is neat and tidy. Life is so much better when you’re tidy. You can find things quickly. Clothes aren’t crumpled. Toys are organised. Once it’s all organised and tidy, it takes moments more to put things away rather than dumping them. Tidying away before you go out or to bed makes life easier in the end. Try it til it becomes second nature. It’s not hard and life is easier.

As much storage as possible.
Get rid of anything you don’t use - no “just in case”
Take something upstairs every time you go
Everything needs a home to go back to - no clutter

Put stuff away straight away. Throw away what you don’t need and you need good storage

It’s because I find it so dull that I never let it build up into a massive task. By building it into my day, it’s just normal and doesn’t become so boring or overwhelming.

Like when I’m waiting for the kettle to boil or my toast to pop, I put on laundry or wipe down the sides, or put the dishes away. After my shower I’ll automatically rinse down the glass, and I’ll rinse and clean the sink after doing my teeth - it’s part of the task rather than an extra “job” if that makes sense.