Child walking in London with no shoes on

[Wiltingasparagusfern]

Look, it takes a lot for me to judge another mum. This one, who lives locally to me, is walking around with a barefoot three year old though. I’ve seen them three times, each time the little boy has been barefoot on the pavement (his mum has shoes on). We live in a nice neighbourhood, but there is still dog and fox shit, rubbish, broken glass, fag ends etc. I’ve never seen a needle but I haven’t exactly been looking.

I grew up in quite a hippieish community where kids were barefoot a lot but that was in the countryside. This is zone 2 London! AIBU to raise an eyebrow?

The child isn’t obviously disabled or neurodivergent, but perhaps he just won’t wear shoes? Is this a thing? I expect she is aware of tetanus but maybe she isn’t? Do some other cultures or demographics do this?

The child seems otherwise well looked after as does the baby in the sling but every time I see them I am shocked anew. Or maybe I’m just a judgy busybody who needs to mind her own business but I am wondering if anyone else has come across this.

My young nephew is severely autistic. He still has to brush his teeth, wear his cochlear implants, and wear clothes. All things that have caused a huge amount of stress and meltdowns. He still has to do these things.

"My young nephew is severely autistic. He still has to brush his teeth, wear his cochlear implants, and wear clothes. All things that have caused a huge amount of stress and meltdowns. He still has to do these things."

My 18 year old is severely autistic. If you tried to force tooth brushing on him when he is resisting for a particular reason then he and you would probably end up injured.

May well be the case when he’s older. But while he’s young they brush his teeth. He’s motivated by things he wants so they get on well with working towards rewards.

Regardless, everyone is speculating that this child is autistic. We don’t know that it’s always the first response on any thread like this. Some people are also just shitty parents. There is a family here who let all 4 of their young children run about barefoot. Funnily enough the parents don’t. We live in Scotland and it’s freezing most of the year. They are alternative homeschool types. Each to their own but I think it’s ridiculous. Put some damn shoes on them.

Christ with the ignorance and judgemental attitude you've shown on this thread I sincerely hope you don't work for the NHS.

And I've reported this thread, not that MN will do anything about yet another ableist stream of judgement towards parents who are picking their battles trying to get through the day under judgmental eyes.
The angle of London streets filled with needles and faeces is new I have to admit. As a born and bred Londoner I have yet to encounter these streets in real life but I'm sure other posters aren't lying. The streets they walk on are as filthy as their parenting is perfect.

If someone never wears shoes, the skin on their soles becomes a lot thicker and tougher, like the pads on a dog's feet. Don't worry about it.

You know one autistic child who is motivated by rewards. My guess is that you've never met an autistic child with a PDA profile. Everyone "knows an autistic child". They have no idea what, if anything, will work with other autistic children. That's why it's a spectrum.

How about you come on?!!!

I asked the OP because she said that the child DOESN'T look neurodivergent you know from what shes seen walking past them 3 times.

I'd see a child with no shoes on and assume they were neurodivergent..... if I was low enough to assume anything instead of just carrying on with my day because the child is supervised and with the same adult several times who appears to be the child's parent.

I was wondering what she seen that made her say that child is not neurodivergent / doesn't look neurodivergent.

I have 2 neurodivergent children with severe and complex needs. So I'd like to know how my kids would stick out like a sore thumb a sore thumb and scream "im neurodiverse" without telling people that they are.

I never claimed to know all the autistic children in the world. I’m not interested in all the millions of ways a child might not want to wear shoes or otherwise.

If my children are regulated and not hand flapping and are co operating and both walking you wouldn't know they were neurodivergent. Should I put a sign on their heads ? Or should people just mind their own business

You don't need to know millions. You just need to accept what people are telling you (those who have vastly more direct experience than you) that these children exist and no, you couldn't handle it better/ differently or whatever you think you could do.

You say that but where I live I can't remember the last time I saw dog or fox shit, rubbish, broken glass and fag ends.

It’s disgusting and all that black grime will be all over the floors in his house. Makes me cringe

I went to school in New Zealand. In primary school in the late 90s I’d say about 80% of the kids were barefoot all day. In the classroom (actually shoes weren’t allowed in the classroom), on the grass, on the bark under the playground equipment (climbing frames etc), on the concrete tennis and basketball courts, under the big trees where we’d have lunch. If it was muddy outside then we’d be told to wash our feet before going back inside. Most kids would wear shoes again to go home but not all. It wasn’t uncommon to see a kid walking home barefoot holding their shoes.

That is ridiculous! You can’t identify all neurodivergent/sensory needs because of your one family experience. I’d suggest don’t judge a parent until you’ve actually lived their life!

I thought about this. Walking on the beach barefoot is perhaps much more dangerous. Regularly children stand on glass, dog poo, buried children’ s poo, hot barbecues, fish hooks, sharp stones and weaver fish. It is much more difficult to see these in the sand than on the path. I have always let my children run barefoot on the beach but not on the streets. Maybe I should have thought about it. Shoes are (according to quite a bit of new research) very bad for the feet of children and adults too, particularly trainers.

That ok. I think autism parents are so used to ignorance that we can sometimes be fierce in defense of our children! That’s what I’m taking from some of the comments anyway. I think it’s a nice quality and that most of us would have a real laugh if we met in real life

Well that’s the thing…they let my kid go barefoot at nursery. I don’t love it - their feet are so ingrained with soil at the end of the day - but also they prefer it that way so I’m happy to continue. The pavements are a bit dirtier than the garden though

I wonder if they are from Oz or New Zealand - that would make more sense actually

Where do you live? In London?

Yes I have and yes that was ds at times

I shall agree with you being a judgy busybody

Some mumnetters will be surprised to learn regards there,are millions of people that go through life without shoes or wearing shoes occasionally and they survive. They become incredibly aware of what they are stepping on and where there feet go. They develop strong feet and ankles. As far as am aware there is no scientific evidence that they live shorter or more miserable lives because they go around barefoot. Yes, they live among us.

Leave your neighbourhood mum alone.

Far too graphic for MN audiences at this time of day.

I never said I would do anything other than leave her alone!! This is the problem with this website, people are determined to read everything in bad faith

My daughter (who is actually not my ND child) walks around our suburb bare foot all the time (though not in winter). She just likes it, but she is older and capable of making sure she doesn’t step on anything dangerous or gross. I do often wonder whether ppl are wondering where my head is at letting her though! We’re all barefoot in the garden all the time even though there are lots of stones and long grasses etc, we have feet of unusual toughness as a result (which isn’t a particularly impressive thing to be fair but I notice it at the beach etc when people are wincing on stones and were scampering over them like weird goat-human hybrids)!