To ask for tips in not feeling down as we approach autumn?

[Rougeblush]

Perhaps I should post in Mental Health but I think a lot of people feel like this to a lesser or greater extent!

Every year as we head towards the end of summer I start feeling a sense of dread. While I’m happy to get back into a routine of DC at school and work not being interrupted by holidays etc, I always start feeling low around this time with the days getting shorter already.

It seems to be worsening as I age, and this year not helped by the fact my eldest DC is off to university - while I’m thrilled for this next stage for him, I’ll miss him so much.

Would love to hear advice on what people do to minimise the autumn sadness! I know loads of people love September, but I’m not one of them 😂

I love and follow football so I’m happy the new season started. Went to my teams first home game yesterday. It’s a hobby I share with my son which is nice. Also his own playing season has started so getting back into the routine of that and catching up with folk we’ve not seen for a few months. Do you follow any sports op?

I like to treat myself to some new things, some warmer stuff, new PJs, nice knitwear and hoodies etc.

Keep getting out as much as possible until the weather gets truly awful or it’s dark really early.

I actually don’t mind September to December. It’s January to March that is the bleakest time for me.

Book an October holiday

I used to feel like this. The downward slide started right after the August bank holiday. And then the Last Night of the Proms was also a reminder that summer was over. Lot of it was to do with work though, now I’m retired it”s much better and I love Christmas,hated it when I was working.

I wonder if it’s worth reframing it and trying to focus on the things you do like about each particular season. So like you say, the routine returning in September - what can you do once that’s back that you couldn’t do in the summer? What could you add in that would work really well? (For example, I love running but when it’s too hot it’s harder, and I much prefer a cool morning for that!) I am weirdly not a huge fan of summer but I try and reframe that by focusing on the things specific to the season - taking kids to the park early evening, Wimbledon on TV etc.

And then I know Jan-Apr are quite grim months for most but I try and frame them as being a sort of hibernation period ahead of Spring. Trying to take it slow, do indoor activities, go to the cinema a lot, get the house spruced a bit.

Not sure if that’s helpful but I guess I try and tell myself the fact we have distinct seasons means we always have a bit of variety & can lean into that (compared to friends in say LA where it’s just sun sun sun which sounds boring after a while… maybe!!).

It may seem counterintuitive but I like to spend as much time as possible in nature. If you feel more connected to the natural aspects of the season then I think it’s easier to appreciate them.

I lived near the equator for a few years and I hated the lack of variation in the environment, it felt so odd. Humans have always been used to having rhythms and so you just have to find ones you enjoy to mark that season and differentiate it to the summer months

another option is to think of things you hate about summer! I for one will be glad to see the back of these bastard wasps we’ve had this year.

I actually don’t mind September to December. It’s January to March that is the bleakest time for me.

@CarlaLemarchant funnily enough I'm the opposite. I get great comfort from early January onwards by looking at www.timeanddate.com to see how many extra minutes of daylight we get each day.

I feel exactly the same - just dread cold, dark and damp days

Yes, the football does make it better for me but that's not helpful if you're not a fan. I do see the light at the end of the tunnel in January. Christmas is finished with and the shortest day has gone. It's October, November and December that I find hardest with all the build up to Christmas and the forced jollity.

I agree.

September is always fine too though imo. I enjoy the return to routine in September and the disappearance of tourists (we're coastal). The evenings are still light enough and the weather can be beautiful still.

October to December are the only miserable months of the year imo. Cold, dark, rainy. People moaning about their heating bills, it's too dark after work for a decent walk, fucking Halloween which i've always disliked. Christmas is a brief bright spot but I find the run up to that wearing.

As soon as New Years Day hits, I feel energised and hopeful because Spring is just around the corner, it's getting lighter etc. New start, the best is to come.

Still loving this summer so not to wish the time away

What I can’t do is cycle, it’s too hot and have skin that burns so whimsy I can protect it in the shade sweating needs to be avoided, so during daytimes in the autumn take a camera do something creative

I declutter bits inside

do garden jobs that need resistance digging

music helps
good good helps - crumbles are great cold as breakfasts

using the darker evenings to binge good box sets or escaping into books

baths - too hot right now

red wine - not a summer drink

cook food from warmer climates curries work

find local theatre shows, cheaper and easier to navigate

take a newspaper to your local

give thanks at harvest - donate to church etc

Think about supplementing vitamin D? It can help in cases of SAD.

I can cope with Autumn/Winter because I realised eventually that I can't stop the changing of the seasons, so I have to work around it much more.

I'm retired, and I make sure to get out of the house every single day (except when it's icy or lashing rain) to walk somewhere. I prefer my own company TBH since I can then go wherever I want to! Then when I get home I'm pleasantly tired and ready to turn on the lights and pull the curtains, to settle in for the night. I live alone also, and love it so don't think I'm ever lonely, I'm not!

Some daylight in Winter is so important for well being. As others have said I was like a mushroom when working during Winter, in the dark all the time apart from the artificial lights at work. That was grim, but it never bothered me much as I just took it as part of life at the time.

Nowadays, I'm lucky I suppose. I go away before the schools break up at Christmas and come back when they are back! Just a cheapie to Southern Spain, but OMG the daylight, the sunlight, and the longer days until 6pm (especially on Christmas Day) are just so uplifting. I see my family both before and after that, we are all happy for each of us to do our own thing. Christmas can be such a pain for many, so escape is a great option, although I know not everyone can do that.

Other than that, I find things that are good for me. Everyone's different so what works for one doesn't work for others. I live about 25 minutes from the coast, so make sure to get by the sea at least once a week. Bracing and uplifting even if it's cold and breezy. Things like that, a new cushion cover, adding something great to Netflix lists, reserving a great book on Borrow Box. The little things.

Hope you'll all be OK. It won't be long before the snowdrops and daffs appear once again.

I feel the same. I often start crying once its clear the hot days are over. It's a hard time of year. Plus both parents died in the autumn. I feel you op.

For me it’s about delaying winter for as long as possible so it doesn’t feel too long. So:

• Not wearing autumn clothes too soon - I find it weird that people start wearing boots in September. I stay in summer clothes for as long as possible
• Sitting outside for as long as possible/ avoiding ‘putting the garden to bed’
• Eat summery foods
• Don’t ‘cosy’ up the house too early
• Do NOT talk about Christmas until end of November/beginning of December

Most years I can eke summer out until the end of October like this.

You are my people.

I try to have things planned to look forward to - a theatre trip, gig ( if only at local pub), meal with friends etc.

Do you suffer from SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder?

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad/overview/

There was thread last December about how people give a little cheer in December when the shortest day passes. I was one if them.

For me the worst months are November to March. Then the threat of snow and icy conditions are over, and I can start to relax. That’s my mine bugbear of winter, icy roads.

Do some stuff now that gives you a treat with summer produce in the winter-
Blackberry jelly
Strawberry jam
Damson gin
Apple/ green tomato chutney
Pickles
Chilli jam
Cooked apple for pies/ crumbles

freeze some fruit for breakfasts

I don’t mind January onwards as well. Christmas is over for another year (or should I say nine months…). The days are getting longer. The light suddenly changes; I always notice cobwebs in the house in January because it’s been dark for so long and suddenly it’s brighter. Cold, crisp, bright days are so much nicer than the relentless grey and rain of the previous months. And there’s a new year to look forward to and plan for.

I feel you OP... I catch myself thinking about the darker seasons encroaching upon us once more quite a bit now.

Things I've been doing to help myself (I get really brutal SAD):

1. Remind myself of what a bright, warm summer we've had. With that I'm hopeful I've got my vitamin D intake up for the year.

2. Make the most of the next few weeks of light evenings. Sod it if the children miss their bedtime, do it anyway!

3. Get something booked in over the winter to focus on (I tend to go for November time as it's so dark, I find Christmas a distraction and by January the days get longer again). We are getting married in late September so I'm distracted enough this year.

4. Do you have any house projects you could plan for? We have all sorts of decorating we want to get done, but tend to decorate in the winter months (because who wants to slave away painting walls in July?!)

5. Try and accept it. Get prepared. Be mindful. Be present. Try and absorb the positives of Autumn etc.

Join the SAD thread in mental health there are a lot of us! I’ll be starting the new one on September 1st 🙂 but last years is still going to some extent!

I'm just the same.The last couple of weeks it's been darker at 5 am when I get up and it's horrible.
I've sorted out winter outfits and cosy boots.
Take extra strength vitamin D
Fruity or chai tea.
September October is doable Nov to Feb I really struggle.
The best bit is to know you are not alone.

I like autumn, but dread the onset of the bleak depressed feeling I get from around Nov to March. I've got a daylight lamp but I probably need an antidepressant really, but I'm on a few meds already so want to avoid if possible.

i like to notice how the flowers and trees change season to season and take some joy in it knowing spring is coming. Have been visiting the same English heritage garden each month for this reason. Plus check bird migration. Some are arriving some leaving.
the beach is fascinating any time of year. Just wrap up warm.
enjoy the cosy indoors.
(Not helpful bit I’m not a summer person).

Some great advice on this thread. You are right, OP, that autumn is a melancholy time. You can't change that, but I agree with others that you need to get out in sunlight and nature as often as you can. First thing in the morning is best. Also a good idea to treat yourself to great books and boxsets and go out once a week with a friend. I much prefer summer, but there is something special about walking through dark rainy evening streets to meet someone you love.

I've noticed that the nights are drawing in now(as usual of course) and my anxiety levels are ramping up. It's definitely about daylight and freedom to me rather than heat. In winter you are effectively trapped in the house from 4 as it's dark, and usually wet too. I find it almost claustrophobic and restrictive. Light nights when it's dry and we can be out and about until after 9 are the best. My children are all ND and really benefit from being able to get out too, it's so much more difficult to manage everyone with less fresh air and exercise, especially after a day of masking at school. Add in all the relentless hyping up of Christmas and the seemingly endless Christmas holiday and it's more meh. And the clothes too, I hate being bundled up in loads of layers and wearing socks. I'd love it to be June all year! As for what to do about it? I don't really know. I suppose whatever you know makes you feel good and gives you something to look forward to. We're planning a day trip to somewhere new for October.

Get sunshine. If you can, go for a walk around midday everyday when the sun should be at its strongest. And have a longish walk outdoors or work out outdoors at weekends. I used to do outdoor bootcamps. Even if the weather was foul you'd come back feeling in a brighter mood in winter.

Get daylight lamps as well - there are some you can set to brighten like natural sunlight.

Can you plan a visit to see your son at uni, mid term? Maybe try and set up a regular time for a weekly Zoom call. And send him a treat every other week. I used to send DS a cake from Sponge twice a term, to share with his friends.