Holiday home - what are your top 5 must haves - in order?

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Lighthearted, inspired by thread about bed size.

So mine are:

1. Area. We have one specific area when holidaying in uk.
2. Number of bedrooms.
3. Number of parking spaces and must be off street.
4. Garden.
5. No pets.

Honestly don't think to check for king or double bed size!

What's your top 5 in order?

Location that is accurately described
facilities accurately described
parking
wi fi
clean.

could write a whole other thread about what I want inside. Have stayed in many holiday lets with varying levels of comfort.

Enclosed garden with grass - we stayed in one place where it was just a terraced patio and the dog just would not use it...meant a lot of very early morning/late night trips to the local graveyard.

Comfortable garden furniture, not bistro style.

To be honest, with both the above, if I can't actually see these things in the photos I just swipe on

Wifi - although I would take that as a given these days

Comfortable looking sofa, not leather

No low beams or doorways - DH is very tall

Big comfy beds
Reliable WiFi
Heated towel rails
Outdoor area with decent seating
Fully equipped kitchen with proper wine glasses

no pets allowed
Enough beds
Dishwasher
Parking
Privacy

2 good beds, bedroom can be closed with a door for DS sleeping
Public transport nearby
Washing machine if more than 5 days
Individual host not a business, decent reviews and looks clean
Not doing the extra payment of deposits scam

Washing machine!
Everything else is negotiable for me. I haven’t been on holiday without a washing machine in over 10 years and I can’t imagine having to pack for 2-3 weeks without the option of washing clothes.

Another one with a tall husband, so a king sized bed without a footboard is a must.

Power outlet by the bed for DH's CPAP machine

Off road free parking

Good WiFi

Walkable amenities

Quiet

Outdoor space

Lots to see and do in the area

I don't go on holiday to do washing, but will use the washing machine if I need to and can get clothes dry.

I CBA with barbecuing. It's too much of a faff.

Sorry six.

Beds definitely one Kingsize or SuperKing bed and one twin bedded room or three bedrooms overall.

If it looks tastefully and comfortably furnished decent sized sofa and well photographed new or recent looking bedding not too cluttered, too chintzy, too minimal or worn/dated.

Easy walking distance to a nice/good reviewed pub or restaurant.

Nice area with owners not living on site i.e. not a farm cottage with owner living very close by as don’t want to be bothered or feel spied on.

Two toilets in the property.

Excellent reviews.

Sorry also want no footboard on the bed and parking.

Area
Own garden (I immediately reject "shared garden" - and so often it's not explained how many others will be sharing it)
Off-road parking
Enough bedrooms
No pets

Washing - if holidaying in the UK for more than a couple of days, I usually have a service wash at a launderette (drop it off one day and pick up the next). Worth every penny to come home with clean clothes.

Number of beds;
Parking;
Outside Area
Outside Garden Area;

We have got all of these things wrong in the past. Once, we booked late and could only get a cottage with a sofa bed for eldest DS. He hated it, and had nowhere of his 'own' to unwind, etc.
We have booked a place where parking was not available outside, but in a nearby public car park, for which we had a weekly pass. But never again, as too far to carry stuff.
There have been a couple of occassions whereby parking was on the road outside, but in those cases there was space for this, (remote house; no one else would park there), but now I would try and go for offroad parking. The same house (with parking in public carpark) had no outside garden/patio at all, so now I know to find somewhere with at least an outside patio, but best have been those with gardens.
We usually prefer to stay in different locations, but went to one place in Norfolk 3 times, as it fitted all the criteria, and plenty around for DC to do.

Enough bedrooms
King size bed in at least one of them
Quiet location (not on main road)
Log burner if going in winter
Private parking

Washing machine/ dishwasher/ no pets allowed are all definite plus points as well, but the five listed above are must have for us.

I agree with a lot of the requirements above, e.g. comfortable mattresses and proper wine glasses, but those are usually things that you find out after you arrive.

1. Off street parking that is a sensible size and easy to park in.

1. Walking distance (2km) to a shop or pub.

1. Nice bathroom with a decent shower and water pressure and plenty of hot water

1. Comfortable beds.

1. Garden for kids and dogs.

When I lm on holidays I don’t like driving so close to eg beach / forest, and pubs/cafes/shops is a must (or on a reasonable bus route)

Id like there to be a bit of outdoor space. in terms of the actual holiday home I’m not too fussy beyond a decent bed and a strong shower. I can make do with the most basic of kitchens for breakfast and likely to have charcuterie/picky tea depending on if the local shop is a farm shop or a coop. ;)

We have booked a place where parking was not available outside, but in a nearby public car park, for which we had a weekly pass. But never again, as too far to carry stuff.

We stayed in a flat in Tenby one year with no on site parking. One of us had to get up early every morning to feed the pay and display machine in the car park down the road (You couldn't pay for more than 24 hours at a time). Never again.

No pets.
Enough bedrooms for everyone going.
At least two toilets.
A shower - sounds obvious but we stayed in one place with a shower attachment on the bath taps. I thought it would be ok for a week but it was awful.
Owners who are nowhere nearby.
Nothing shared with other people (garden, pool etc).
Comfortable sofa and armchairs to relax in the evening.
An oven big enough to cook more than one thing at a time and enough baking trays.
Dishwasher.

Depends, abroad location -walking distance to shops/ bars/ restaurants, a private pool (or access to a shared pool, bedrooms, outside area and distance to airport.
in my home country, mostly as above except swap out airport and pool and change with allows lets as is want to take my dog.

For a UK holiday it has to be,

1. Detached, we don't want to be hearing noise from next door.
2. At least 3 bedrooms, all with proper beds. (even though there's only 3 of us)
3. Off road parking.
4. No dogs allowed.
5. At least 2 bathrooms, preferably 3.
6. A separate area where my son can set up his PS5, yes we do let him take it on holiday.
7. A garden.
8. Nothing shared with anyone else.
9. A dishwasher.
10. It has to be modern looking, we don't like old cottages.

My list of requirements does narrow down the amount of holiday homes available but we always manage to find somewhere that ticks all the boxes.

Enough comfortable seating for everyone. Not a 2 seater sofa and then bloody dining chairs.

half decent pillows and bedding. No poly cotton.

some basics in the kitchen including cleaning things.

washing machine. Dishwasher

Large comfortable bed
washing machine
parking
not too far from decent supermarket
no children

I've started doing laundry towards end of holiday. Quite like coming home with clean clothes. But not essential

Has some character, whether that's modern and funky, traditional, quirky, whatever, it's just not a 'normal' apartment.

Nice view, somewhere where I can sit out and eat meals / read my book

Walking distance to shops, preferably lovely little independent ones like a baker and butcher etc!

Enough bedrooms, preferably ensuite for mine!

Nice pub nearby

1. is it a residential area? I would never stay on a residential street. It’s so easy to get carried away in the holiday spirit and forget the impact you’re having on the people who actually live there.
2. — 5. as above

King size bed

Dishwasher, as I've had too many holidays where previouys guests didn't wash pots and pans properly. Grim

Helpful if a small supermarket nearby

Otherwise, provided the house is clean, we're pretty flexible

Something you can actually cook on. Just about to vacate an Airbnb with a terrible induction hob. As soon as one ring gets hot, it automatically drops the temperature of any others that are on. It took an hour to cook pasta and sauce with sausages on the side (one vegetarian in the group) for six people. Wish I were kidding.

We're on holiday, we don't want to cook three course meals every night, but we also can't afford to take all six of us out to dinner every night for a week!

Enough beds and no footboards because they are challenging for tall people. We were zooming in on all the bed photos before booking.

Parking and/or transport links.