Holiday home - what are your top 5 must haves - in order?

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Lighthearted, inspired by thread about bed size.

So mine are:

1. Area. We have one specific area when holidaying in uk.
2. Number of bedrooms.
3. Number of parking spaces and must be off street.
4. Garden.
5. No pets.

Honestly don't think to check for king or double bed size!

What's your top 5 in order?

No. of Bedrooms/Beds
Outside area to eat/relax in
Air Conditioning
Amenities within walking distance
BBQ

The big one for me is that I want everyone in our group to have a proper bed/bedroom. No sofabeds/mezzanines with no proper door etc. Can't understand places that do "three bedroom, sleeps 13" style advertising

comfortable sofa
outdoor space
water /beach nearby if possible
no pets
parking ease

Private parking.
Preferably at least two rooms with a double bed but can cope with twin beds if not.
Separate toilet in addition to the main bathroom.
A smart TV that we can log into our own Netflix account on.
Washing machine.

BBQ !
See - one i wouldn't think of.

I agree about the weird bedroom with no doors thing. Some places are odd. These days i like a floor plan if poss.

Nice soft mattresses and not-too-thick pillows (the number of cricked necks I've had from monster pillows)

Curtains that actually exclude light

Reliable wi-fi

No noisy neighbours

Somewhere to park (on-street ok as long as you reliably can actually get a spot there)

Pernickety perhaps, but's what's with the coffee tables in the middle of rooms that you can't actually reach from your seat? Little tables, by sofas and chairs!

Reasonably powerful shower.

Why do you always go to the same area? Don't you get bored?

Posting from holiday home which is very nice and well eqipped apart from only loo on ground floor. Will always look for that in future. Sick of downstairs trips in the night. Otherwise, washing machine, stocked with basic cooking stuff like oil and salt and pepper, walkable to local amenities, private outdoor space.

1. Welcome gifts - bottle of wine etc. Best one was air BnB in France that had wine, milk, and a plate of hams, cheeses and breads. After a long drive, much appreciated.

2. Seating area - went to a place for four people that only had a two seater sofa (and kitchen table chairs)

3. Dishwater - can’t be doing with washing up whilst on holiday

4. Beds made up on arrival.

5. End of holiday cleaning - not - before I get fished, I always empty bins, put dishwasher on, etc, and leave the place reasonably tidy, but I’m not doing a deep clean, stripping beds etc.

Oh - washing machine

I think i always assume that will be there. Not so much a drier or dish washer. But maybe they'll be on some folks' lists?

x post !
Theres the dish washer 😊

If we're in the uk it's has to be Purbeck, Dorset. Never, ever bored ♥️

I usually look for somewhere with a bed for everyone. A wood burner or hot tub. Tasteful decor. Nice views and some outside space, even just a small terrace. A dishwasher.

No leather sofas - uncomfortable
King size bed - DH is too tall for a double, so I end up crammed into a corner
No foot board to bed - so DH feet can stick out the bottom
Easy parking - self explanatory
Good kitchen and cooking equipment - I relax by cooking

Accessible by train
Number of bedrooms
Private garden area
Close to pub
Preferably by the sea

2 beds
WiFi
Decent size TV
Bathroom on same floor as beds
Guaranteed parking.

I'm assuming area is a given i.e. we're choosing places in our chosen area. Oh, also a flat/cottage that's not someone's lived in home sometimes, after a horrible experience.

Lighthearted, but with a hope that holiday cottage owners will take note-

Table lamps. Can't bear it being either the big light or nothing.
A footstool. So often there are 90 cushions but nowhere to put your feet up.
A line or clothes horse for drying towels and bathers.
Pegs if there is a line.
If the cottage sleeps 2, more than 2 of everything is nice so you're not constantly washing up tea spoons or wine glasses.
Recycling facilities. I always end up bringing it home.

If it's a UK holiday, parking - got caught out with this in Cornwall once, never again.

Washing machine and dishwasher

Number of bedrooms - and no weird mezzanine or through bedrooms - we saw one on airbnb when we looked for our last trip and one of the "bedrooms" was up a rustic ladder. A ladder.

No pets

Doors on bathrooms - you shouldn't have to check they exist, but apparently you do on holiday lettings

Dog friendly.

Location suitable for hiking

secluded

Hot tub

Fire pit

We've been to the tip on holiday to get rid of our recycling. Nothing says fun family holiday like a trip to a random town's refuse and recycling facility.

Sea view
Walking distance to village / pub
Dishwasher / washing machine
Suitable beds / rooms for everyone (no sofa beds / trundles etc..)
Log burner outside of summer

Walking distance to a shop and pub
Comfortable bed
Parking
Outdoor space

Decent Wifi

Dishwasher and washing machine!
I don’t want to be washing up or doing trips to the laundrette.

Excellent, genuine reviews especially around comfort and cleanliness
Location
Dishwasher
Washing Machine
No pets or smoking allowed

I only do self catering in the UK when DC and partners come. I don't care about a kitchen as we eat out.

1. All bedrooms are ensuite
2. Preferably king size beds. Double will do but not twin.
3. Brilliant view
4. Parking
5. Walking distance to restaurant/ pub

Quiet area

Comfortable seating area/living space

Well equipped kitchen

Washing machine

Well obviously the location is first, followed by number of bedrooms!
After that the amenities required in that particular holiday, which could be a pool, or a fenced in yard for dogs, or walkable to sights/shops/restaurants.
What would stop be returning is:
constant interruptions from the host; poor quality sheets and mattresses, too many restrictions (one place had little notes all over the place).