Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for tips in not feeling down as we approach autumn?

162 replies

Rougeblush · 17/08/2025 11:14

Perhaps I should post in Mental Health but I think a lot of people feel like this to a lesser or greater extent!

Every year as we head towards the end of summer I start feeling a sense of dread. While I’m happy to get back into a routine of DC at school and work not being interrupted by holidays etc, I always start feeling low around this time with the days getting shorter already.

It seems to be worsening as I age, and this year not helped by the fact my eldest DC is off to university - while I’m thrilled for this next stage for him, I’ll miss him so much.

Would love to hear advice on what people do to minimise the autumn sadness! I know loads of people love September, but I’m not one of them 😂

OP posts:
user1476613140 · 17/08/2025 16:21

LoveItaly · 17/08/2025 13:13

I think the OP is looking for practical tips, not to be told that not everyone minds Autumn/Winter.

Sorry got absolutely carried away with my autumn/winter fantasy craving that I forgot tips for OP🤦‍♀️

Get a SAD lamp. Lots of fun indoor stuff to get into as a form of distraction like crochet and knitting.

SunnyPrague · 17/08/2025 16:27

OP,

What is it, specifically, that you don’t like about autumn/ winter, OP?

I’m the opposite and would love to help x

MissyB1 · 17/08/2025 16:29

I’m already anxious about winter and dreading it. This is going to sound bonkers and probably quite selfish, but mud is a big issue, muddy football kits from ds, and muddy dog. My life becomes a constant battle against mud, and the subsequent bloody laundry makes me want to cry or scream or both! My house is much harder to keep clean. Then there is the darkness, the long long evenings, and days when it never seems to get light at all. I’m starting to feel panicky just typing this out!

upsofloating · 17/08/2025 16:30

Do something nice for someone else each day. Praise or thank someone at work (if it's deserved), tell someone they look great, buy a coffee for someone, send a nice postcard to your grandmother - any little thing. This helps me (so I can't pretend it's 'selfless'). Wishing you as good an autumn as possible.

Iamanunsafebuilding · 17/08/2025 16:31

I enjoy autumn and don’t hate winter but I do struggle with the dark evenings. I’m a runner so most years I sign up a local running challenge which is to run every day in November, it gives me a focus and forces me out to run in the dark. I find it bridges the transition into winter running and as the month goes on I like seeing the Christmas lights go up around where I live. As others have already said I also try to look for things to enjoy, like the beautiful autumn colours and cooler, fresher mornings.

Nothungrycat · 17/08/2025 16:32

I'm normally like this - I hate the autumn, nights drawing in, foreshadowing darker days and bad weather. However, I'm a keen gardener and this summer has been brutal for the garden, not to mention the countryside. I'm now looking forward to damper, cooler days and the promise of rain which will give everything a chance to heal. So, I suppose I'm reframing what the autumn and winter can do. I don't know if that helps??

Lifestooshort71 · 17/08/2025 16:34

I find the dark days worse than the weather. I always buy a couple of new bright jumpers and cosy leisure things to cope with the weather, but the dark.....😒 I'm retired and make a point of going out every day it's not raining; I record/save good stuff off the tv/Netflix to binge (check every week what's coming up); I rediscover jigsaws (strong light, dining table) but what really helps me through the winter, and I know this sounds daft, is I count the days down. It starts 1st Nov (in my head) and ends 28/29 Feb - they're the months that sound wintry - get to end Nov, 1/4 way through, Christmas and end Dec, 1/2 way through, Jan (snowdrops are out and days getting bit lighter!!)....anyway, you get the picture. Perhaps we can have a thread to get us thro the winter when the time comes? X

LateMumma · 17/08/2025 16:35

I started running last year, partly for fitness but partly to prioritise getting outside in daylight. I’ve found that 3 x a week really, really helped.

HelloClouds · 17/08/2025 16:38

Do you have a garden OP? I’ve ordered some gorgeous tulips from Farmer Gracy and the thought of my garden in spring will help to keep me going through winter. I plant iris reticulata and early daffodils to cheer me up in the cold months after Christmas.

hididdlyho · 17/08/2025 16:40

I'm thinking of getting a nice Autumn hanging basket and doing pots this year (winter pansies, primulas etc). I don't usually bother in summer, as I can't be bothered watering when there's a heatwave. I'm thinking with the rainy Autumn weather, I'll just have to feed them once or twice a week which I can probably keep on top of.

I've done a lot of little decorating jobs which needed doing around the house and had a big declutter, so the house feels more relaxing. I'm hoping that will help lift my spirits a bit as I normally feel awful during Autumn/Winter.

cheezncrackers · 17/08/2025 16:43

I don't actually mind autumn, in fact I rather like it, the cooler weather, the return to normal schedule, etc. What I find really hard is winter - particularly Dec, Jan, Feb. I really struggle with the short, dreary days and the long, dark nights. I'm a runner and I love to run before/after work and I'm dreading having to head out in the dark. Fortunately, I belong to a group who run together with running lights, but I'd much rather be able to head out alone as soon as I finish work, like I do the rest of the year.

I don't know what my advice to you is OP! What I do is get my head down and plough through, I have lots of lamps that I put on, I keep up my exercise regime, I take a holiday at new year somewhere sunny and I long for spring! Solidarity for us SAD-sufferers 💪

chatgptsbestmate · 17/08/2025 16:44

MissyB1 · 17/08/2025 16:29

I’m already anxious about winter and dreading it. This is going to sound bonkers and probably quite selfish, but mud is a big issue, muddy football kits from ds, and muddy dog. My life becomes a constant battle against mud, and the subsequent bloody laundry makes me want to cry or scream or both! My house is much harder to keep clean. Then there is the darkness, the long long evenings, and days when it never seems to get light at all. I’m starting to feel panicky just typing this out!

I can relate to the darkness panic. Have you encountered

https://amzn.eu/d/cpaWmF1

There's a Facebook group too

DelafieldDiary · 17/08/2025 16:45

OP, whilst the winter doesn’t really bother me, I like to book a weekend break at a nice hotel somewhere nice the weekend after the New Year. The prices are often very low and you can treat yourself to a nicer standard of hotel and room than you would normally. Just a thought. It’s not really guaranteed sunshine but it might give you something to look forward to?

ns87 · 17/08/2025 16:46

I'm the opposite, I loathe the Summer.

What helps me is trying to find good things about the season you dislike.

catsareace · 17/08/2025 16:55

We book our only holiday of the year for the end of January - we go to Sri Lanka as we love it so much and it is sooo hot in Feb. Gets us through January and as I have to work most of Xmas gives me a goal.

Zempy · 17/08/2025 16:57

I have arthritis and the cold damp weather we get in autumn leaves me in agony, and completely unable to get outside to enjoy whatever snippets of sunshine might pass overhead.

I end up chronically fatigued from the amount of painkillers I have to take, and need to try to wheedle an afternoon nap into my schedule (thank god for wfh and being able to make the time up later)

I absolutely hate October and November.

Sunaquarius · 17/08/2025 17:01

I enjoy up until Xmas. Cozy fires, twinkley lights, bonfire night, autumnal walks, Christmas. But January to March is depressing and I struggle with it.

If you can, maybe book a 2 week holiday in January. It will give you something to look forward to and January will be nearly over by the time you are back.

Also there's that seasonal affective disorder. Maybe look into that and take a vitamin D supplement.

rainsbows · 17/08/2025 17:09

I can’t wait for autumn!! Autumn and winter are my favourite. I love the dark cosy evenings. I’m so over summer now.

ilovesooty · 17/08/2025 17:11

rainsbows · 17/08/2025 17:09

I can’t wait for autumn!! Autumn and winter are my favourite. I love the dark cosy evenings. I’m so over summer now.

So do you have any advice for the OP then?

outerspacepotato · 17/08/2025 17:20

I knit a sweater or two and some mittens and socks and hats.

I'll spin some fiber and warp up my loom for a project.

I hang up some maple leaf little lights in an archway between rooms.

Declutter and switch over to flannel sheets when the nights get chilly, get blankets out. Put up heavy curtains.

Get the autumn clothes out, declutter and mend as needed.

Switch up diet to heavier, savory meals. Bake cheddar jalapeño bread to eat with chili. Mushroom and bean stews. Vegetable and bean soups. Sweet potatoes. Hen of the woods (maitake) and chantarelle and black trumpet shrooms.

Take an art class.

Lots of outdoor time. Hiking time. House isn't a furnace, so exercise isn't such a sweaty slog.

Plant some bulbs if you have a garden.

And last but not least, Pumpkin Spice coffee.

SliceofTosst · 17/08/2025 17:34

Try and get outside as much as possible.

I always have my morning tea outside and on my wfh day get out in the afternoon for a bit even if it's nipping to the shop for milk while it's still light.

I am telling myself that at this year has been so sunny and bright I have absorbed more sun to get me through longer (anything to help even if it's bs 😂).

Get something booked to.look forward to in spring next year.

I am dreading it too ..

Daughterofthesea · 17/08/2025 17:40

NOresponsibility · 17/08/2025 12:08

I love the autumn and winter time.

Me too - I actually dislike the summer season the most and can’t bare the long, light, stuffy evenings and all the hayfever and abundance of bugs.

I liked the post that suggested finding some things to look forward to in every season - good advice.
I still can’t think of anything good about summer though.

EverybodyLTB · 17/08/2025 17:41

I used to hate autumn and winter so much, especially after moving back to the UK having spent years in a hot country. I would start feeling like I was becoming mentally unwell by January and pretty much salivating over a glimpse of daylight by Feb. I got the SAD light and hoped for the best. Didn’t feel much better.

Now I really approach it like an impending apocalypse which, conversely, makes the reality of it the total opposite! I prepare for autumn and winter so thoroughly now (have done for about 8-9 years) that I embrace it and don’t hate it. I declutter and deep/spring clean, fix anything broken and often get so motivated from that, that I redecorate a room or two - in September. I treat September like a massive overhaul, renaissance of my life and book in, organise, plan and prep for September to March. This is also helped by having an academic wall calendar as they run from August to August. So I can get everything visually laid out in front of me and feel good about what’s coming up and I can always see next summer in my sights.

Feeling clean and clear and organised is great for mental health anyway, but for winter it’s a necessity almost because of being indoors more but also anything not operating at maximum efficiency will just be worse. You need guttering clean and clear, drains clear, house ship shape before it gets hammered by the weather. The actions of getting it all done seems to get the endorphins vibing and has a twofold effect to me. We’re on holiday at the moment and in quiet moments while everyone’s napping or chilling, I’m putting 30 min jobs onto my notes. If they’re longer then I break them into half/thirds or do one at a time I.e sorting and cleaning the kitchen cupboards takes more than half an hour so they get half an hour each. And I do them on different days so I don’t hate my life. I make a list of DIY tasks and deep clean and do the DIY tasks per room as I’m going along. Eg my living room I’ll deep clean but it also needs a carpet clean booked in, and there’s a hole in a sofa cushion needing mending and I’m going to change out some art work. All sofa cushions will get washed and the windows cleaned, light fittings brought down and cleaned. Will take probably two separate afternoons but will look wonderful by the end. It makes me feel better being in a house that’s all in order and spotless when it’s shitty outside.

I have a whole winter changeover as well. I’ve got more lamps, thicker sofa blankets, electric blankets, fake candles, sheepskins, etc in a cupboard where the Christmas stuff is. It’s all been washed when it went away in march so getting all that out after deep cleaning feels like I’m saying hello to the new season, as opposed to saying “why the fuck are you back again I hate you”.

I use up and then discard anything else from the freezer, defrost and start some prepping/batch cooking for the winter. Not so much standing there doing a hard slog all day, more like when I make a lasagne making 2/3, when I make a curry making 2/3 and building up a good selection over a couple of weeks. We have tonnes of fruit in the garden but what we don’t have we go picking for. I then cook a lot of it down and freeze ready for crumbles, and will make the crumble mix, too, ready to sprinkle on. I go through all the cupboards when I’m cleaning and make lists of herbs, curry pastes or grains that need topping up, I ask the kids what we love to eat in winter and start getting dry ingredients ordered in.

I get out every single day even if it’s just something simple, but I will force myself to walk even when it’s easier to drive. I’ve got proper boots and waterproof down coat, a million umbrellas and anything else to repel the weather. A bit of delayed gratification has to be deployed also. My kids wanted us all to rewatch Stranger Things now to get ready for the new series, I said no let’s wait until outside is shit and we’ve got less to do and we’ll really appreciate a cosy series to watch. I usually take them away in Feb half term to pretty much anywhere in Europe that’s cheap on Ryanair/Whizz and haven’t been disappointed yet. It’s never roasting, but anywhere from Rome downwards we’ve been able to walk about with T-shirts on and got so much just from that bit of sun and light.

I suppose I say all that to say, don’t try and resist. It’s going to happen, fake it to make it. Yours, a former autumnal doomsayer.

HelenHywater · 17/08/2025 17:45

I'm the same OP. I even dislike it from 21st June as I know the nights are getting longer from then on! The leaves outside my house are falling off now and I've really noticed the dark evenings - I had to walk my dogs in the dark on a hot day earlier this week.

But I resolved last year not to wish the winter away - I realised that I was effectively wishing a third of my life away.

For me it's the dark I think - I love the light evenings and being woken up by the daylight. That said, I have dogs and also dread the mud. I like the heat too although don't really mind the cold too much.

Last year I did keep my fairy lights up after Christmas which helped! I also bought more lamps to put on around the house so I wasn't living in perpetual gloom and doom. I also bought lots of candles. I'm not fussed about soup and stews and all of that malarky. But above everything, I think it's about mindset.

( Future, rich, me will spend winter abroad)

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 17/08/2025 17:50

Like a lot of pp, I try to fill my time with new activities mixed with old ones both in and out of the house. Too busy to notice the shorter days, or the ticking by of the days, is my theoretical challenge. I also try to mix things up with a new activity or challenge every month.
In my day to day life I try to make household chores easier - so I like to have options to dry clothes indoors if the weather excludes outdoor drying, enough clothes so I’m not pushed to get things washed and dried, use delivery for heavy shopping once every 4-6 weeks. Etc.
Then plan for nice time stuff for me - hair dressers or a night in by the fire with a good book, phone a friend for a silly chat etc.
Not saying it keeps the gloom away but it keeps it in check.

Swipe left for the next trending thread