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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have just left the pub?

110 replies

BouldersRocksStonesPebbles · 24/08/2025 16:50

On holiday. Sight seeing cut short to accommodate the football game this afternoon. It was something DH wanted to see, I would have enjoyed but wasn't fussed and he chose football over it, so it is what it is. I have told DH previously that I am sick of football dictating what we do and this time I said well maybe as we are away you can just miss this game? No.
So we get to the pub. DD is cranky as hasn't eaten. There's nothing there she really wants but settles on chips. We then have to move tables as the waitress comes over to our table and says it's booked at 5. I have no interest in the football and was going to enjoy a coffee and read my kindle.
DH says he's worried about the dogs we have left back at the air b n b . I say ok what do you want to do? No food order at this point. He said - almost in shock - well I am going to stay here! Do you want to go back and dog sit? Well no, not really but I cant be bothered with the bullshit about it so I get up and leave. Tbh I would have left anyway, I didn't want to eat and I am not interested in football. But it was the way he said it in shock like there was any option of him putting his worry for the dogs over his need to watch a football match. It's his dog that is the problem, not mine. My dog was quite happy sleeping on the sofa.
Anyway I had to go back in as I realized I didn't have the keys. And he refused to give them to me! And said he wouldn't give them to me if I was behaving in that manner, walking out and shaking my head (as once again, football comes first! And if I had stayed it would have escalated anyway with DD saying for me to leave to check the dogs so I just thought it's easier to go now. And if anything did happen or would be my fault anyway.). After repeating a few times after he was shaving a go at me about my behavior "are you refusing to give me the keys?" he eventually gave in and gave them to me so I am back here at the b and b.
Was ibu?

OP posts:
Glitchymn1 · 24/08/2025 16:52

I’d go off with the dog, seems like it would be more fun.

InterestedDad37 · 24/08/2025 16:54

You don't have to put up with that behaviour. 👍

BouldersRocksStonesPebbles · 24/08/2025 16:55

I don't have the strength walk his dog.

OP posts:
NoSoupForU · 24/08/2025 16:55

Football is 2 hours out of however long your trip is. I can't really understand how it can't be accommodated amongst the things that you want to do.

I'm a football fan, as is my husband. We support different teams and find no issue whatsoever in incorporating each other's matches into our schedule.

Doseofreality · 24/08/2025 16:56

I feel sorry for your child.

BouldersRocksStonesPebbles · 24/08/2025 16:57

I have no issue incorporating football I to the schedule at all. That wasn't the problem. It was the way he spoke to me?

OP posts:
legsekeven · 24/08/2025 16:59

It isn’t just two hours though! It becomes the focal point of the day and only one person wants to watch it. Would it really be such a problem for him just once to miss it and check the scores online

Ablondiebutagoody · 24/08/2025 17:00

Why go to the pub in the first place if you weren't up for it? You and DD could have done something else.

ZippyPeer · 24/08/2025 17:03

I would be upset by your DH behaviour.

Football is just football, a form of entertainment like fashion or movies. I find people who don't realise that almost embarrassing, like seriously, why are you attaching such emotion to this

Dartmoorcheffy · 24/08/2025 17:04

Football is important to my dp and he will watch a match while we are on holiday. I will go off and do my own thing. Why didn't you?

Why do you have a dog that you are unable to control around a child?

DiscoBob · 24/08/2025 17:05

You should've just gone with DD somewhere else or home as soon as he declared he wished to watch the game. Ignoring what he said about the dogs.

He acted an arse about the keys though. That was just childish and awkward.

merryhouse · 24/08/2025 17:06

Really you should have said "oh ok then I'll keep sitting here" and bought some more chips.

If he's worried about the dog he knows what he can do.

If you can't walk it, what good would you going back have done anyway? Did he think they were going to wreck the place?

WeWantTheFinestWines · 24/08/2025 17:06

Missing a game is never an option. Especially not when the season has just started. If you knew his team was playing, who not make plans to do something fun with your kid away from his grumpiness? Never assume that a game can just be missed because you're not interested.

BouldersRocksStonesPebbles · 24/08/2025 17:06

DD is a huge football fan too. So she was happy to watch. I was happy to sit and read.

OP posts:
Dartmoorcheffy · 24/08/2025 17:07

And why are you leaving your dogs behind all day while you go out sight seeing. Surely you should take them with you. I don't know any air bnb which would allow you to leave your dogs there while you are out.

tripleginandtonic · 24/08/2025 17:08

ZippyPeer · 24/08/2025 17:03

I would be upset by your DH behaviour.

Football is just football, a form of entertainment like fashion or movies. I find people who don't realise that almost embarrassing, like seriously, why are you attaching such emotion to this

To you it is.

itsgettingweird · 24/08/2025 17:08

I was on his side until he refused to give you the keys.

Even if your reaction was OTT and negative you are allowed to leave if you want. And you’re allowed to be annoyed - although I don’t see a couple of hours in a pub with football in as an issue.

EveningSpread · 24/08/2025 17:08

I started off thinking there’s no goodwill in your relationship. I ended thinking there’s active disdain. (I’d disdain any man who acted like a selfish toddler over football, but sadly it sounds like he doesn’t like you much either.)

Lmnop22 · 24/08/2025 17:09

He was being an arse about the keys but why bother going with them to a pub on holiday just to sulk when you wanted to go and do some sightseeing?

Go and sightsee, why must you always be together?

Sunshineismyfavourite · 24/08/2025 17:09

My DH loves F1 and if there'a a race on when we are away we always find a bar where it is screening so he can watch it. I don't particularly enjoy it but am happy to sit with a couple of drinks for an afternoon. I think it would depend on how long the holiday was for; if it were a few days and one of the afternoons was spent watching sport then I might not feel so accommodating. I enjoy doing things on holiday that he doesn't particularly like visiting galleries etc which he is happy to do because I want to.

I think the real problem here is your DH behaving like an idiot and not giving you the keys - I would be wondering if this is typical behaviour from him?

BouldersRocksStonesPebbles · 24/08/2025 17:13

Lmnop22 · 24/08/2025 17:09

He was being an arse about the keys but why bother going with them to a pub on holiday just to sulk when you wanted to go and do some sightseeing?

Go and sightsee, why must you always be together?

I wasn't sulking? Quite up for sitting and reading with a coffee c:

The holidays is few days. They came up a day or so before me.

And again it wasn't about the football.

OP posts:
Livingthebestlife · 24/08/2025 17:14

I'm not a lover of football but if we're away during a match the pub is usually chosen soon after arrival ,whoever has the best screen and we all go and eat , drink and watch. It's easy getting caught up in the excitement of it. He should have given you the keys was he joking with you ?

Whaleandsnail6 · 24/08/2025 17:16

I think its a bit of a mountain out of a molehill...both dd and dh wanted to watch the football, you were the only one who didn't

You were going to leave anyway as you weren't interested in the football (" I would have left anyway, I didn't want to eat and I am not interested in football. ")

You stormed out of the pub, shaking your head at the fact "football comes first " but you were the only one who didn't want to watch it? The other 2 people did.

Yeah, he should have given you the keys but you should have done what you wanted instead of going to the pub in the first place. Then you wouldn't have been there and he would have had to come up with something for the dogs himself as you wouldn't have been there to ask.

BouldersRocksStonesPebbles · 24/08/2025 17:19

I would have left anyway as in I would have left for the dogs if he asked but it was the surprised shocked there's no other option than me to be excluded again. Which is an ongoing issue with DH and DD.

OP posts:
lazyarse123 · 24/08/2025 17:19

He's a twat. You should have just sat back down and said OK. If he was worried about his dog he could have gone to check.
I may be biased because I hate football and would have organised something else for me to do.

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