I want to start by saying my partner will always put my wishes first, but I do specifically have to ask him….
My partner and I are travelling to another part of the UK (about 5 hour drive) to visit my family. He’s only met them once as we don’t get there often.
It’s a close cousin’s 50th and a few people are driving/flying down for a long weekend. We’ll stay in a hotel and I’ve paid for DP and I to stay somewhere quite nice.
On one of the days we’re all going for a lunch buffet, a drive away from where my family live. The buffet was my choice as I loved the place when I was younger. We’ll make a day of it with the group while we’re out.
DP is known to hate buffets, and I didn’t think much of telling him “you don’t have to come if you don’t want”.
To be honest I thought he’d come along anyway.
He told me last night that not only was he not coming, he was planning to see a (single) female friend that he used to work with, who happens to live nearby. We’ll be gone a lot of the day so he said he’d “hang out with her for the day” apparently. I’ve never met her and actually never even heard of her
I’m pretty pissed off to be honest. I don’t like the optics of having to tell my family he isn’t coming at all (although originally I told him it was fine), but particularly to spend a day with this woman I’ve never even heard off, who is single by all accounts. And it’s worsened by the fact we rarely see my family and only have a few days with them.
He doesn’t have a jealous bone in this body so it literally wouldn’t cross his mind that this would be an issue. Nor would he give two hoots if I skipped something I didn’t feel like doing with his family.
AIBU to tell him I’ve changed my mind and I’d like him to join us? Or at least tell him I’m uncomfortable with his choice of alternative activity.
He’s never given me any reason not to trust him and he tends to always put my wishes first. This just won’t have occurred to him as an issue.