Why am I so shit?

[JNicholson]

I just bought a sandwich from M&S after a work meeting in a different location, and ate half of it before getting on the train back to the main office. I put the other half in its packaging in my open laptop bag, which is crammed full of other stuff, to eat when I got back.

As soon as I sat down on the train I saw that the open package had fallen from the bag onto the floor, so no other half of the M&S sandwich for me. I couldn’t see the sandwich, assumed it had fallen under the seat but when I got up to throw the packaging away I saw it had somehow fallen to the side and slightly under me so although I have now thrown the squashed half sandwich away, there is now some squashed egg mayonnaise and ketchup on the seat, bad luck for anyone subsequent who wants to sit there, and ditto on my smart work dress which was newly washed this morning and which I will now have to wash again.

This kind of event sums up my life. Why? Why am I so shit? Why am I incapable of having a laptop bag that isn’t crammed and which I can close? Why am I incapable of eating a sandwich on the go without throwing it on the floor and mashing it into my dress?

FML.

Arghhh! I feel your pain. I've dropped so much food in my life. I remember an entire heaving plate of greasy fried egg, sausage, chips and beans flipping over fully into my lap once.

I hate sandwich packaging. I don't know why they don't sell them in resealable packaging, with like a little wedge/ barrier thing in the middle so the second half stays together.

I need to go on dragons den with that one!? Or just bring a little plastic ziplock bag for the half sandwich?

Ha, jaffa boob has made my day!!

Here's another one, and I have told ONE person I trust about this. I have a cat who for whatever reason (he is a big lump of love but was a stray for many years and I think it's a habit), will just pee wherever he finds a piece of clothing on the floor or towel for example. Luckily not the bed or anywhere.

A few months ago, I felt a bit of damp on the bottom of my uniform. I had hung it on the bannister but the end of the trousers must have been hitting the floor. Once I realised I thought 'oh God that's been the cat' but ok it might be a bit uncomfortable and I can smell it slightly but nothing overpowering.

Now having been used to these animals for 30 plus years, you would think I would have known this, but to be fair, with all the animals I have had, he is the first with this habit.

Throughout the day, the smell got worse. I luckily work alone but I do have people passing by me to get to where they are going. As the day grew, so did the smell, and I had people commenting 'what IS that?' and 'how are you sticking that smell?' I blamed the building and had people convinced it was coming through a vent or something had died.

I'm very aware that cat pee is horrendously ammonia-c if that is even a word but dear God I could hardly see by the end of the day. It just got worse and worse to the point my eyes were streaming. I never imagined that could have happened or that other people would be affected by it. I actually thought I was going to go blind lol

Nah, we have a projector and big screen, so it's basically cinema conditions for us.
I know exactly what you mean about spilt food landing on the white section of a top, not the dark section. How does that happen?

Oh I hear you OP. I’m always asking why I’m so shite. I try so hard to be put together but I am a scatty mess.

I’m exactly the same, OP. I just never could stay tidily dressed or free from mess of some sort. I drop things and lose things and however often I sort out my bag, it’s always a tip and I have to rummage.

My daughter was told she has dyspraxia and my excuse is the same (if they’d had it in my day!). I’m really well organised in time management, never late and always well prepared for things but physically I’m a walking disaster zone.

I'm quite a tidy person and don't often drop or spill things, but I've only bought sandwiches three or four times in my life and I always get in a mess with those triangular packets.

I have diagnosis of dyspraxia as well.

Though I do carry wipes and tissues round so can mope up accidents/spills - do not put drinks in handbag or lap top bags - carry in yet another or side pannel or ruckack upright as have learnt hard way leaks can happen.

I think I've just learnt and probably taught kids to anticipate issues like this - though they still happen.

Agree. Or Sod's Law.

Ok first i want to hug you. That is my life too. Im just accident prone. It is frustrating but cant be helped. You are not alone x

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman in possession of a white top, must be in want of a stain.

You sound a bit like me. I found out by accident that I had inattentive ADHD at 38.. a lot of women have this but only discover in 30s and 40s- wheels really come off when you have to suddenly be primarily responsible for multiple other people as well as yourself...
My whole life has been like this!
Bullet journals help, as do massive backpacks, an understanding partner and a less stressful job!

however often I sort out my bag, it’s always a tip and I have to rummage.

I do to - though have preference for internal pockets that do help - I keep meaning to look at bag orgainsers both for this and becuase I can't cope with more than one bag - and that bag always ready to go with everything in.

Teens won't have bags - but found leg bags that are same as my handbag with everything living in certain pockets ready to just go.

You have been organised enough to; work in an office with others without being fired, catch a train, be invited to a smart work meeting, buy a suitably smart outfit, work a lap top. You beat yourself up over ten percent failures when you havent noticed all the 90 percent successes...all of which apart from catching a train, I havent managed for a very long time (although of course I've had other "successes")
We all notice the few things we fail at but fail to notice how we are managing and successfully juggling an awful lot else.

Adult inattentive ADHD is very much undiagnosed; not knowing you have it makes people feel like "everyone else can do this except me"....which isnt true because often people /women with undiagnosed ADHD push themselves hard and judge themselves more harshly.

M&S related - I went in today to buy a packet of their bakery cookies, scanned them, put them down on the scales, paid and seemingly just walked off leaving them at the till. I only discovered this when home and unpacking the car. My baby hasn’t slept for 6 weeks, I need sugar 😭

I think the sandwich makers are partly to blame for sticking a load of mayonnaise in every sandwich, making them slippery and soggy. Someone posted a picture of the M&S All Day Breakfast sandwich - it had mayonnaise in it. Who on earth has mayonnaise on their breakfast?

Hi OP

You clearly hold down a job that requires you to travel to meetings, use a laptop, and wear a smart dress. So you must be pretty clever.

Dropping a sarnie doesn't make you shit, it's just one of those things.

Chin up, be kind to yourself

I recommend A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K White
..it's about cleaning but also about organising in general for those of us who are challenged in that department. It's about cutting down the decision making whereas most organisation books start at the wrong end by making you feel like shit for getting small things wrong or not managing the small baby steps...like handbags.

This happens to everyone. You’re not Bridget Jones

I'd more be asking why all the catastrophising over a simple error OP?

You aren't "shit". You made a poor or careless decision & experienced some consequences of that.

Just take a little care when you put things in your bag, sponge off the dress, and clean up the seat a bit if you can. If not the train company cleaner will have to deal with it.

Telling yourself and the world you are "shit" when you make a basic mistake is not good for you.

I was once on my way - after work - to an evening class and eating a chicken mayo sarnie on the tube and dropped some chicken out of it on to the bag of the woman next to me.

She pointed it out to me in silent disapproval . . .

Op you sound like me. Don’t try to be something you’re not, just roll your eyes/ laugh. It beats overthinking and being on edge and thinking you’re shit when you’re not really, give me a clumsy/ messy/ unlucky person over anyone who might judge said person- they’re more of an issue x

I came to the conclusion I'm an incompetent 'adult' a long time ago. Drop things, spill things, hurt myself, fall over things. I'm generally a twat!