To think feminism has started excusing bad behaviour in women the way patriarchy used to excuse men?

[WryCoralCritic]

It used to be “boys will be boys.” Now I hear “she’s just setting boundaries” or “she’s living her truth” as excuses for poor behaviour. AIBU to think we’ve swapped one blind spot for another?

Yep. Same meat, different gravy. 🤷‍♀️

I have never heard those terms used to excuse eooor behaviour

I don’t think having boundaries is poor behaviour. Some might take it that way if a woman isn’t deferring to others, putting her own needs last, or not “being kind” (aka doing what someone else wants her to).

Yeah, women involved in porn being glorified and the recent Lilly Allen attention seeking stunt regarding abortions.

Rachel from accounts lying on her cv, tanking the economy and somehow no one can criticize her because doing so is apparently misogyny.

There are many more.

I think it's more likely that people would objecting to women setting boundaries and seeing it as bad behaviour because it's still not typical of women.

Examples?

It's not, but like anything else the concept can be stretched to be used to explain/ excuse poor behavior.

women involved in porn being glorified
Can you be more specific?

and the recent Lilly Allen attention seeking stunt regarding abortions.
You mean when she said how many she has had? So you are not pro-choice? Or you are apparently pro-choice but you want those women to suffer unbearably with their choice?

Rachel from accounts There is your misogyny. Right in that phrase.

Congrats OP. Your point has been proven about 5 posts in.

What exactly is the poor behaviour though, what is being excused by using those phrases? Is it really poor behaviour or women setting boundaries and not accepting shite

Perhaps you could give an example.

Congrats, @Charlthg . You have proven you cannot provide evidence or reason. Not something I would personally brag about…

How is it feminists who are saying Rachel from accounts and glorifying porn? Isn’t that just the same old musogeny ?

I mean things like rudeness being brushed off as ‘boundaries’ or selfishness reframed as ‘empowerment.’ That sort of thing.

Can you give an example? I’m not sure I’ve seen boundaries used in that way.

That's very vague and context specific. I dont really understand what you are asking.

But again rudeness is a judgement call, what 1 person calls rude another wouldn't. Selfishness isn't necessarily wrong either.

These sound more like 'unladylike' behaviour than bad behaviour

Again, be more specific. Are you expecting a woman to drop their own plans / needs / do something for someone else without argument, and in them saying no you take as selfishness?

is saying no rude?

what sort of thing?

I don’t mean genuine boundaries. I mean when the language of boundaries gets used to justify being selfish or cruel. Same with “living your truth”, sometimes it’s just dressing up bad behaviour in empowerment terms.

But you aren’t giving any actual examples so how can anyone actually judge

Sorry, what?

Lol at these oh so obvious incel threads... try harder fellas... 😂

I guess you have just had some bad experiences OP and you are generalising from that - and all isms start from incorrect but easy generalisation

Define "poor behaviour"? The phrases “she’s just setting boundaries” or “she’s living her truth” are perfectly reasonable applied to a woman who is merely claiming the right to be not treated as a doormat, which generally men expect to claim by default. Have you seen these phrases being used to excuse a woman actually evading her fair responsibilities eg refusing to look after her own kids? Cos that would be CFery not feminism.

No, I don’t mean saying no or having needs. I mean when someone is actively rude, unkind, or dismissive and then frames it as ‘boundaries’ rather than just admitting they were being unpleasant. There’s a difference.