To be sick of people looking down on the town I live in?

[Beboopbadoopie]

I'm 40 and have lived here for 10 years, before I had kids and after (I have 2 under 5) and recently we've randomly bumped into several old school friends in different places and when we say where we live they say something like, 'oh really?' and one person even said 'why!?' and another told me its a dive! It's happened lots in the past too. Where we live is not terrible, it's just the worst looking town locally (live in a very pretty area) and the high street is pretty much dead. I think people think it's rough but I've noticed a lot of posts about crime in other 'nicer' local towns so feel it's kind of a similar level (I have never felt unsafe here but there's the odd shop break in or smashed shop windows but nothing major and I've noticed these incidents in nicer towns nearby too)

We bought here because it's a lot cheaper than everywhere else (for a reason it seems!)We renovated our house so we are in a good position financially now which means I only have to work part time and am around more with the kids which I want. We have a lovely house, amazing neighbours, a great park and leisure centre around the corner, 3 good cafes (not loads but better than nothing), a great library for the kids, several supermarkets, a train station to that goes directly to major cities.

I'm getting pretty fed up with the negativity from other people because it makes me feel a bit shit, and I'm bringing my kids up here and that's what people are going to think when they say where they live and I don't want people to look down on them. I have thought of moving but feel it's an extreme reaction and also we'd have to double our mortgage. How can I stop it from bothering me? It's so annoying!

I’m guessing Herne Bay ( although I’m guessing if it was a seaside town you’d have mentioned that )

Nobody would disagree that Slough (pronounced Sloff) is a shithole.

Haha don’t feel bad, I didn’t take it personally 😂. I grew up in Milnrow, just near the lake. I do miss it, I’m only a few miles away, still technically Rochdale but not.

It does get a bad rep and has been in the news for lots of the wrong reasons, doesn’t mean it is all bad like you say.

OL15?

John Betjeman wrote a poem about Slough
His daughter apologised about it after his death.

^^

Just say" there's no need to be rude.".

I can't think of any situation where I'd tell someone that where they lived was a dive.

I grew up in a commuter town that has a desirable reputation, but even living there you'd experience snobbery about which part you lived in. People living within Norsey Farm bit would soon let you know 😅

There are tons of towns that people get snobby about. I'm in Kidderminster. It's not the best but it's not the worst. It's near to beautiful countryside, relatively safe...it's got a few shops handy...nice canal, some lovely parks, and surrounding villages and forest nearby.

Tons more affordable than the south of the county but I get pitying looks from colleagues who live in Malvern...when Malvern too has it's issues. Malvern is lovely but Kidderminster certainly isn't terrible. Usually people are just in their bubble and don't know if they've not been.

And also, the town I grew up in was really no different to the next one on the train line, but has always been more expensive than it. Hometown does have a slightly better high street, but it's all a bit Emperor's Clothes

Who cares as long as you are happy. There’s a town quite near me that people feel like that about but there are some beautiful houses there & people move there to have a more comfortable lifestyle as it’s a bit cheaper. I wouldn’t worry at all what anyone thinks as long as it’s working for you. Live in your own bubble and then you’ll find it’s more peaceful

I live in London and bloody love it but everyone slags it off all the time. I literally filter it out now - I just think that I love it and they don't live here and if they did, they'd love it too.

Romesh is from Crawley.

ultimately they made the choice to not live in your area for whatever reason, just the same way you chose to not live somewhere cheaper. What’s a dealbreaker to them, doesn’t have to get under your skin

I think the slagging off of London is pure jealousy. I always find people who do this to be small minded people from the middle of fucking nowhere - who honestly cares what they think?

@LytesCarey yep - I think just as the issue is for people saying ‘up north’ when York isn’t Blackburn , exactly the same is true ‘Down south’ - Kingston on Thames isn’t the same thing as Trowbridge

Just ignore these people or just say it might have a bad reputation but we love it everyone is friendly and not snobby like some places. But I personally would ignore them every area has bad stuff happen.

Yeah but Croydon is a shithole

No, M24 which is crazy written down as it’s a Manchester postcode 😂.

I would move to OL15, and I think I was technically born there? Birch Hill… Grew up in OL16

Ah yes Malvern.We still live in a large Northern town with an industrial heritage.Yes the town centre has deteriorated but the outlying villages are really buzzy now with cafes and independent shops and we have some glorious countryside on our doorstep. Yet a couple that we knew in our teens and as young adults and have moved around and settled in Malvern came back for a funeral and we went out for a meal.They spent the evening being so disparaging and rude and basically saying Malvern was so much better.Tbh made me and DH glad to see the back of them.

It's just human nature OP, snarking about someone's 'less than' is the easiest way for such people to feel better about their own, secret, shortcomings. Enjoy your home, your family, your life. Nowhere is perfect.

People say rude things about the whole of Essex. I dont care, it's actually quite funny, they obviously haven't seen much of it.

Ha.... Yeah well, it isn't without issues. That lass off x factor was from the rough bit wasn't she? What's her name....the swagger jagger one? She's always listed at the local celeb 😂

Has anyone listened to lovely Mark Steele and his podcast where he goes to a town and does a show? He's brilliant at laughing with people about places but never at the place in a mean way. I love it. The Malvern one was pretty good 😊

I get it OP. I live in a coastal town regularly described as a shithole on here and I don’t see it in the same way. My kids have spent most of the summer on the beach or at the numerous parks and events that have been put on over the holidays. All within walking distance for two toddlers and it’s amazing.

Just say, 'I'm so glad you don't live here, you'd bring it down even further! You don't need people like that anyway. There are 'grotty bits and good bits in every town. I'd rather live among the salt of the earth than snobs in sinking sands.

People do this to me as I live on the border of a deprived area which is a massive council estate. We live in a village next to it.
But we have a great house, live next to a large park and have great transport links.
when people visit us for the first time they are surprised how nice our area is.
I don’t care what people think or say. When they reply I say every area has its good and bad and we love living here.
That soon shuts then up.