To have given the lady running this stall an honest answer

[comeandhaveteawithme]

Yesterday I was with my kids at a local event, there were several stalls there, some vendors, some charities promoting and fundraising. As we passed the cats' protection league and a lady popped up and said "hello, do you like cats?" and I answered "no".

It wasn't an aggressive "NO" it was a casual, very slightly cheery, slightly apologetic "no". Just an honest and polite and answer to her question - or so I thought and intended.

She said "Oh... OK.. well do you like dogs?" and I answered "yes" and she said, "oh that's good, so you do like animals then?" and I said, "yes, mostly". And then I had a polite glance around her stall, I said "enjoy the rest of the day" and she said "you too" and we moved on.

My DH and 12yo DS can't believe that I told a lady from the cat's protection league that I don't like cats and that it was really rude.

I don't think I was rude, but I am an honest person, and I gave her an honest answer.

So what do you think? rude or not?

Disclaimer This is not a debate about liking or not liking cats. Please do not derail the thread. I will not be discussing my reasons here. We have recently had a cat opinions thread, go there if you wish.
If you really can't handle it, replace the word cats with "chocolate". A lady from the chocolate protection league asked me if I like chocolate - You can do this!!

It’s fine OP! I would have said the same.

I like cats. I'm not keen on dogs. So if someone on the (say) Dogs Trust stall popped up and said "Hello, do you like dogs?" I'd have said no, and qualified it by saying I'm a cat person.

I've noticed these charity stall holders often do this. There's one at the supermarket who says "do you like dogs?" I always say no and that's the end of it, I can't imagine they are offended.

I think that’s fantastic. Well done, she did ask! I say that as someone who generally likes cats.

I am a bit straightforward like that. Sometimes im not "allowed " to speak to people 😂 you answered a question I see no issues.

I think pet ownership is unethical, which means people think I’m Satan in disguise.

I mean you could've just said, 'No thanks!' I guess. But was it rude? Eh. Not in my book. One could also argue that she's being rude in trying to engage you in conversation instead of letting you approach and do so if you were interested.

What a bizarre thing to even give a second thought to

You did nothing wrong

bloke at work was showing a colleague his puppy photos, new member of staff was sat next to colleague so he said ‘do you like dogs’ all ready to show her the pictures

she said ‘no’

his face 😀

I don’t think you were rude. She asked a question expecting a Yes, to get your attention. You answered No, which was honest, and also told her, assuming she was paying attention, not to waste time selling you on Cats Protection .

I find her further questions re did you like dogs/ animals pretty rude, especially her judgement laden ‘that’s good’ . But you resisted the temptation to say ‘it’s Charity muggers I hate most’ which is what I am thinking…

How would you suggest OP answered the question?

You saw it was a cat rescue stall, it wouldn’t have hurt you to just say yes would it?

I don't think it was rude, although maybe a bit blunt.

However, your DC and your DH know you and given the way you're posting on here, I can see why they thought you came across as rude.

Not a big deal, but probably a bit embarrassing for them.

What would your family prefer you do? Lie and say yes then have her try sell you something or get you to donate for something you don’t like. I’d of said no too because I do t like cats. I wouldn’t lie

No issue with this. when a man on a dogs trust stand asked if I liked dogs I said not really before the sales patter started (and I walked off). At the end of the day they don't care if you do or do not like the animal in question - they just want your direct debit details.

I'm very rude to these people when they come chugging at my door.

"Do you care about starving children" - "Not even a little bit" and shut the door.

What you did wasn't rude at all, it's all part and parcel of what she does.

I was at a local country park last week. There was a stall at the entrance and a man approached me with a cheery "Hi, can I give you a leaflet about the dog show next week?" The words that came out my mouth before my brain engaged were, "Not a chance I'm coming to a dog show!". So at least you weren't as rude as me.

Really she shouldn't ask unless she is prepared for some to say no.
Lots of people dont like cats.
I think people being honest is good. And its good to teach your kids not to lie just to save a bit of a awkward conversation. Or because its what you think someone wants to hear .

If you really can't handle it, replace the word cats with "chocolate". A lady from the chocolate protection league asked me if I like chocolate - You can do this!!

Ha ha that’s funny. I was all ready to click YABU you don’t like cats who need help, of course YABU.

Then I got to the bottom bit of your post, quoted here. And yes, you win, YANBU! 👏🏻 😂❤️

She's trained to pitch people and she knew to turn it into, you like dogs, so you like animals...she was doing her job and is used to rejection in every imaginable form.

The dogs home chuggers near me are very sweet, but all they do is talk about coffee. I said she should work in a coffee shop, she said she used to! But no attempt to get money off me?!

One guy asked me if I was going to be watching the Olympics. I said no. He said why? I said I have no interest. He laughed, I laughed. As long as you're warm and friendly even if you don't want to talk. They are human beings after all, doing a crap job.

But she wouldn't have minded one bit. It's just part of life being a charity mugger.

If you don't want an answer to a question, don't ask the question!

Exactly this. Consumer psychology 101. This is how all the chuggers are trained - to get you to quickly answer a closed question, in a positive way, so that it opens up a dialogue. It's much more difficult to then have to turn a positive into a negative (I like cats but I don't want to sponsor one, or whatever).

I once had a chugger spot my '[name] University' hoody when walking down Princes St, Edinburgh, and shout over to me 'Hey, did you go to [name] University?!' Luckily I had already seen them so just responded 'No!' - he was so taken aback all he could do was laugh as I walked past him.

Well I like cats and I'm highly offended!!!

Ok - not really. Well I do like cats but am very well aware that some people for whatever reason does not and their dislike doesn't offend me. (unless they are massively rude about it of course.)

Seems like you have a reasonably civil and very short conversation and that she wasn't offended to no harm done. I'd tell DH & DS precisely that.

Absolutely fine. Don’t dwell on a perfunctory comment

It's seems rude because we usually are not so honest. You're right though, it's better not to waste her time. (Also, often fundraisers are being paid and work for different charities so she may not actually like cats either)