Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hobby

38 replies

treetop122 · 20/08/2025 20:40

I’m going to give very little context to this AIBU just so I can get a general idea.

Husband started new job at the start of the summer holidays so he couldn’t take any annual leave whilst the children (10,5 &2) have been off.
I have the school holidays off so it has been me and the 3 kids every day.
Husband has booked 1 day of holiday for Friday and is going away for 24 hours for his hobby.

AIBU for being upset that he wouldn’t spend it with us?

for clarity

You are being unreasonable for being upset your husband is going away for a hobby.

you are not being unreasonable, your husband should spend the time at home with you and the kids.

** Side note, no chance for me to have time to myself. No family help etc.. also this is more to do with the fact husband would rather do the hobby.
Thank you

OP posts:
Fidgety31 · 20/08/2025 20:56

He’s a selfish prick - most men are

Saz12 · 20/08/2025 21:01

No, that's crap of him! Unless he takes the kids out for a day every weekend or so, or has them on his own of an evening so ypu can go out?

childofthe607080s · 20/08/2025 21:02

yanbu

Needmorelego · 20/08/2025 21:03

Book something for yourself on another weekend (if he doesn't work weekends) and just tell him that you are going - and go.
(I am assuming he hasn't been working 7 days a week and has spent some time with you as a family)

BallerinaRadio · 20/08/2025 21:06

What is this mystery hobby?

Eagle2025 · 20/08/2025 21:06

You havent said how many days holiday he will get, if he has used 1 day for a hobby and will have other days holiday coming up to spend with you all then I dont see the problem. Also if you want to have a break he can watch the kids in the evening and you go out with the girls.

Original poster
treetop122 · 20/08/2025 21:06

Weekends we have been spending as a family, so no, I haven’t been away from the kids (except I go for a run once a week for about 40 minutes).

just trying to get a general feel for this. He has started a new job which has been stressful for him, which is why he is going to do his hobby.

Also to clarify, he will work Thursday, go straight to his hobby and return Friday evenings. So out of the house Thursday 8am and home Friday 8pm

OP posts:
Original poster
treetop122 · 20/08/2025 21:07

No other holiday booked for the rest of the holiday.

OP posts:
Eagle2025 · 20/08/2025 21:09

treetop122 · 20/08/2025 21:06

Weekends we have been spending as a family, so no, I haven’t been away from the kids (except I go for a run once a week for about 40 minutes).

just trying to get a general feel for this. He has started a new job which has been stressful for him, which is why he is going to do his hobby.

Also to clarify, he will work Thursday, go straight to his hobby and return Friday evenings. So out of the house Thursday 8am and home Friday 8pm

If you want a break one weekend just do it then! You say he is there at the weekends so there is no issue of having no one to look after the kids

Needmorelego · 20/08/2025 21:10

I don't think 24 hours for him to do his hobby is too bad as long as you get a chance to do something for yourself on another day.
Book something. Do it.

Original poster
treetop122 · 20/08/2025 21:13

It’s not really about me wanting a break. I am upset about the one day he could book off he is off to do a hobby. Most families take a bit of time off over the summer to be with the kids.

OP posts:
Eagle2025 · 20/08/2025 21:15

treetop122 · 20/08/2025 21:13

It’s not really about me wanting a break. I am upset about the one day he could book off he is off to do a hobby. Most families take a bit of time off over the summer to be with the kids.

What about previous years? How did you get on with spending time together as a family in the holidays? You talk about the fact he has started a new job.

Needmorelego · 20/08/2025 21:17

treetop122 · 20/08/2025 21:13

It’s not really about me wanting a break. I am upset about the one day he could book off he is off to do a hobby. Most families take a bit of time off over the summer to be with the kids.

It's literally one day though. He is home at the weekend.

ThrivingIn2025ing · 20/08/2025 21:22

Is he lying about not being able to take time off? It’s just strange he said he couldn’t and now he can?

YANBU to be upset that the first day off he gets he chooses to fuck off alone rather than spend it together.

Original poster
treetop122 · 20/08/2025 21:24

Previous years he has managed to take at least a week sometimes two weeks off during the holidays to be home.

Yea he has been home the weekends with us.

I feel sad for the kids this year. It has just been me with them and we have been busy. I feel like it is quite a big deal that he has taken a days holiday and booked in his hobby.
It upsets me looking at other families around us going on holiday or day trips together. It has felt like a big deal for him to take 1 day annual leave and use it for a hobby.
This is my annual leave (I am a teacher).

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 20/08/2025 21:28

Is it something he booked weeks ago? If it's something like a Grand Prix or Wimbledon that only happens at particular times of year, it's understandable that he takes his time off around it.

Eagle2025 · 20/08/2025 21:30

treetop122 · 20/08/2025 21:24

Previous years he has managed to take at least a week sometimes two weeks off during the holidays to be home.

Yea he has been home the weekends with us.

I feel sad for the kids this year. It has just been me with them and we have been busy. I feel like it is quite a big deal that he has taken a days holiday and booked in his hobby.
It upsets me looking at other families around us going on holiday or day trips together. It has felt like a big deal for him to take 1 day annual leave and use it for a hobby.
This is my annual leave (I am a teacher).

Well hopefully once he is settled at his new job it will go back to him being able to take more time off in the holidays next year. Make a thread next year if he doesnt! But as it stands it sounds like a one off after a stressful period at a new job.

Original poster
treetop122 · 20/08/2025 21:32

Not a one off. Can go whenever so not a special event or anything.

OP posts:
Eagle2025 · 20/08/2025 21:35

Let him have his day. If he spends the weekends with you all I dont see what difference one day will make. You can still do all those things you talk about over the weekends. And you cant go on holiday for one day, so 🤷‍♀️

Silverbirchleaf · 20/08/2025 21:37

I was going to say something similar, if it were a one off, fair enough, but I’d be disappointed if it were routine as well. Eg round of golf.

(am curious what takes 24 hours, unless he’s travelling to get there)

OSTMusTisNT · 20/08/2025 21:39

You're married to a bachelor boy......

Needmorelego · 20/08/2025 21:42

OSTMusTisNT · 20/08/2025 21:39

You're married to a bachelor boy......

What because he's going out for one day?

Original poster
treetop122 · 20/08/2025 21:54

The hobby is fishing and it is a regular thing. He goes once a month for a 24 hour period so he camps out next to a lake.

I am trying not to be so disappointed that he has booked time to go away but I am annoyed.

I have been at home managing 3 children for all of the holiday by myself.
It just feels really selfish to me and more importantly I feel sad for my kids. Why wouldn’t he want to spend an extra day with them over the holiday rather than just the weekend. They have been stuck with just me for 5 weeks already!

OP posts:
Eagle2025 · 20/08/2025 22:09

treetop122 · 20/08/2025 21:54

The hobby is fishing and it is a regular thing. He goes once a month for a 24 hour period so he camps out next to a lake.

I am trying not to be so disappointed that he has booked time to go away but I am annoyed.

I have been at home managing 3 children for all of the holiday by myself.
It just feels really selfish to me and more importantly I feel sad for my kids. Why wouldn’t he want to spend an extra day with them over the holiday rather than just the weekend. They have been stuck with just me for 5 weeks already!

I understand it can make you feel a bit crap but it's one day. It's not like he has taken a weeks holiday and is spending it elsewhere. What difference does one day make in terms of how much time you are spending with the kids over the holidays. Hopefully next year things return to normal and you get a proper family holiday away as a family.

FawnDrench · 20/08/2025 22:09

It’s a bank holiday weekend so you’ll gave a whole 3 days to be together and do family things.
Or you can take a day or two of the weekend to go off on your own…