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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have just left the pub?

110 replies

BouldersRocksStonesPebbles · 24/08/2025 16:50

On holiday. Sight seeing cut short to accommodate the football game this afternoon. It was something DH wanted to see, I would have enjoyed but wasn't fussed and he chose football over it, so it is what it is. I have told DH previously that I am sick of football dictating what we do and this time I said well maybe as we are away you can just miss this game? No.
So we get to the pub. DD is cranky as hasn't eaten. There's nothing there she really wants but settles on chips. We then have to move tables as the waitress comes over to our table and says it's booked at 5. I have no interest in the football and was going to enjoy a coffee and read my kindle.
DH says he's worried about the dogs we have left back at the air b n b . I say ok what do you want to do? No food order at this point. He said - almost in shock - well I am going to stay here! Do you want to go back and dog sit? Well no, not really but I cant be bothered with the bullshit about it so I get up and leave. Tbh I would have left anyway, I didn't want to eat and I am not interested in football. But it was the way he said it in shock like there was any option of him putting his worry for the dogs over his need to watch a football match. It's his dog that is the problem, not mine. My dog was quite happy sleeping on the sofa.
Anyway I had to go back in as I realized I didn't have the keys. And he refused to give them to me! And said he wouldn't give them to me if I was behaving in that manner, walking out and shaking my head (as once again, football comes first! And if I had stayed it would have escalated anyway with DD saying for me to leave to check the dogs so I just thought it's easier to go now. And if anything did happen or would be my fault anyway.). After repeating a few times after he was shaving a go at me about my behavior "are you refusing to give me the keys?" he eventually gave in and gave them to me so I am back here at the b and b.
Was ibu?

OP posts:
HeronPond · 24/08/2025 19:01

This relationship sounds spectacularly joyless and full of mutual irritation.

Petitchat · 24/08/2025 19:05

Another manchild.

And yet another woman married to one......

Rosscameasdoody · 24/08/2025 19:07

NoSoupForU · 24/08/2025 16:55

Football is 2 hours out of however long your trip is. I can't really understand how it can't be accommodated amongst the things that you want to do.

I'm a football fan, as is my husband. We support different teams and find no issue whatsoever in incorporating each other's matches into our schedule.

Bully for you, but it seems football dictates everything for the OP. And the issue here is her DH’s behaviour.

starfishmummy · 24/08/2025 19:09

Dartmoorcheffy · 24/08/2025 17:07

And why are you leaving your dogs behind all day while you go out sight seeing. Surely you should take them with you. I don't know any air bnb which would allow you to leave your dogs there while you are out.

I thought the same - all the ones I've seen say dogs shoukd not be left alone and should not be on the fir iture

SummerFrog25 · 24/08/2025 19:15

ChopsyHatesFungus · 24/08/2025 18:58

He sounds a right dick.

I can’t understand people who go away on holiday then prioritise spending time staring at a TV watching some blokes kick a ball around. What a waste!

If you plan on staying with him then you need to organise your own entertainment whenever he checks out. Otherwise, you’ll be rehashing this argument every weekend and holiday.

What a shame you are unable to understand people enjoy different things than you do. It must be very limiting.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 24/08/2025 19:16

He wanted you to go and look after his dog but refused to give you the key to enable you to do this. He’s a cunt.

SummerFrog25 · 24/08/2025 19:21

starfishmummy · 24/08/2025 19:09

I thought the same - all the ones I've seen say dogs shoukd not be left alone and should not be on the fir iture

The OP has already said this AirBnB allows dogs to be left and as they do, probably allows the dogs on the furniture with a throw on it. But it's totally irrelevant to the OP's thread anyway.

@BouldersRocksStonesPebbles if you're the poster I think you might be, just how much more are you going to take if this before you and your dog tell him & his dog it's over? DD. Can do 50/50 or whatever she wants. Why on earth did you want to spend the afternoon with that bellend He treats you like shit (whether you're that poster or not).

nomas · 24/08/2025 19:21

What a petulant pig he is. Is he always like that?

Start doing a lot less for him.

ruethewhirl · 24/08/2025 19:26

What is it with all these awful men lately? OP, YANBU in the slightest, and you wouldn't BU to leave this guy's sorry arse over this kind of behaviour. If my DH ever behaved like this I'd find it hard to continue loving him.

CountryMouse22 · 24/08/2025 19:28

BouldersRocksStonesPebbles · 24/08/2025 16:57

I have no issue incorporating football I to the schedule at all. That wasn't the problem. It was the way he spoke to me?

Leave him. You don't to want to be treated like this.

OonaStubbs · 24/08/2025 19:33

Why couldn't you have taken the dogs to the pub?

Cherrysoup · 24/08/2025 19:35

Indeed, petulant pig is very appropriate. What a selfish arsehole. Was watching the football planned? If you’re only there for the weekend, that’s a chunk of time taken out of your holiday, I’d have been really cross. And refusing to give you the keys when it would benefit the dogs to have someone with them? Utter arsehole.

Sounds like there’s more at play of football is a persistent issue and he and dd are siding against you? Not sure that’s correct but it comes across that way.

Vaxtable · 24/08/2025 19:38

I would simply pack my dog, my stuff and gone home. Edited after reading how old the child is

Then I would be reevaluating the relationship, it’s not on to assume you go home to look after the digs while they sit in the pub enjoying themselves, it’s your holiday as well

I think it’s very sad that football comes before anything else

BunnyVV · 24/08/2025 19:38

Maybe think ahead about the dogs when you’re planning the day? Why did it only occur to him once sat in a pub!!!???

MoominMai · 24/08/2025 19:40

Arran2024 · 24/08/2025 18:52

You left your dogs in a rental property and one was on the sofa!!

Not ok. And I say that as someone who has two large breed dogs. We take them on holiday. We would either have taken them to the pub or one of us would have stayed with them while the other went out.

Maybe OP had left one of their own rugs on said sofa for the dog to lay on beforehand?

Also, thats hardly the key concern of this thread is it where OP is upset and needing advice about herself and not unsolicited pet rental policies 🤦🏻‍♀️

Spookyspaghetti · 24/08/2025 19:41

WeWantTheFinestWines · 24/08/2025 17:06

Missing a game is never an option. Especially not when the season has just started. If you knew his team was playing, who not make plans to do something fun with your kid away from his grumpiness? Never assume that a game can just be missed because you're not interested.

Unless you have shares in the team then yes, it is just a game that can be missed. Nowadays, football is all about betting so only reason not to miss a game to spend one off time with family on holiday is if you are a gambling addict.

I have a relative who was very high up in a premier league club and it’s their way of life but they willingly misses a cup final for a family wedding because family is sacrosanct.

Duckyfondant · 24/08/2025 19:42

I picked you are being unreasonable, because you actually went back and looked after his dog. He was a selfish arse who couldn't ask nicely, and that's before the shit with the keys.

Piffle11 · 24/08/2025 19:43

Nowadays, football is all about betting so only reason not to miss a game to spend one off time with family on holiday is if you are a gambling addict

🤣🤣🤣

if you have placed a bet on a game, they will pay out whether you have watched the game or not!

Iamblossom · 24/08/2025 19:45

Football is irrelevant. He was rude, completely dismissive of you, unkind and an arse.

OonaStubbs · 24/08/2025 19:48

OP it sounds like you were huffing and puffing about having to sit in a pub and watch football while on holiday.

Cucy · 24/08/2025 19:57

And if I had stayed it would have escalated anyway with DD saying for me to leave to check the dogs so I just thought it's easier to go now. And if anything did happen or would be my fault anyway.

I’d be raging about him not handing the keys over but it does seem like you were being difficult.

In what way would it have escalated?
Even DD thought it was a good idea for you to leave, suggesting that you were the problem.

In future, if you dislike football so much and how DH and DD choose it over you.
Then let them get on with it and you go and do something that you enjoy.

Zucker · 24/08/2025 20:12

I don't think your husband likes you particularly much. It's up to you what to do about that.

likeafishneedsabike · 24/08/2025 20:14

Zempy · 24/08/2025 17:55

I would be on my way home with my dog and my DD.

DD is happily watching the match with chips.

Mini2025 · 24/08/2025 20:15

Your DH sounds obtuse. Like a pig. I would be very annoyed too.

Piffle11 · 24/08/2025 20:43

Zucker · 24/08/2025 20:12

I don't think your husband likes you particularly much. It's up to you what to do about that.

To be fair, it seems mutual.