To think feminism has started excusing bad behaviour in women the way patriarchy used to excuse men?

[WryCoralCritic]

It used to be “boys will be boys.” Now I hear “she’s just setting boundaries” or “she’s living her truth” as excuses for poor behaviour. AIBU to think we’ve swapped one blind spot for another?

Except it hasn’t, has it.

Ok now link that to "feminism"

By using a:
" Jane beleives she is a feminist
because of ABC and
as a result if that she carried out XYZ bad act
and
then said "trust me its feminism not a bad act"°""

kind of example?

Who defines rudeness as “setting boundaries” and where does feminism push this?

It sounds like you are a man who has experienced this from women?
I think when women assert their boundaries and put themselves first they are often seen as rude and selfish whereas men doing exactly the same get away with it because of the way society has been structured up until now.

It would help if you could give a specific example of something you think is genuinely “rude” which the person described as “setting a boundary”.

It’s hard to know what you mean when you are so vague.

I still have no idea what you mean as there are no examples and unclear what any of that has to do with feminism?

YABVU.

In a world where misogyny is at a high, young men and old are watching porn that makes them thinking choking girls and anal sex is the norm, inbreds like AT have millions of followers, VAWG is a scandal, people are calling girls who’ve been groomed and raped by male gangs, prostitutes, we need to support women.

We recently had to go through a SC case to confirm in law that yes, yes only biological women Are women, and only biological men are men.

Women need to support women and good men to need to support women.

When VAGW is reduced, and maybe when 2 women a week aren’t killed by males, we can look at the details of ‘feminism’.

That's very subjective and depends on perspective. Can you give an example of selfishness?

That’s cultural nothing go do with feminism. In some cultures being humble is not seen as a virtue particularly. In yours, it is.

Neither is right or wrong.

No, I think that's utter bullshit. Patriarchy still gives men a pass for pretty much everything. Which is not to say that all women are all sweetness and light all the time, but it's an illustration of how the smallest pushback against an oppressor class is seen as making the oppressed "worse than the worst of them".

Quite. Reading some posts on here is depressing.

I think it is limited to women (mainly young women) with regards to openly flaunting this narcissistic self-obsession with their looks. Eg. Shamelessly setting up ‘photoshoots’ where they get their boyfriend to snap a million photos of them in different poses, which is of course, driven by social media. It’s rare you see men doing this. And maybe young men are obsessed with their looks too, but it’s not socially acceptable for them to be open about this. So why is it not shameful for women to be this self-obsessed? This isn’t about feminism, I’m a feminist. I care deeply about equality, ending DV & sexual assault by men against women etc, but this is a misinterpretation of feminism imo. Also, I don’t think anyone can deny the fact that 99% of people you see doing these self-obsessed photoshoots are women. It might be social media that’s driving this but the reason young women are no longer embarrassed to spend half an hour posing with a selfie stick in public, is because they’ve been sold a false idea of feminism imo

I think that’s just your confirmation bias.

Plenty of fitness account on social media of men showing off their “gains” (cue multiple topless shots of them flexing various muscles.)

What are you talking about? You really need to provide examples op.

💯

Do I think feminism has started excusing bad behaviour in women the way patriarchy used to excuse men?

Oh, yes, absolutely 💥

Feminism is the cause of everything aggressive, assertive, authoritative, confident, criminal, disobedient, ignorant, ill-mannered, independent, individual, strong, successful, raucous, rude, powerful, unattractive, unladylike or unsubtle done by any woman.

Patriarchy used to be the cause of men's bad behaviour until it was called out (by feminists). After that, it stopped making men behave badly. Some men have continued to misbehave, however, and it is now unclear what causes this. It will probably turn out to be feminism.

Glad you've brought this to our attention, OP!

I think that does occasionally happen, but not particularly associated with feminism. More with a sort of hyper-individualistic philosophy, probably coming from a certain American therapy-speak. 'No one owes anyone anything in this life!' (sometimes used to imply that we don't even owe others basic consideration) and '(Any help that I give you) is a gift and not a right!' I think the biggest difference between this and ordinary boundary-setting is that the latter is usually clear and consistent- 'I am happy to do X but not Y' - while the former is often used to justify capriciousness and letting people down at the last minute: 'Yes, I know I agreed to do it at that time, but now I don't want to any more, and it should be my choice!' But I don't think it's commoner in women than men, or that it's a new phenomenon: the most extreme examples that I remember were in the 90s.

You’ve been asked multiple times and apparently cannot give a single specific example.

Yes yes and yes to all that 🙌🙌🙌

I'm sure some women use those terms inappropriately, people will always have rationalisations for bad behaviour. I'm told that women care a lot about other women's opinions, so they may have more reason than men to go out of their way to paint themselves in a good light.

I don't see that it's fair to blame feminism, even if some phrases are borrowed from there. People will borrow phrases from wherever they can, the misuse of a phrase doesn't mean there isn't also a valid use.

I don’t think it has anything to do with feminism. I also think women are pretty pleasant and reasonable most of the time. If there is a rise in bad female behaviour, I really haven’t noticed it.

Not at all. That’s not Feminism you are seeing in action but more likely the effects of a culture saturated in pornified images of women sold and eagerly received as evidence of our ‘empowerment’.
This cynical exploitation of the theme started around 40/45 years ago, just as young women were hacking out new paths for themselves (free of old gender expectations, for example) but then, SPLAT!!
The patriarchy and commerce joined forces to stamp all this out, and almost overnight we had a twisted new mantra asserting that promoting sex in any and all situations was an act of bravery and sisterly empowerment. Binary gender ideals became ever more important (and look where that has got us, in terms of teenage misery)

To get back to our ‘moutons’ a bit after that waffle, I fail to see how Feminism managed all the yobbish upheaval it’s credited with while at the same time did naff all in terms of stamping out many of the perils we read about here, daily, where women are in thrall to the weakest and least evolved examples of men and feel powerless and trapped, and often endure terrible abuse. (For a start, old school/RealDeal™️ Feminist writers were not raging on the barricades merely to see women swearing on telly or walking down the street in a bra)

Isn’t it a possibility that it’s not a question of Feminism, but one of pervasive anti-Feminism we should be concerned about?
Shouty, bratty women on telly, or eejits spouting selfish therapyspeak bollocks as a philosophical statement (never mind the much more important and worrying trend to redefine the word ‘woman’ to encompass the original bloody oppressor of course): I don’t think any of this is down to The Female Eunuch.

Women are currently being called rude for saying no to men, and being called selfish for choosing not to marry and have children. So there's some context around that.

I do often see misandry played off as "jokey" feminism.

One husband doesn't pick up his socks and then it's all "God, I hate men."

That would never fly the other way around l, rightly so.

Excellent. 🤣👏🏼
You’ve perfectly illustrated why some notions are almost impossible to satirise. What you wrote could be an opinion column in the Torygraph, for example.