To be sick of people looking down on the town I live in?

[Beboopbadoopie]

I'm 40 and have lived here for 10 years, before I had kids and after (I have 2 under 5) and recently we've randomly bumped into several old school friends in different places and when we say where we live they say something like, 'oh really?' and one person even said 'why!?' and another told me its a dive! It's happened lots in the past too. Where we live is not terrible, it's just the worst looking town locally (live in a very pretty area) and the high street is pretty much dead. I think people think it's rough but I've noticed a lot of posts about crime in other 'nicer' local towns so feel it's kind of a similar level (I have never felt unsafe here but there's the odd shop break in or smashed shop windows but nothing major and I've noticed these incidents in nicer towns nearby too)

We bought here because it's a lot cheaper than everywhere else (for a reason it seems!)We renovated our house so we are in a good position financially now which means I only have to work part time and am around more with the kids which I want. We have a lovely house, amazing neighbours, a great park and leisure centre around the corner, 3 good cafes (not loads but better than nothing), a great library for the kids, several supermarkets, a train station to that goes directly to major cities.

I'm getting pretty fed up with the negativity from other people because it makes me feel a bit shit, and I'm bringing my kids up here and that's what people are going to think when they say where they live and I don't want people to look down on them. I have thought of moving but feel it's an extreme reaction and also we'd have to double our mortgage. How can I stop it from bothering me? It's so annoying!

I grew up in a new town that people enjoy slating. They obviously don't have experience living inner city like I do now. I miss the space, convenience, green areas and comparative safety and lack of crime. wherever you live there will be arsehole teenagers and boarded up shops you'd think they were living in a war zone the way they trill on about how awful it is. It's not.

Harlow?

I live near two towns which have a reputation of being very rough. However I’ve found that they are the friendliest towns I’ve ever been in! I’ve also never witnessed any trouble in either of them.

People the same about my town it’s been in one of those videos of worse places to live. I hate those videos a lot of shops never reopened after lockdown but a lot of those shops are now filled with small independent buisnesses and the main employer in our town is investing in our town centre. Ok it’s not the best place to live not much to do etc. But crime is low compared to other areas of the uk and most people know each other or if you don’t know them personally you know someone they know. I’ve lived here all my life so I guess I’m a bit biased. But there are a lot of beautiful places in our area to visit. The lakes isn’t far from us.

I think the idea of setting up a website promoting the town sounds fab! i know you said it in jest but i'd think more about it. You've stumbled of something really precious there.

Enjoy your town, your fabulous neighbours, great school & extra cash in your pocket watch the 'Jones's', running around in their 'posh' town with little money to spare whilst working all hrs away from their dc because they have to. Pls don't relocate, let your kids see you as a clear thinking parent who makes good decisions not based on crowd mentality.

must be Worthing?

I grew up in Swindon and hated it. I moved away and when I had DC I moved to our posh market town.
I spent twenty years being gossiped about and my family racially abused.
We're now back in a rural Swindon village and for once I feel free. No school gate mums, no lies about our finances and my son loves the super cars on our road. Swindon has poor shopping but most people use the designer village.
People also say our hospital is rubbish, however they recently saved my life.
Tbh prices are going up massively. Not much for families under £500k.

He comes from Crawley. Which is a new town with its own issues.

Especially if you live in an old pit village in the NE 🙄

I worked there back in the day. We had one of the most deprived wards in England (in New Addington) - in the top 1% in the country - and one of the least deprived - Sanderstead - in the top 1% as well.

Yeovil or Aldershot?

@FenderStrat , bore off.

@HairyToity , is it Rhyl? I was reading an article about it earlier. Looks like a lovely beach.

@Ilovegerardway , I like it here, and it seems I'm not the only one because the new flats are popular.

@RubySquid , not if you consider how easy it is to get to London. This is an example of what you'd get for £350K.
2 bedroom end of terrace Slough
That one's abut 12 mins walk from the Elizabeth Line station.

@GiveDogBone , it's a shithole. About 2.5 miles from Windsor and Eton. Fast links to London. Handy for the M4 and M40. Grammar schools. Nice parks. Not far from the Chilterns, not far from an airport...
It's Sluff not Sloff.

I think if it bothers you, at some level you aren’t entirely happy being where you are. I’ve found that in all honesty, if I’m getting triggered, it’s because it does bother me. The question and you need to do some soul searching is, is this purely people’s opinions or is there something in you that is bothered? I went through a stage where people made unkind comments about my house and they were rude. But the comments bothered me because I felt sensitive about what was being commented on, so I addressed the issues. I’ve reached a level now where criticism wouldn’t bother me or trigger me because I feel okay with it now. I know it’s different from the area you live in, but I’d say maybe try and step back and do some soul searching on why the comments upset you. Is it because you feel the same deep down or is it because you piece a very high value on those people’s opinions?

DS went to the NE for Uni and never came back-as did his now fiancee.

we love it-it has so much to offer I admit he has a better life there than he could possibly have down here!!!! All his friends living in london come up and are very jealous of his lovely life.

Care to share why and how you have possibly covered every square mile to know it all? I mean we don’t want you here anyway but I’m still curious

I grew up in Cippenham, went to an excellent grammar school. I certainly had no complaints about Slough. You’ve got Windsor just down the road, Burnham Beeches. I liked living there. I would still move back to that area if I could but there’s now way in hell I could afford to live there now.

I was a bit shocked at Slough high street when I visited last year for the first time in 15 years. But, it’s no different from the decline of every other high street. It’s just a shock as when I grew up, and lived there as a young adult, it was so bustling and vibrant. Now it’s just a ghost town with betting shops like loads of other high streets.

Leave them to their ignorance

Stoke on Trent?

I feel your pain, OP. I’m from a very ‘unfashionable’ town, too, and I get sick to the back teeth of the kind of remarks you describe.

I’m getting quite bolshy in my old age and last time I ward such a comment, I asked if they thought such things about me, too. Soon shut them up. Well, after they finished stammering!

Well I’m from Wigan which is universally acknowledged as shit.
There used to be an advert that said ‘Would they wear it in Wigan?’ as a joke.
What people don’t realise is it’s friendly, fun and has much more green spaces that you would expect.
Try not to take their comments to heart, it sounds like you are on to a good thing if you have a lovely house in an affordable area.

We get this, but to be fair another local town attracts even worse condemnation.

I just sit tight knowing my.hoyse was and still is a bargain, and I love the area so all good. They can keep their snobbery which they are paying through the nose for. 😁

Can't comment unless I know the town name.

Further out from Elizabeth line

@Ilovegerardway , the high street has pretty much gone. We had M&S, BHS, Debenhams, C&A, River Island, Dorothy Perkins, New Look, Bay, Next, Richards, H&M, Gap, Wilko, Woolworths, Gap, Blackwells, ...
Now we just have JD Sports, Foot Locker, Primark and TKMaxx.
There are some shops on the retail park but I never go there.

It’s such a shame. In the 90s/2000s, it was fantastic with all the shops and the big cinema right in the middle. It was sad to see it as it is now, it actually made Dudley, where I live now, look good in comparison!