Child walking in London with no shoes on

[Wiltingasparagusfern]

Look, it takes a lot for me to judge another mum. This one, who lives locally to me, is walking around with a barefoot three year old though. I’ve seen them three times, each time the little boy has been barefoot on the pavement (his mum has shoes on). We live in a nice neighbourhood, but there is still dog and fox shit, rubbish, broken glass, fag ends etc. I’ve never seen a needle but I haven’t exactly been looking.

I grew up in quite a hippieish community where kids were barefoot a lot but that was in the countryside. This is zone 2 London! AIBU to raise an eyebrow?

The child isn’t obviously disabled or neurodivergent, but perhaps he just won’t wear shoes? Is this a thing? I expect she is aware of tetanus but maybe she isn’t? Do some other cultures or demographics do this?

The child seems otherwise well looked after as does the baby in the sling but every time I see them I am shocked anew. Or maybe I’m just a judgy busybody who needs to mind her own business but I am wondering if anyone else has come across this.

There’s a renovator account on Instagram where the boy doesn’t wear shoes very often. He clearly has a wonderful upbringing and is very well cared for but just doesn’t want to wear shoes.

Parents (on the whole) can make decisions on what’s best for their individual children.

You can’t tell if a child is neurodivergent from walking past them! If the child looks cared for otherwise, then clearly there’s some reason for the lack of shoes.

It’s gross though, and unsafe. The streets are filthy, and there’s glass. There are no circumstances that make it ok for your child to step in shit barefoot or worse, slice their foot open on a bit glass.

Sometimes we have to be the grown up and do what’s best for the child. Best is to wear shoes on the street, doesn’t matter what ‘issues’ they might have- find a pair of shoes that suit.

The neighbourhood sounds grim. Stout shoes required.

"Parents (on the whole) can make decisions on what’s best for their individual children"

Sometimes they're the wrong ones.

Haha. I’d assure you it’s a very “desirable” neighbourhood if you buy into that sort of thing.

I have a better radar than most owing to family experience, but yes, that was my first thought, but I am fairly sure it isn’t the reason. Maybe the kid just won’t wear shoes?

Yeah I think I agree with this. Worst case scenario is a cut to the foot that then gets shit in it. I don’t think anyone with medical knowledge would be encouraging this…

I would be terrified of broken glass. But yeah, maybe the kid literally refuses shoes? It isn't really your place to say anything to them though.

This definitely

My Ds really struggled with shoes. Even after a battle to wear them he'd just take them off. It was a sensory thing and he eventually got over it. Physically forcing a shoe onto a sensory overloaded child who is kicking biting and even self harming is not something to take lightly, especially when the shoe will be taken off again 5 mins later. If faced with that versus dirt you'd take the dirt.

My friend couldn't get her daughter to wear shoes until she was about 4. Simply wouldn't. You could have a two hour tantrum, finally force the shoes on, and they'd be off again in minutes. I used to suggest superglue! She also used to give in - it just got too much to handle, and much as she wasn't happy about it, she reckoned if she hurt her feet then she'd change her mind. She did neither. Just evetually decided to wear them, no reason obvious at all.

I'm not excusing it but his feet are probably quite tough. I hardly wore shoes as a child and your feet get hard, I could walk on gravel and tar barefoot. Even now I hate a pedicure as it makes feet too soft to walk about freely, give me a hard foot any day.

There’s not a tantrum in the world that would stop me putting shoes on my child when going out. He needs an inhaler and the screaming and fighting when he first got it was wild. He still bloody took it, and now it doesn’t bother him at all. You push through what’s hard with kids and do what’s needed for their benefit and their wellbeing.

Agree, if you go barefoot you do get incredibly tough soles.
I have friends and family in nz and when they're over here they like to barefoot it just about everywhere they go. Seems way more common over there.
The only issue I have is there are no shoes to take off when you get home, so you're traipsing in street crap if you don't wipe down your feet.

I wouldn't see a shoeless kid as a safety issue, not at this time of year.

Wow you can tell if a child is neurodivergent just by looking at them! What an incredible skill. You should go and work for the NHS, it could cut down waiting list times.

There's a small possibility they might get a small cut on their foot.

There's also a small possibility your kid might break their arm falling off a swing, or fall into a river on a country walk, or get scalded by a hot cup of tea when they lean over your table in a cafe, or choke on a mouthful of their sandwich, or fall down the steps of the bus and crack their skull. But you wouldn't expect other parents to call you neglectful or negligent for taking your child to the park, or on a walk, or to a coffee shop, or catch a bus with them.

You're really over-stating the risk of this child coming to any harm and I think this is one for you to file under 'None of my business'.

FFS having a child with asthma isn't the same as having an ND child. The ignorance from people who have no clue is astounding every single time on these threads. If you're in SE London happy to swap details and you can come round and work your no nonsense magic on my ND kids please 🙏

You cant onviously tell if a child is neurodivergent. That is impossible.
Anyway, yes a bit weird but its summer and maybe they hate shoes!!

You have clearly not a clue what a tantrum is if you could force it on him and he then gave up after a bit. This young girl would not give up, for hours and over years. And if the shoes went on then they came straight off again. Please do tell me how many months you were prepared to wait to get to the supermarket?

Yes it took hours for weeks on end. But it was non-negotiable. Some things are non-negotiable.

I’d have pushed her in a buggy, if she refused shoes. No shoes, no walking.

You cannot let a tantrum dictate your day to day life for goodness sake.

3 year olds don’t want to do a lot of things. That’s why we as a society insist that they are cared for by parents to make decisions for them in their best interests. Barefoot in a safe environment, yes; on a London street, no. That’s a poor parenting decision.

Medicine is non-negotiable.

Shoes aren't.