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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister went nuts over a cup of coffee

509 replies

CrashBambiCoot · 24/08/2025 14:19

my sister visits my house around 3 times a week. Every time she comes she takes the piss out of my coffee calling it “half a cup of coffee” etc

She last visited Friday where I made her a coffee and she snapped “oh come on, fill it up for fucks sake” saying I’d only half filled the mug (I hadn’t).

This morning she turns up. I make coffee, as I was taking it into the living room she looks into the mugs and screams “half a cup of coffee”. I snap back “I don’t fill it to the top so it doesn’t get spilled! Nobody fills coffee right to the top” so she started dancing around me acting crazy shouting “ooo don’t spill it” etc before suddenly lunging at me and shouting in my face - coffee got spilt.

Now I’ve said I’m not making her coffee anymore. That’s it. Sick of the piss taking and ranting and raving. DH witnessed all this and basically joined in with her. She’s 42, DH is 50.

its not normal to fill coffee right to the top is it??? And the hysterics is certainly not normal is it?

OP posts:
Sharptonguedwoman · 25/08/2025 18:04

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 24/08/2025 14:30

It's not normal to fill it to the top, no.

But nor is it normal to leave it so short your sister and DH think you're giving them too little.

They'd be making their own damn coffee. Incredibly rude.

Bonkersbilly · 25/08/2025 18:05

Get a new one from Rent-a-Sister.

Youngcaza · 25/08/2025 18:06

Get her or your husband to make it next time she comes round, since they think they're so clever. Dont take that rubbish from either of them

Evaka · 25/08/2025 18:06

Gowlett · 24/08/2025 14:23

Glad it’s not just me! Solidarity, OP.

DH fills tea up, leaves the teabag in.

Then adds milk… Tea all over the counter.

Then spills it on the floor / coffee table.

I always tip some out when I catch him!

Also fills kettle to the max for one cuppa…

More solidarity here. Everything filled to/over the brim. He couldn't give a fook.

BarbieinPNW · 25/08/2025 18:06

Tell the silly childish heifer to get her own coffee, apologize for for her behavior and if she can't treat you with common courtesy then stay her carcass at home

humblehattie · 25/08/2025 18:10

CrashBambiCoot · 24/08/2025 14:19

my sister visits my house around 3 times a week. Every time she comes she takes the piss out of my coffee calling it “half a cup of coffee” etc

She last visited Friday where I made her a coffee and she snapped “oh come on, fill it up for fucks sake” saying I’d only half filled the mug (I hadn’t).

This morning she turns up. I make coffee, as I was taking it into the living room she looks into the mugs and screams “half a cup of coffee”. I snap back “I don’t fill it to the top so it doesn’t get spilled! Nobody fills coffee right to the top” so she started dancing around me acting crazy shouting “ooo don’t spill it” etc before suddenly lunging at me and shouting in my face - coffee got spilt.

Now I’ve said I’m not making her coffee anymore. That’s it. Sick of the piss taking and ranting and raving. DH witnessed all this and basically joined in with her. She’s 42, DH is 50.

its not normal to fill coffee right to the top is it??? And the hysterics is certainly not normal is it?

If she is always visiting, can’t she just make herself a cup of coffee? That way she would make it just how she likes it.

TheTeasmaid · 25/08/2025 18:11

@CrashBambiCoot i know the feeling a friend is similar. i always make it about 3 or 5 cm from the lip of the cup to prevent spilling and they act like its holy trinity

SuchiRolls · 25/08/2025 18:14

I’d just go and poor a bit more water in mine if it were me. I’d tell her to get f’ed if she ever thinks she’s coming to my house and speaking to me like that again, over me making her a coffee. As for the husband… Wtaf. If he’s got a problem with it he can make his own too. Ungrateful pair of twats!

Whogoncheckmeb00 · 25/08/2025 18:20

Trovindia · 24/08/2025 14:53

Her behaviour was poor but I think she was trying to be joking with you.

Yabu for not filling the mug, my mum she's this and I have to go and top it up. I fill mugs to about 1.5-2cm below the rim, like this (I don't know why my tea is frothy!)

That's not Tea. That's watery bubbles🫣 I'd lose my shit if someone gave me that😆

PistachioTiramisuLimoncello · 25/08/2025 18:22

I really HATE people filling things to the top. It’s soooo annoying.

socks1107 · 25/08/2025 18:24

I wouldn’t have her back in the house. She sounds unhinged

HatandCoat · 25/08/2025 18:25

Tell us more about what your husband did when he joined in?

anditmakesmesmile · 25/08/2025 18:28

Ha ha. She’s your sister. She’s allowed to take the piss in a way that no one else can. And you’re allowed to be pissed off by her behaviour. But not in a way that stops you laughing at each others idiocy!

ErrolTheDragon · 25/08/2025 18:29

What a weird, OTT and controlling reaction from the sister.
Some pretty odd responses too!
I’d like the op to come back with a photo of how much she fills the mug versus the level the mad sister deems acceptable though.

BlankBlankBlank14 · 25/08/2025 18:30

All very bizarre behaviour!!

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 25/08/2025 18:31

Is your sister and her husband for real?

Do they behave like monster, tantrum throwing two year olds all the time? Are they on sonething.
How old are they?

I would not have them in my house at all.

They really do need to get a life asap.

Just ignore them.

👎🌻🧚
x

ginasevern · 25/08/2025 18:32

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 24/08/2025 16:57

Entitled? No, but as the post you've quoted makes clear, if it happened repeatedly then yes, it would be perfectly understandable for someone to eventually get sick of it and lose their temper.

Show quote history

No, a cup of coffee not filled to the top doesn't entitle someone to lose their temper. More worryingly you even said you'd throw it over them. I hope this is just bravado because what you're proposing is assault. If you are by some chance being serious, may I ask whether you'd throw a hot cup of coffee over a colleague, cafe worker or family member because it wasn't to your liking? If the answer is yes, then you need help not just for your own sake but also those you associate/work with.

Weald56 · 25/08/2025 18:32

If I were you I wouldn't invite her into your house again until she's been cleared by a psychiatrist - she sounds barmy.

Maddy70 · 25/08/2025 18:33

Are you 5? An adult doesn't spill a full cup of coffee. Yes she was taking the piss but it's not like she was stealing your first born. If all the things to get worked up about. This isn't it!

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 25/08/2025 18:37

I'd have made up a Cafetiere and got her to pour her own or got her to pour the kettle.

I don't fill to top if I'm carrying - as likely it will spill with me but it's still a normal amount.

ForNoisyCat · 25/08/2025 18:38

CrashBambiCoot · 24/08/2025 14:19

my sister visits my house around 3 times a week. Every time she comes she takes the piss out of my coffee calling it “half a cup of coffee” etc

She last visited Friday where I made her a coffee and she snapped “oh come on, fill it up for fucks sake” saying I’d only half filled the mug (I hadn’t).

This morning she turns up. I make coffee, as I was taking it into the living room she looks into the mugs and screams “half a cup of coffee”. I snap back “I don’t fill it to the top so it doesn’t get spilled! Nobody fills coffee right to the top” so she started dancing around me acting crazy shouting “ooo don’t spill it” etc before suddenly lunging at me and shouting in my face - coffee got spilt.

Now I’ve said I’m not making her coffee anymore. That’s it. Sick of the piss taking and ranting and raving. DH witnessed all this and basically joined in with her. She’s 42, DH is 50.

its not normal to fill coffee right to the top is it??? And the hysterics is certainly not normal is it?

How dare she criticise the volume of coffee!? She’s in your home drinking your coffee. Whether there’s a drop if coffee in it or a 1000 drops she should be thankful. Your husband sounds nasty. I hope you’re enjoying can set and keep boundaries for both of them.

samthepigeon · 25/08/2025 18:40

GreenGodiva · 24/08/2025 14:33

It drives me crazy when people only do cups filled 1/2-2/3. If I wanted a tiny coffee I’d ask for a tiny coffee. If you are making a a drink, you fill the receptacle to about 10- 15mm from the rim ( unless there is a legitimate reason not to. I ask my DH for juice instead of coffee or tea, he brings me half a glass. He’d be bloody gutted if I made him a mini pizza for dinner instead of an actual adult meal but here I am supposed to be happy with half a drink.

If anyone makes me a cuppa, I am happy. I am not about to be fussy.

Russiandollsaresofullofthemselves · 25/08/2025 18:42

there is a difference between half a cup and leave a small space below the rim to allow for spillage. if it really is half a mug then i understand the annoyance but really you both need to grow up because it’s a ridiculous thing to get that worked up about.

Jujujudo · 25/08/2025 18:43

Gowlett · 24/08/2025 14:23

Glad it’s not just me! Solidarity, OP.

DH fills tea up, leaves the teabag in.

Then adds milk… Tea all over the counter.

Then spills it on the floor / coffee table.

I always tip some out when I catch him!

Also fills kettle to the max for one cuppa…

Thank god it’s not just my husband that does this!!!!! I have stains I can’t remove ingrained into the counter top…

learningtoliveagain · 25/08/2025 18:48

Is there more to this that coffee? Is sister jealous or upset with you because it sounds crazy to get so upset over coffee. Personally she wouldn’t be invited again and my husband would be joining her. I suffered years of snide remarks from my mom and sister, I ignored and just left so many situations which I now regret. Don’t let anyone treat you this way.