Why am I so shit?

[JNicholson]

I just bought a sandwich from M&S after a work meeting in a different location, and ate half of it before getting on the train back to the main office. I put the other half in its packaging in my open laptop bag, which is crammed full of other stuff, to eat when I got back.

As soon as I sat down on the train I saw that the open package had fallen from the bag onto the floor, so no other half of the M&S sandwich for me. I couldn’t see the sandwich, assumed it had fallen under the seat but when I got up to throw the packaging away I saw it had somehow fallen to the side and slightly under me so although I have now thrown the squashed half sandwich away, there is now some squashed egg mayonnaise and ketchup on the seat, bad luck for anyone subsequent who wants to sit there, and ditto on my smart work dress which was newly washed this morning and which I will now have to wash again.

This kind of event sums up my life. Why? Why am I so shit? Why am I incapable of having a laptop bag that isn’t crammed and which I can close? Why am I incapable of eating a sandwich on the go without throwing it on the floor and mashing it into my dress?

FML.

Yeah, that was never going to end well, was it?😂

OP one upon a time on a business class flight to San Francisco the cabin crew kept offering posh chocolates with our drinks; 'twas only when getting changed at my hotel that I realised I must've dropped one of those chocolates and sat on it - the arse of my trousers was covered in chocolate. The trousers were black so it could've been much worse but still makes me cringe.

I can’t wear anything white as I’d ruin it, you’re being hard on yourself.

Ah well, better shit than a shit

You sound lovely, and the sort of friend I would cherish. (Also rather like me).

It's not personal OP! It's called sod's law!! I have this kind of thing happen to me on occasion - usually the ones when I need to stay clean and presentable but according to sod's law - it ain't happening!!
Chalk it down to an off day!!

I do this! Without the Roka bag though.

I avoid this sort of thing by always thinking ahead as to what might happen - and it's a bloody nightmare and I'd much rather NOT be on constant alert to all the possibilities of stuff spilling, breaking, launching itself in strange directions and creating a mess. You are not shit.

Thanks for the many kind replies! As an update: I’m now home and have changed into more comfortable clothes and have sponged my dress and am having a cup of tea. I’ve remembered that being on my period (which I currently am) often makes me more physically clumsy (and it also played a role in my bag being so full as I had to cart round Kotex). So, while I still think I am shit, I also think that I was trying to do my best given this wasn’t the optimal day to be on the go.

Oh God. I've more than once got cash out of a cash machine and walked off without it.
Only a tenner each time, but honestly <<face-palm>>

I’m surprised you get more than one wear out of your work dresses, I’m not a sweaty person at all. but after a day at work and public transport I wouldn’t want to wear the same one twice. I say this as someone who had several members of staff age 20s-50s and yes we had a conversation about this and it was unanimous, we all wash work dresses after wearing once.

Every so often I empty my laptop backpack out completely. Last time I did so I had to take a photo because of the sheer number of random:

• Cereal bars or other snacks
• Serviettes and those hand wipe thingies
• Hair bands or clips
• Charger plugs or european adapters
• Cotton tote bags
• Other stupid little items I chucked in there once and never needed after that instance.

Probably removed a good 2 kg of stuff!

I’m like this, OP. I’ve spent my life trying so bloody hard to be better but I’m just a disaster and the harder I try the worse I fail. I’m pretty sure it’s ADHD but haven’t chased a diagnosis because I don’t want everyone to think that I’m jumping on a bandwagon. I spend my life certain that this sort of thing doesn’t happen to a certain type of person. My life is beset with small inconveniences and minor fuck ups which, on their own would be ok, but they accumulate into a constant, soul destroying drudge of crap.

This morning for example:

Got up, decided I would go for a short run, tried to locate sports bra but it hadn’t been washed yet. Used old, too small
sports bra instead with half the clasps missing. Grabbed AirPods. They have a weird issue where they can be fully charged the night before but one of them drains overnight in the case as it must not quite sit properly in there. So one dead AirPod. Plug them on to recharge, hunt for trainers. Remember they’re in the car. Out to the car to get them. Door slams shut behind me, have to phone teen to wake him up to let me back in the house again. Finally out for run, all good. Get back, go to make breakfast but the bread’s gone mouldy and the milk’s gone off. Have a shower, accidentally spray hairspray under my arms instead of deodorant. Back in shower to wash hairspray off.

and so it continues every single day. It’s exhausting. And I’m pretty sure that anyone with normal executive function will read this and just think I’m shit and need to get it together but OH MY GOD you have no idea how hard I try to sort it out.

I have frequently asked myself the same question, OP. If anything I am doing CAN be dropped, broken, knocked over or otherwise sabotaged, it will be. If anything falls from a high cupboard then it will not just fall but knock several other things down on its way, spilling sugar all over the worksurfaces, breaking at least one jar and making an almighty mess. It's never a simple 'whoops'...

In my case I put it down to ADHD and very poor risk assessment.

Don’t know how old you are but I have found the nearer menopause I get the less shit/clumsy i get.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I must have slowed down a bit 🤣

you aren’t shit, no doubt you are busy

I love people like you OP because it's nice to not be the only person like this. Your imperfections are what make you human. Be a bit kinder to yourself.

I am like this, OP, and I have finally realised (thanks to a late ADHD diagnosis) that it really all boils down to rushing - all the time. I don’t allow anywhere near enough time to do most things, in fact it’s a wonder that I do so many things reasonably well! I have plenty of casualties throughout the day, I am actively trying to address my time blindness so that my life is not such a shit-show. I am not suggesting that you have ADHD but you might be also rushing a lot. Glad you are having a better evening :)

My thoughts exactly

8 think you’re my twin! That’s just the sort of mishap that I experience regularly. I always end up wearing my lunch, never get dressed before breakfast to avoid getting overnight oats down my front and don’t even ask what I look like after dinner🤪🤪

My laptop bag is always rammed too - sometimes there's not even room for my laptop. And I'm always carrying that laptop bag along with two other bags to work usually. I am the notorious bag lady at my place of work - and I don't even have a need to carry more things than anyone else 😂 As in, I am not more important or industrious than anyone else for all my bags!

On a recent safari holiday we went to tribal night where we had to eat with our fingers, my Dd said ' you eat much better with your fingers than with a knife and fork' 😅😅 it's true, if my food can fall on my top it will, guaranteed. I also regularly bump into the edges of doors and cupboards, I'm just clumsy and distracted

Your last post sounds a lot more self compassionate OP which is lovely to see. Cosy up and look after yourself, and tomorrow is another day. for you.

Maybe take your own advice @Overnightfloats because people who are generally sorted out and can do better don’t have to get their jollies being arseholes on line to feel smug.

Can't be arsed to read the replies (sorry) but just wanted to say you are not alone! I try my utmost to have my shit together but seem to fail. I am so clumsy too. I really piss myself off sometimes. Anyway have a prosecco, tomorrow is another day and hopefully you won't have anymore sarnie drama 🤣

I've had to wear a tucked napkin or apron at home as I like to read as I eat and keep missing my mouth

Egg Mayonnaise and ketchup?
Thats the only awful thing you did OP