To ask for tips in not feeling down as we approach autumn?

[Rougeblush]

Perhaps I should post in Mental Health but I think a lot of people feel like this to a lesser or greater extent!

Every year as we head towards the end of summer I start feeling a sense of dread. While I’m happy to get back into a routine of DC at school and work not being interrupted by holidays etc, I always start feeling low around this time with the days getting shorter already.

It seems to be worsening as I age, and this year not helped by the fact my eldest DC is off to university - while I’m thrilled for this next stage for him, I’ll miss him so much.

Would love to hear advice on what people do to minimise the autumn sadness! I know loads of people love September, but I’m not one of them 😂

Why ever not? Do what you want to do with your free time. In summer you can choose to be in our out and you’re still warm. In winter I can’t enjoy outside - or even getting to indoor activities not in my home.

I completely get what many posters are saying and feel the same. Part of it is being a 'cold person', there are people who don't understand what this means. No matter how many blankets and clothes you pile on you will still be cold underneath and it's miserable, so the cold months are miserable especially if you suffer from pain. The darkness just adds to the misery.

Here are my game changers that made a difference for me, I hope they can help others out too. I still will never 'embrace' winter, but I feel a bit 'safer' (best word I can think of to express the feeling) heading into the fall knowing I have my gear.

For warmth:

1. A heated vest (mine is Ororo from Amazon). I'd never heard of them and then got one as a gift. Amazing to have your own little heater that you can wear, made my life so much easier. I have a couple now and always have a battery charging and ready to go. No longer dread taking the dog for a walk or sitting in a cold room at work.

1. After discovering the heated vest, I then found out about heated socks (different brand), also wonderful.

1. Heated mattress pad, has separate controls for each side of the bed, so if OH is a warm person they don't need to turn their side on.

1. Heated throw that you can have on when sitting for long periods. Lightweight and you don't need a pile of blankets that still don't warm you up.

1. Heated seats in the car. My recent car doesn't have them sadly, but I discovered that Ororo sells one. The batteries from the vest are inter-changeable with the ones for the seat. I turn the seat warmer on about ten min before I'm leaving the house, take it out with me when I go and then get to sit on a nice warm seat rather than a cold car seat. That and the heated vest/socks make for a very comfortable car ride in the winter.

For feeling down:

1. Audio books have been a huge help for me. I love reading but can't do laundry, clean loos, etc while I read. Listening to a great book (must have a great narrator) takes your mind away from dreary chores especially during dreary weather. I find it best to use earbuds, so the story is right inside your head iyswim.

1. Find a series of audio books that takes you to another place/world during the winter months. The Lord of the Rings (read by the amazing Andy Serkis) is a great one. It's 60 hours (another 10 if you start with the Hobbit). It's like going on an adventure when you don't have the cash for a RL trip. Or take a tour through Discworld with Stephen Briggs/Nigel Planer. These will take you through a good chunk of the winter.

1. I could recommend a great book or series for any taste. Audio books have gotten me through so much darkness and pain. I can't think about any of life's crap while I'm listening.

Hope there is something here that can help someone out for the coming dark days.

Apologies for the strange numbering, it kept happening when I spaced it out and wouldn't change.

I really dislike winter clothing. I feel so bundled up and uncomfortable. And as for all these beautiful and elegant items that people rave about, where are they? I look like a mashup of compo and the Michelin man in a coat and hat. Summer clothes are just easy to wear and infinitely more flattering. And all the crocheting patchwork quilting crafting stuff is great if you don't have 3 kids with additional needs to take care of. I'm lucky to get to go for a wee in peace, they don't do early nights and we need to get out and burn energy off. I hate being cooped up indoors from 4 o'clock and spending weekends watching the rain run down the windows. Summer we can stay at the park until after 9.

Me too! I hate trousers and tights 🤢. I want to swan around the fields with my dog at 8pm in the hazy light in shorts, a top and my dog walking trainers not be bundled up in a duvet coat, hat, gloves and wellies with additional hand warmers, trudging through the mud at 3pm when it’s already getting dark 😡. And it’s such a pain to get all bundled up, in summer you can just pop your shoes on, grab some poo bags and off you go! And don’t get me started on scarves, horrible strangly things!

In Ireland, I think we are fortunate to experience only rarely a very cold winter. I’m in the ‘deep south’, and snow too is a rarity, so although I miss it, for most people this is another misery we are spared.
What I mean to say is that I think it’s possible to turn sadness into gladness in an anti-Winter attitude, living here, and to realise we’ve comparatively little to complain about.
Why, last Winter I managed well with no heating at all, not even in January. Even as an old and creaky creature, too. (It’s a long and ridiculous tale)

I swear our Summers have altered a great deal, and heat has increased, but we still have our very temperate colder months, and let’s remember that our legendary rainfall is bloody great for the complexion!
A sunny, crisp cold day is my idea of Heaven, and when we get one of those here (and we get a lot), I think it’s easy as well as wise to get into a habit of counting one’s blessings.
(Mind you, I’d like to know who is responsible for the apparently monthly cataclysmic transoceanic storms visited upon us these days. I’d stake everything I have on our never having had such nuisances in days gone by!)

I prefer autumn but not winter actually as I'm really fair and don't do heat. However I've had similar thoughts of the last couple of days. We've really enjoyed evening walks after dinner and noticed that it winds down our kids (6&4) enough that they are easier to get to sleep. We live rurally so we've had great fun watching things grow in the fields and counting the number of tractors harvesting.

So I've sat down and tried to draw out what I don't like about winter and tried to anticipate getting ahead of it each year. I don't like the cold so I've bought a decent coat and upgraded my hat and scarf. Shorter nights we give the kids torches and we stick to the main roads in our village. We then start seeking out the best christmas lights and rating them.

I used to enjoy Christmas when my ND kids were little but now they are late teens and fallen out very badly. They cannot be together. Makes winter difficult and Christmas day can be very lonely.

I'd recommend getting out every day during day light if you can. Volunteering somewhere outside e.g. parkrun. Having some books, films, phone calls, visits to look forward to.

September - March are the months where I really struggle. I find them very intense and heavy. I always feel nervous and stressed.

Some significant painful events have happened during these months too, so the feeling of the season always drags me back.
And the pressure of Christmas just tips me over the edge completely.
The weather during the rubbish months is awful. So many people call it “cozy season” and get excited about wrapping up with their hot chocolates whereas I don’t enjoy the cold at all.

I like the audio books suggestion....
Things we've tried....
SAD lamps (helps a bit)
Milking any nice late autumn weekends by getting to the coast for a day (helps).
Gym membership with a sauna (helps).
Booking in stimulating activities/novel things (winter Haye festival/film screenings/political talks).
A shepherd's hut/yurt weekend away to walk a bit of coastal path....
In desperate times a 4/5 day break to somewhere with sun in April/march
DH read 'how to winter' and wants me to read it, but am currently trying to manage my impending doom and sense of dread (started when I noticed it was getting dark earlier)

I’m going to spend the afternoon looking at things to book this autumn/winter

@Rougeblush I haven’t got any advice but I assume you live in the U.K.? I think that’s the problem.
The winters are harsh, dark, miserable, a cycle of dreariness that doesn’t seem to end.
Thats why I left and now residing in a really hot country where winters for me are a relief 😅
Its still sunny and pleasant but not sticky and sweaty.
I wish I could offer you advice but I can’t, except focus on the positives, dressing up in great winter clothing, indulge in some hearty, filling foods and enjoy all the festivities! If you’re healthy and so is your family then, that’s all that matters 😉

Same! And I hate having a wear waterproofs when I walk the dog then have to try and dry out all that wet clothing. Then the dog needs drying off and her muddy towels need washing. So it’s all extra work! I reckon it adds another hour onto her walks!