To be sick of people looking down on the town I live in?

[Beboopbadoopie]

I'm 40 and have lived here for 10 years, before I had kids and after (I have 2 under 5) and recently we've randomly bumped into several old school friends in different places and when we say where we live they say something like, 'oh really?' and one person even said 'why!?' and another told me its a dive! It's happened lots in the past too. Where we live is not terrible, it's just the worst looking town locally (live in a very pretty area) and the high street is pretty much dead. I think people think it's rough but I've noticed a lot of posts about crime in other 'nicer' local towns so feel it's kind of a similar level (I have never felt unsafe here but there's the odd shop break in or smashed shop windows but nothing major and I've noticed these incidents in nicer towns nearby too)

We bought here because it's a lot cheaper than everywhere else (for a reason it seems!)We renovated our house so we are in a good position financially now which means I only have to work part time and am around more with the kids which I want. We have a lovely house, amazing neighbours, a great park and leisure centre around the corner, 3 good cafes (not loads but better than nothing), a great library for the kids, several supermarkets, a train station to that goes directly to major cities.

I'm getting pretty fed up with the negativity from other people because it makes me feel a bit shit, and I'm bringing my kids up here and that's what people are going to think when they say where they live and I don't want people to look down on them. I have thought of moving but feel it's an extreme reaction and also we'd have to double our mortgage. How can I stop it from bothering me? It's so annoying!

Finding somewhere to live where you feel happy, safe, and enjoy life is gold dust, OP. Congratulate yourself on finding it. The snobs are probably still desperately searching...

Why would you need to have covered every square mile of it to have that opinion though?

I wouldn't want to live in the NE either. I don't need to see any more of it than I already have to know that to be true.

Fuck’em. I live in an area that has a reputation for being rough. I’ve lived in much posher areas and my neighbours here are the nicest, kindest and most neighbourly I’ve ever had. Not just the ones I chat to every day, but I was involved in a scary situation a couple of years ago and the number of people who ran out to help me was the only proof I’ve ever needed that living here is the right decision. People who care about your postcode are not worth your time OP!

Oldham? My parents came from there. They loved it. They left in 1948 though so probably wouldn’t recognise it today, even if they were still alive.

I’m in the same situation OP. A lot of people feel entitled to slag it off but most of them don’t live here or have any first hand experience, it’s all rumour and reputation. It’s like the sibling rule when you’re kids, I can spout shit about them but no one else can. It might be a shithole (in some peoples eyes) but it’s our shithole, don’t mouth off about it in front of me.

He's from Crawley, which is a shit hole lol

@RubySquid , that one is expensive because it's a pretty estate.
The Slough one I linked is in a fairly rough part of Slough.

Oh. Is she not saying the town? What’s the point?

#CroydonMassive.

I’ve travelled and lived all over the world. Still proud of my hometown!

@Beboopbadoopie out of interest, is it Aylesbury?

Is it Neath?

I completely get this! I live somewhere known as a shithole, but I’m so close to really stunning expensive areas. Our dream Euromillions house is only 20 minutes up the road, that’s how close we are to the ridiculously fancy areas.

We have lovely neighbours, more house than we know what to do with, and excellent schools right around the corner. Yes you do have to be a bit careful at night, but even the local dealers that hang out in the alleyway with their big scary dogs have always been really polite to me when I’ve had to walk past them!

My friends all live in traditionally very posh areas - one of them is having an absolute nightmare time of it right now because of antisocial neighbours. My neighbours are absolutely wonderful. And yet I’m still the one that gets looked down on purely because of the name of the town.

Its not a pretty estate. Its the 2nd cheapest 2 bed anywhere near the station.

read that back to yourself, you’ve judged a whole region based on some bits you’ve seen. I mean how ridiculously narrow minded are you 😂

Talking as someone who lives in the same town as Romesh, as you say this is a small town with few cafes and supermarkets, could it be Horley, or my other thought was Hassocks

I live somewhere that is seen as shit on here but most places are seen as shit here anyway unless it's a leafy village

Redhill has a nice park, a few cafes and several supermarkets too.

I think it's you that needs to read the chain of messages back (and practice your reading comprehension). There's no judgement in my post, you've added in layers of meaning that simply weren't there.

Do you think every single person should want to live exactly where you do? Thats...odd. Why would you think that? Surely you must realise other people will have their own preferences for where they want to live?

Nothing wrong with Worthing.

I’m not saying you should want to live here it’s that you haven’t even mentioned once for what reason or why it’s not to your taste. If you said Newcastle isn’t for me, I don’t like city living, absolutely fine. If you like modern architecture and don’t like historical buildings, then say I wouldn’t choose Durham, totally understandable. Or if you find rural living too isolating then you might not choose Alnwick for example. What you did was write off a whole region, literally thousands of square miles but it seems like you just haven’t seen it all to know, ‘well I wouldn’t want to live there’ like the whole thing is a total shit hole. London would be my last choice to live, it’s not for me but I haven’t wrote off living in the whole of the southern half of England

Why do people always assume jealousy?

I don't slag off London, but I wouldn't choose to live there even if I could afford to. I grew up in outer London and worked in central London for over two years.

I don't miss it. I love to visit, but am glad to get home. I find London too loud, too busy, too dirty and too crowded. The only thing I am jealous about is the fantastic public transport in London.

I’m another shit town dweller who loves it. My DC have done really well at schools here, I’ve made lots of lovely friends and there’s loads to do.

No, the place is pronounced like plough to rhyme with cow, 'sloff' pronunciation is for 'shedding dead skin' meaning.

Born and still live in Birmingham - I get it 😆

I think it’s an awesome place to live but many disagree.

Paddock Wood?