To have given the lady running this stall an honest answer

[comeandhaveteawithme]

Yesterday I was with my kids at a local event, there were several stalls there, some vendors, some charities promoting and fundraising. As we passed the cats' protection league and a lady popped up and said "hello, do you like cats?" and I answered "no".

It wasn't an aggressive "NO" it was a casual, very slightly cheery, slightly apologetic "no". Just an honest and polite and answer to her question - or so I thought and intended.

She said "Oh... OK.. well do you like dogs?" and I answered "yes" and she said, "oh that's good, so you do like animals then?" and I said, "yes, mostly". And then I had a polite glance around her stall, I said "enjoy the rest of the day" and she said "you too" and we moved on.

My DH and 12yo DS can't believe that I told a lady from the cat's protection league that I don't like cats and that it was really rude.

I don't think I was rude, but I am an honest person, and I gave her an honest answer.

So what do you think? rude or not?

Disclaimer This is not a debate about liking or not liking cats. Please do not derail the thread. I will not be discussing my reasons here. We have recently had a cat opinions thread, go there if you wish.
If you really can't handle it, replace the word cats with "chocolate". A lady from the chocolate protection league asked me if I like chocolate - You can do this!!

What I don't like is that insistent way of stating/asking things e.g "cats are lovely, aren't they" or "you like cats, don't you" as you have to be quite assertive to disagree. If it's just an open question "do you like cats?" then surely you can answer honestly any way you like. Obviously, it is socially more acceptable to soften the negative response with a chuckle or a smile but I don't think you were rude at all and if the stall lady thought you were she needs to grow a thicker skin.

They could have just said “I’m more of a dog person” maybe, if they didn’t want to come across as blunt.

The sellers and chuggers you get in town centres are so much worse. I didn't mind this lady so much, we were at an event and were specifically taking a walk around to look at the stalls, so it was a completely different vibe to be accosted while minding your own business in town.

I was much ruder to a woman trying to sell me sky TV in town when current 12yo was a toddler. He was having a huge tantrum, screaming and hanging off my arm as I tried to get him to walk along the street, when out of nowhere some lady appears and tries to ask me about my "current provider" I said, angrily, "do I LOOK like I want to be sold something at the moment?" she looked sort of downcast and walked away. I felt a bit bad but WTF, why would you do that?

In some situations it's rude to give an honest answer. This isn't one of them. It's weird that some people think 'direct' automatically = 'rude'. You weren't a guest in her home where she was hoping you'd coo over her adorable new kitty; you were passing by her stall and she was trying to get you to donate money.

Unless your tone was hostile ('I HATE CATS! FUCK OFF!') -- then you absolutely weren't rude.

I fucking love dogs but I still say I don’t like dogs when these people try to stop me.

Were DH and DS embarrassed and a bit pissed off?

or was it “that was rude mum” and then forgotten?

To be frank, I would probably have answered no too -- and I am a cat lover who supports Cats Protection.
But I don't want to engage further - and she would have probably tried to get me to increase my monthly donation anyway, it would have been part of the script.

No, they were laughing as they said it, and exaggerating for comic effect. They weren't angry or embarrassed.

I'm actually not a rude person at all, generally. I'm actually really chatty and polite to everyone (except that one time with the sky lady - see above), so I think they were surprised.

People - charity scammers - who ask you if you like cats or children etc are using emotional manipulation so I say no to
Everything they ask

It was a yes or no question. Of course you weren't rude.

YANBU - I hate these charity stalls that want to draw you in with conversation - If I wanted to donate to your cause I would - If I wanted to know more about it I would ask but I don't expect to be harassed by people trying to get money from me. (And yes I don't actually think it sounds like you were harassed but I had someone last month ask if I was worried about breast cancer going into morrisons, when I answered no I'm not they actually said well you should be - you could have it right now and be dead next year... in front of 2 of my kids aged 7 and 10 who needed a lot of convincing that I wasn't going to drop dead suddenly.

I don't like dogs or cats and would have said the same. I'm not going to set up a monthly direct debit so they're better off chatting with someone who is.
It would be more rude to have chatted politely for 10mins and then left, as she could have missed the opportunity to sign up other people who are interested in financially supporting the charity.

OMG people are so touchy these days - will the younger generation ever reach the real world or stay forever in a tiktoky happy land of fluffy kittens and cute dogs

What was she supposed to say? "No my darling, I wish I did alas, chonkies is not my thing"? That would be overly gushy.

I had this. Some charity guys opening gambit was “Do you like dogs?”. Clearly expecting most to say yes and then he would persuade you to part with your hard earned cash. I replied no, and he seemed completely taken aback. Surely plenty of people say no. Actually I do quite like dogs but his approach pissed me off. I’m with you OP. Some charity folk get on my absolute nerves.

Dh too

The thing is no one on this thread heard your tone, but if the tone was right , no not rude.

Her own husband and child thought it was really rude.

Woah… you’re the Op who wants their MIL to refund them for the hair products that airport security removed from your child’s bag even though your MIL was paying for you child to go on holiday with her!!!

Yep, you were called insufferably smug and cheeky on that one, so now I do wonder what your tone was

Your disclaimer is ott and sounds rude

An honest reply is fine.

🤣🤣🤣 I don't know why this is funny to me. You're allowed to not like cats! Sounds like you've raised a thoughtful kid . Just let it go

I always tell my kids if you don’t want to hear me answer, don’t ask the question. If her patter relies on you saying yes then that’s on her not you!

Not rude at all ❤️

Are you often told you're too blunt? DD1 is autistic and comes across as rude but she can't help it and doesn't realise what she's doing.