To have given the lady running this stall an honest answer

[comeandhaveteawithme]

Yesterday I was with my kids at a local event, there were several stalls there, some vendors, some charities promoting and fundraising. As we passed the cats' protection league and a lady popped up and said "hello, do you like cats?" and I answered "no".

It wasn't an aggressive "NO" it was a casual, very slightly cheery, slightly apologetic "no". Just an honest and polite and answer to her question - or so I thought and intended.

She said "Oh... OK.. well do you like dogs?" and I answered "yes" and she said, "oh that's good, so you do like animals then?" and I said, "yes, mostly". And then I had a polite glance around her stall, I said "enjoy the rest of the day" and she said "you too" and we moved on.

My DH and 12yo DS can't believe that I told a lady from the cat's protection league that I don't like cats and that it was really rude.

I don't think I was rude, but I am an honest person, and I gave her an honest answer.

So what do you think? rude or not?

Disclaimer This is not a debate about liking or not liking cats. Please do not derail the thread. I will not be discussing my reasons here. We have recently had a cat opinions thread, go there if you wish.
If you really can't handle it, replace the word cats with "chocolate". A lady from the chocolate protection league asked me if I like chocolate - You can do this!!

She asked you gave an honest answer. Not everyone is a cat person. A few years ago I was approached by a chugger selling joke book for what they claimed to be a charity. So what they asked me if I had a sense of humour I decided I didn’t want to engage in conversation said no and walked away.

Why bother approaching a cat rescue stall? I don't like lots of things, e.g craft beers, craft gins, I seem to manage having to avoid telling them at fairs that I don't like them.

No you wasn’t rude, you was just honest when she accosted you. It’s not your job to worry about protecting the charity representative’s feelings. If it’s upsetting for her she should quit.

Not rude.

I find the charity booths really awkward at fetes.

I didn't "approach" a cat rescue stall. We were looking around the stalls at an event, we were strolling along past them all.
As we strolled past this one, a lady stepped out, leaflet in hand and asked me if I like cats.
And yes - she specifically asked me. I think she might have thought the female of the group was her best bet.

We weren’t there, the 2 people who were, said you were rude. Ask them? Was it what you said or how you said it.

Personally, I think honesty is fine.

Not rude at all IMO, and clearly she wasn’t offended anyway. I might well reply the same if asked that question by a Cats’ Protection representative, despite being a big cat lover with 3 cats of my own. I hate being approached by charity representatives.

You are very self opinionated. Why would anyone be interested in whether you give an honest opinion? Ever heard of small talk. You kind of pad it out. Sorry, no, I am not much of a cat person.Your family were right. Also, who are you to tell people how they should and should not respond to your post. You put it there so put your seat belt on and experience the ride.

I always say I don’t like dogs, cats, kids etc because it’s the only response you can give that doesn’t lead to more questions.

Nope not rude and it’s a shame DH can’t be appreciative of the thoughtful way you conveyed your negative response. It’s good imho also for DS to observe that there are polite ways to be truthful even if the person in question is not expecting it!

Do the people you were with realise she want asking you an honest question, but a loaded one? Its a sales tactic called an 'opening' and the best thing you can do is fend them off, otherwise you are wasting their time.
Openings mimic normal social interactions, and that gets my goat.

With you on that. Don't really like cats either (except Pusheen.) Guinea pigs however... 😍🥰 (And ravens, crows, spiders, snakes, rats, bats, and various other creatures that get a bad rep.)

No it’s fine, I had a guy trying to sign people up to a dog charity. I’m really not keen on dogs so it’s not something I’d do. He looked aghast at me. I wasn’t rude, I just said that I didn’t like dogs.

It’s fine to answer yes or no to a question

I’ve voted YANBU. She asked and you answered.

It might possibly have been more tactful and less blunt to say something like ‘I was brought up with dogs actually so am probably more of a doggy lady’

But you’ve not done or said anything wrong.

If she had been from the dogs protection league and asked me if I liked dogs I would’ve said “no I hate them, and it really annoys me that they’re everywhere now”. You weren’t rude at all OP. (YABU to not like cats though haha!)

You have been told in the past that you can say the wrong things and also that you can be too blunt

by whom?

What's rude is how pushy some of these charity workers are.

I know they have a job to do but they often overstep.

Exactly! “No.” Is a complete sentence.

In my opinion, YABU for not liking cats as they're amazing.

However, those shite loaded questions are used by people as blatant manipulation, whether it's 'Do you think that children should be fed and safe from harm?', 'Do you love your children?', 'Do you care about Our Veterans who have Served Our Country' or 'Are you intelligent?'. It's designed to manipulate you into agreeing with them for the oncoming marketing/sales/political party spiel/chugging approach.

So she deserved it.

I had a chugger knock on my door and ask me to set up a direct debit for a breast cancer charity. I was not in the position to do that. She looked me up and down and said “well let’s hope you never get it”. I was in the middle of treatment. When I said that she couldn’t disappear fast enough. I should have complained, but didn’t have the headspace or the energy at the time.

Reminder - these are your kids - anything you do or say in public is wrong or an embarrassment. If you had said yes that would probably have been wrong too!

Depends entirely on tone.

It was blunt. But she did ask a closed question.

I get told all the time I’m very blunt. Apparently it’s the tone. I think you’re supposed to give a ‘sympathetic head tilt’ and let people down gently.

Yes I have "the tone" sometimes it isn't intended to be rude I just think it is how I am,