To be sick of people looking down on the town I live in?

[Beboopbadoopie]

I'm 40 and have lived here for 10 years, before I had kids and after (I have 2 under 5) and recently we've randomly bumped into several old school friends in different places and when we say where we live they say something like, 'oh really?' and one person even said 'why!?' and another told me its a dive! It's happened lots in the past too. Where we live is not terrible, it's just the worst looking town locally (live in a very pretty area) and the high street is pretty much dead. I think people think it's rough but I've noticed a lot of posts about crime in other 'nicer' local towns so feel it's kind of a similar level (I have never felt unsafe here but there's the odd shop break in or smashed shop windows but nothing major and I've noticed these incidents in nicer towns nearby too)

We bought here because it's a lot cheaper than everywhere else (for a reason it seems!)We renovated our house so we are in a good position financially now which means I only have to work part time and am around more with the kids which I want. We have a lovely house, amazing neighbours, a great park and leisure centre around the corner, 3 good cafes (not loads but better than nothing), a great library for the kids, several supermarkets, a train station to that goes directly to major cities.

I'm getting pretty fed up with the negativity from other people because it makes me feel a bit shit, and I'm bringing my kids up here and that's what people are going to think when they say where they live and I don't want people to look down on them. I have thought of moving but feel it's an extreme reaction and also we'd have to double our mortgage. How can I stop it from bothering me? It's so annoying!

oh yes those Derbyshire Dales are just hideous.

My home town had the dubious honour of being dubbed “the second most miserable place to live in the UK” a few years ago. It is a shithole…but there are a few pretty areas, it’s surrounded by countryside, there’s a fair bit of interesting history, and quick easy access to the nearest major city. Any place is what you make of it, and if you’re happy in your home that’s all that matters!

I agree, OP. We live rurally, and here if you don't live city or beach you're looked down upon. My DB was here last weekend, commenting he 'only saw two methheads'. Next day in the news was a horrific incident in his area. My BIL constantly comments nasty things, too.

People always put our city down, but there's an increasing number of people moving here bcause it is affordable & traffic isn't as bad as the cities & major coastal areas.

I also remember we have paid our 'cheap' house off & have built good pension. Both our siblings have hefty mortgages & DB has almost no pension. I've just learned to tell people to stop putting down where I live or making comments about their location they can't hide from. Stops them pretty quickly.

Try and ignore them .

I was told about people being snobby about the hospitals they choose for their babies to be born in too I mean WTF !!!!!
As it appears on the passport and is a talking point !!!!

Peterborough ?

Agree wholeheartedly - people make a place

Lordy - that’s like living in Hell’s least attractive postcode…

Read Mel Robbin’s’ book ‘Let them’ . The theory is that is helps you stop caring what other people think or do .

might help you…

My area had a negative stigma growing up and it affected me a lot, to the point I would always claim the adjacent area that has a better reputation. I live in London so “good” and “bad” areas are juxtaposed in clusters in the city. Fast forward to today when it’s now a sought after place to live and I cannot even afford a house here. I just moved from another area that has a longstanding bad rep but I mostly loved it, especially the sense of community, and the adult me would have a clapback for anyone trying to talk shit about where.

It sounds like you love where you live so keep on enjoying it and work on building a sense of pride in where you are. You don’t want your children to pick up on any feelings of shame from you. Next time anyone says anything just yawn pointedly or say “don’t worry I won’t be inviting you over so you don’t need to worry about where I live hun”.

Who made it mandatory to list reasons and justify why you wouldn't want to live somewhere?!

YOU have interpreted me saying I wouldn't want to live in the NE as meaning I think 'the whole thing is a total shit hole'. I haven't said or implied any such thing, you seem to have a massive chip about it though tbh.

London would be my last choice to live, it’s not for me but I haven’t wrote off living in the whole of the southern half of England
Good for you. I have though. I wouldn't want to live in London or the 'Southern half' of England any more than i'd want to live in the NE of England so i'm totally happy to write off any thought of me ever living there!

Try being from Dundee…

(I wouldn’t change it 😎)

I think you like what you like and that’s how it should be, but on a post about being open minded about where people choose to live and not judging you joined in saying you wouldn’t want to live there either. Personally I would have just read it, thought that someone really likes living in the NE and think good for them in finding their happy place and move on. Not join in with the NE bashing, it just reiterates the OP’s post

There are far worse places in Scotland!

I would tell your so called friends, they couldn't possibly move into your area, as they would definitely lower the tone. As you mentioned, you are in a happy relationship, doing well financially, my guess is none of these wannabes are not doing aswell as you, so the only way they can spill their jealousy is to be nasty to you...Fur coat and no knickers brigade comes to mind. Tell them you no longer want to be associated with them, or to shorten it, tell them to f--k off....

Well I know that but the nicknames abound anyway.

Scumdee
Dungdee
Dumpdee

etc.

Central belt snobbery, if you ask me 😜

Bognor or LA?

Ha ha, yes, the French definitely do!

The thing is, OP, the thread could go on for 20 pages, but all anyone really wants to know is that the town is. Usually the OP relents around 5 posts and gives the pertinent info. Sad to see you haven’t yet.
Could you not just have name changed and then name the town?

But I digress.
Don’t stress about what anyone thinks. If you have a nice house with nice neighbours, good schools and generally feel safe and happy , why would you even contemplate moving.

I can confirm that our London crack den neighbours were considerably less trouble than the yacht-owning surgeons we live next to now. Genuinely.

How to tell the world that you have never been to the Midlands without stating it explicitly. Examples in the East Midlands that immediately spring to mind are the Peak District and all the lovely villages and towns in the area, Stamford, Melton Mowbray, Oakham, some lovely parts of Northamptonshire and Nottinghamshire. In the West Midlands, the Malverns, Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwick Castle, Cannock Chase, Lichfield much of Shropshire are lovely places. There are many more interesting places l haven't mentioned. There is good and bad everywhere. My home city (not where I live now) is Norwich and it is rightly considered one of the most beautiful cities in the country. However, even Norwich has its less salubrious areas.

I grew up in Cippenham

How is Cippenham pronounced, @Ilovegerardway ? Every time I go through Slough (which isn't very often, ti be fair,) I wonder if it's a hard or soft C, when i see it on signs, as I've never actually heard anyone say it out loud.

Actually I have two friends there and they have often said how much they like living there. My daughter has a friend who is buying a flat there with her partner. It’s just so tedious to keep hearing places being dismissed like this. Have you even read this thread?

It’s pronounced Sippenham. My sister lived there, and I have lived in Slough and Langley. Apart from having one car stolen and another broken into I liked living there. Close to Windsor and Eton and London for socialising. Happy days.

I hate to join in on the guessing but…

Totton?

Thank you