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Struggle to spend money

52 replies

Whatdisfor · 21/08/2025 14:27

Please don't think this is a goody or humble brag post. It's really not. Does anyone have any advice to people who struggle to spend money?

When I was in my 20s I really tried to put forward an image that I was successful. Would go out with friends and spend money i didn't have and because of this over the course of 3 or 4 years accumulated about £13k of credit card debt.

I got a promotion at work and managed to clear the debt. And since then in the subsequent 15 years have progressed in my career and have had a number of pay jumps. I'm now just about to get another. The problem is that since I knuckled down to clear the credit card debt my lifestyle hasnt changed. I spooked myself so much I can't seem to shake the habits of saving every penny.

It's making me wonder what I am working for or towards. I keep going for promotions because that's what you do, I keep saving, I keep overpaying on the mortgage. How do I actually start enjoying myself?

I want to book a holiday, but as soon as I see the 'total' figure I just shy away and don't bother, despite not having had a holiday in 2 years and easily being able to afford it.

OP posts:
biedrona · 19/09/2025 14:12

I am similar although not because of previous debt but scarcity mindset. When I was growing up, we did not have a lot. Certainly no holidays abroad, hand me down clothes, not going to restaurant, cinema maybe once a year.
Even though I earn a comfortable salary now, I am scared to spend on big ticket items...like 2 week holidays, large appliances. I do not have a car either.

GlobalTravellerbutespeciallyBognor · 20/05/2026 22:58

How do you motivate yourself to work if you aren’t seeing anything nice coming from it? (Genuine question)

Separately, I’d buy one ‘treat item’ of good quality eg a cashmere jumper in a lovely shade, and really enjoy it.

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