Page 12 | Dd17 work won’t let her book some time off for her driving test

Blueybingomum · 2025-08-21T23:29:07+00:00

dd17 is currently doing an appearance in a nursery. She’s been there a year and absolutely loves it but the managers can’t be abit funny. she passed her theory test last week straight away booked her driving test, now these are horrific to get atm and she luckily managed to get one in 11 weeks time. she went to work yesterday and asked if she could book it off but manager has said it’s unlikely. She asked if she could just take the morning off as it’s at 11am but again, said unlikely. They told her she has to look at the staff rota and rebook her test. They have more staff than needed atm and are constantly sending staff home early. Aibu to think it’s abit harsh.

Bellavida99 · 07/10/2025 17:38

Make sure you use your holiday - unless we don’t let you take your holiday, but we’ll penalise you if you can’t prove and document that you’ve asked many times to take leave. This is so horrible your poor daughter. Just tell her to leave and work somewhere nicer, don’t teach her it’s ok to put up with being treated badly

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 07/10/2025 17:57

Blueybingomum · 07/10/2025 16:59

So rude

Who is the email from?

I would respond:

"I have concrete evidence that the nursery has not allocated leave fairly.

When I attempted to book annual leave on two occasions (the first time 10 months in advance for the purposes of booking a holiday, and the second time 11 weeks in advance for the purposes of taking my driving test) my requests were declined for no good reason. Indeed, it was explained to me that my requests could not be granted in case other individuals wished to book annual leave at the same time.

This is a clear breach of the fairness rule because it is proof that my requests for annual leave are considered lower priority than all other team members and will only be granted if no one else wants to book leave at the same time. This is clear discrimination against me as the most junior member of the team, which is prohibited by the Equality Act 2010.

There is clearly no operational justification for denying either a request for holiday 10 months in advance when other people have not already booked holiday at this time, or a request for half a day's leave with 11 weeks' notice for the purposes of a driving test."

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 07/10/2025 17:58

Anyway, she should quit the literal moment she passes whatever milestone she needs for her training.

SlantedSlats · 07/10/2025 18:13

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 07/10/2025 17:57

Who is the email from?

I would respond:

"I have concrete evidence that the nursery has not allocated leave fairly.

When I attempted to book annual leave on two occasions (the first time 10 months in advance for the purposes of booking a holiday, and the second time 11 weeks in advance for the purposes of taking my driving test) my requests were declined for no good reason. Indeed, it was explained to me that my requests could not be granted in case other individuals wished to book annual leave at the same time.

This is a clear breach of the fairness rule because it is proof that my requests for annual leave are considered lower priority than all other team members and will only be granted if no one else wants to book leave at the same time. This is clear discrimination against me as the most junior member of the team, which is prohibited by the Equality Act 2010.

There is clearly no operational justification for denying either a request for holiday 10 months in advance when other people have not already booked holiday at this time, or a request for half a day's leave with 11 weeks' notice for the purposes of a driving test."

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OP please listen to this poster and others. It’s time for assertive action. I would be getting involved now as her mum. 17 is so young and she cannot take on a bullying employer by herself any more.

Linenpickle · 07/10/2025 18:22

Call ACAS.

Skybluepinky · 07/10/2025 18:38

They need her for ratios they use cheap staff to bridge the gap so the owners stay rich and staff are poor. Not shocked at all.

Original poster

Blueybingomum · 07/10/2025 18:45

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 07/10/2025 17:57

Who is the email from?

I would respond:

"I have concrete evidence that the nursery has not allocated leave fairly.

When I attempted to book annual leave on two occasions (the first time 10 months in advance for the purposes of booking a holiday, and the second time 11 weeks in advance for the purposes of taking my driving test) my requests were declined for no good reason. Indeed, it was explained to me that my requests could not be granted in case other individuals wished to book annual leave at the same time.

This is a clear breach of the fairness rule because it is proof that my requests for annual leave are considered lower priority than all other team members and will only be granted if no one else wants to book leave at the same time. This is clear discrimination against me as the most junior member of the team, which is prohibited by the Equality Act 2010.

There is clearly no operational justification for denying either a request for holiday 10 months in advance when other people have not already booked holiday at this time, or a request for half a day's leave with 11 weeks' notice for the purposes of a driving test."

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I have sent this! Thank you! X

OP posts:

Minniemummy19 · 08/10/2025 09:40

@Blueybingomum did you get her apprenticeship assessor involved? They should be supporting her. Not sure if you saw my earlier post but my daughter did an apprenticeship her first nursery was toxic the owner was a bully (even my husband ended up going in with her for a meeting and the owner patronised him so he bought her home). Her assessor was supportive and as long as she secured another position within a certain timeframe she could continue her apprenticeship, which she did. She’s still there now, not all nurseries are negative so I disagree with a post earlier about not going into one. She’s now qualified level 3 and is paid well, yes there are occasionally issues, mainly due to other staff (like all workplaces) but she’s happy. So definitely approach the college / training centre assessor and inform them. Best of luck to her and definitely don’t change the test date.

tamade · 09/10/2025 06:58

Balloonhearts · 29/09/2025 23:36

Don't tell them when it is and just call in sick. Who cares if they suspect? They're not going to come right out and call her a liar.

exactly this

would work even better if you can get a random cancellation slot

Cinaferna · 09/10/2025 13:00

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 07/10/2025 17:57

Who is the email from?

I would respond:

"I have concrete evidence that the nursery has not allocated leave fairly.

When I attempted to book annual leave on two occasions (the first time 10 months in advance for the purposes of booking a holiday, and the second time 11 weeks in advance for the purposes of taking my driving test) my requests were declined for no good reason. Indeed, it was explained to me that my requests could not be granted in case other individuals wished to book annual leave at the same time.

This is a clear breach of the fairness rule because it is proof that my requests for annual leave are considered lower priority than all other team members and will only be granted if no one else wants to book leave at the same time. This is clear discrimination against me as the most junior member of the team, which is prohibited by the Equality Act 2010.

There is clearly no operational justification for denying either a request for holiday 10 months in advance when other people have not already booked holiday at this time, or a request for half a day's leave with 11 weeks' notice for the purposes of a driving test."

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Brilliant advice.

Original poster

Blueybingomum · 10/10/2025 18:28

Sent that to them,

it’s made no difference.

We are running out of time to change her test but there hasn’t been any come up on testi app in weeks. I’m so stressed about it.

she’s taking her EPA on the 27th, her test is the 29th. Can she quit once she’s done it? Will she still get her qualification? She won’t phone in sick because she’s anxious about it.

OP posts:

tripleginandtonic · 10/10/2025 18:43

Blueybingomum · 10/10/2025 18:28

Sent that to them,

it’s made no difference.

We are running out of time to change her test but there hasn’t been any come up on testi app in weeks. I’m so stressed about it.

she’s taking her EPA on the 27th, her test is the 29th. Can she quit once she’s done it? Will she still get her qualification? She won’t phone in sick because she’s anxious about it.

She needs to take her driving test and deal with the fallout after.

themerchentofvenus · 10/10/2025 18:57

Blueybingomum · 10/10/2025 18:28

Sent that to them,

it’s made no difference.

We are running out of time to change her test but there hasn’t been any come up on testi app in weeks. I’m so stressed about it.

she’s taking her EPA on the 27th, her test is the 29th. Can she quit once she’s done it? Will she still get her qualification? She won’t phone in sick because she’s anxious about it.

Don't phone in sick on the day.

On the 27th she spends the afternoon rushing to the toilet. She announces she has really bad diarrhoea a little early (after EPA).

Obviously nursery and sickness bugs aren't a good mix, so this sickness bug can be strung out the entire week, or maybe returning on 31st if she feels up to it...

Your daughter may feel anxious, but they are not being fair, so she also needs to play unfair. I know two wrongs don't make a right, but in this case it means missing out on something huge!

RedToothBrush · 11/10/2025 04:36

themerchentofvenus · 10/10/2025 18:57

Don't phone in sick on the day.

On the 27th she spends the afternoon rushing to the toilet. She announces she has really bad diarrhoea a little early (after EPA).

Obviously nursery and sickness bugs aren't a good mix, so this sickness bug can be strung out the entire week, or maybe returning on 31st if she feels up to it...

Your daughter may feel anxious, but they are not being fair, so she also needs to play unfair. I know two wrongs don't make a right, but in this case it means missing out on something huge!

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She goes off sick with stress... She's stressed over whether she's passed or not.

RawBloomers · 11/10/2025 07:12

Blueybingomum · 07/10/2025 18:45

I have sent this! Thank you! X

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I don’t think this was a great move, because it doesn’t seem to be accurate. There is nothing in the Equality Act that stops them prioritising longer serving, or higher qualified team members’ holiday requests. Those aren’t protected characteristics. It’s more likely her contract she needs to look at to see if what they are doing is allowed.

I advised dropping the request and calling in sick on the day further up the thread, but the trail she’s left now is pretty damning. I quite like the elaborate DV display idea, but it’s pretty dodgy after the paper trail you’ve now left. You would add dishonesty to not coming in. That can really mar a work history if they sack her for that and she has to account for every job she’s ever had, as many child care setting require.

Has she approached her apprenticeship coordinator? That may be her best chance now of getting the date and staying in the job.

What is likely to happen to her if she just phones in on the day and says she isn’t coming in as she’s doing her driving test? Will they actually sack her or will they just give her a warning?

And can she quit working there while she’s an apprentice? If so, I would consider just resigning as close to her test as she can. They aren’t a good employer. But I don’t know how hard it will be for her to get another job.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 11/10/2025 07:14

RawBloomers · 11/10/2025 07:12

I don’t think this was a great move, because it doesn’t seem to be accurate. There is nothing in the Equality Act that stops them prioritising longer serving, or higher qualified team members’ holiday requests. Those aren’t protected characteristics. It’s more likely her contract she needs to look at to see if what they are doing is allowed.

I advised dropping the request and calling in sick on the day further up the thread, but the trail she’s left now is pretty damning. I quite like the elaborate DV display idea, but it’s pretty dodgy after the paper trail you’ve now left. You would add dishonesty to not coming in. That can really mar a work history if they sack her for that and she has to account for every job she’s ever had, as many child care setting require.

Has she approached her apprenticeship coordinator? That may be her best chance now of getting the date and staying in the job.

What is likely to happen to her if she just phones in on the day and says she isn’t coming in as she’s doing her driving test? Will they actually sack her or will they just give her a warning?

And can she quit working there while she’s an apprentice? If so, I would consider just resigning as close to her test as she can. They aren’t a good employer. But I don’t know how hard it will be for her to get another job.

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This is indirect age related discrimination.

And they weren't prioritising the existing holiday requests of more long standing or senior members of staff.

They told her she couldn't book holiday in case someone else wanted to. That's prioritising literally anyone else's potential holiday request over her actual holiday request.

Baddaybigcloud · 11/10/2025 07:22

Only bad management would deny this. At least she now knows in future to fake illness when something like this happens, rather than be honest!

CoughCoughLaugh · 11/10/2025 07:52

@Blueybingomum
I have scanned your posts but can't see if you have contacted ACAS and her apprenticeship coordinator? If you have, what have they said and if you haven't, please do so as soon as possible, it's been suggested a few times and they really are the authorities that could help.

Original poster

Blueybingomum · 11/10/2025 10:29

CoughCoughLaugh · 11/10/2025 07:52

@Blueybingomum
I have scanned your posts but can't see if you have contacted ACAS and her apprenticeship coordinator? If you have, what have they said and if you haven't, please do so as soon as possible, it's been suggested a few times and they really are the authorities that could help.

She has texted her assessor but hasn’t heard anything back yet. She only sees her every so often x

OP posts:

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 11/10/2025 10:33

Blueybingomum · 11/10/2025 10:29

She has texted her assessor but hasn’t heard anything back yet. She only sees her every so often x

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Has she emailed her assessor? Called ACAS?

It sounds like she's being very meek and hasn't kicked up enough of a stink about this.

CoughCoughLaugh · 11/10/2025 12:39

Blueybingomum · 11/10/2025 10:29

She has texted her assessor but hasn’t heard anything back yet. She only sees her every so often x

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Can I ask why she / you hasn't contacted ACAS? That was first suggested on the 22nd August! Or repeatedly rung her assessor? One text isn't really being very proactive. She needs help and is running out of time.

SlantedSlats · 11/10/2025 13:15

My kids when 17 would not have felt able to take this further. I would have been on the phone to ACAS asap with her by my side.

She needs to call in sick with stress now and do the damn driving test. Not ideal and I would never normally advise it but what can she do. She needs the driving licence.

SlantedSlats · 11/10/2025 13:15

CoughCoughLaugh · 11/10/2025 12:39

Can I ask why she / you hasn't contacted ACAS? That was first suggested on the 22nd August! Or repeatedly rung her assessor? One text isn't really being very proactive. She needs help and is running out of time.

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Exactly.

Original poster

Blueybingomum · 11/10/2025 20:06

She is very timid, tbh I was the same at 17.

im going to ring ACAS on Monday

OP posts:

frockandcrocs · 11/10/2025 20:57

Sorry you’re going through this, OP.

My old workplace was like this, I didn’t tell anybody and phoned in sick on the day of my test. First and only sickie I’ve ever pulled (and I passed, so I don’t regret it).

If all of her annual leave has been declined then I would just inform them it’s being taken unpaid and let them give a disciplinary- given they’ve declined all of her leave requests, I don’t think I tribunal would favour them, should it come to that!