To ask for tips in not feeling down as we approach autumn?

[Rougeblush]

Perhaps I should post in Mental Health but I think a lot of people feel like this to a lesser or greater extent!

Every year as we head towards the end of summer I start feeling a sense of dread. While I’m happy to get back into a routine of DC at school and work not being interrupted by holidays etc, I always start feeling low around this time with the days getting shorter already.

It seems to be worsening as I age, and this year not helped by the fact my eldest DC is off to university - while I’m thrilled for this next stage for him, I’ll miss him so much.

Would love to hear advice on what people do to minimise the autumn sadness! I know loads of people love September, but I’m not one of them 😂

im the opposite I really struggle with anxiety leading up to summer. I don’t know why I struggle with it, but I am looking forward to autumn. I’m starting to feel a sense of relief it’s coming. So how do I deal with summer and maybe it will help you with your struggle with autumn. I try and focus on what I like about it (there are many things and I wish I could explain my summer anxiety a lot of it I think is feeling pressureto be enjoying the nice weather and a sense of guilt if I haven’t) what things do you enjoy doing when the nights are drawing in? For me I love going out for walks in the autumn when it’s cooler and I can wrap up, I don’t tend to go out walking in the summer I don’t find it enjoyable when it’s warm. I book a sun holiday (not this year financially unviable…but my summer issue isn’t the sun clearly 😂) I try and find activities to do like craft workshops these tend to drop off in the summer months. My advice find the positives and lean into it.

I struggle more with Christmas (which I hate) and I feel terrible, I really struggle in January and February, I don’t start feeling better until late March ish

i get out as much as as I can in those months, not so easy in the week but on weekends and on those weeknights when it’s cold and dark I have things to do on the evenings, whether it’s a craft at home or out somewhere.

im on my own( bar 2 older teens) and I find the winter quite hard to deal with at the beginning of the year.

id suggest getting out in the fresh air as much as you can, not easy with the nights drawing in I know

Maybe it’s the focus on the wait for something in the future. You could try to focus on the present and the day to day things that bring you joy, regardless of season.

OP, have you tried a light box for seasonal depression?

I love all your suggestions ❤️ thank you so much…and of course, good to know there are people out there who enjoy winter 😉

I will definitely try to get out every day. I work from home but do have a dog - DH often goes running with her but I will be insistent that we should also do a walk! I think I will keep going to the expensive barre and yoga classes that I treat myself to in the spring - it’s so good for my health and mood.

Because of money and middle DCs GCSE mocks, I don’t think any winter sun getaway will happen, but I may book in some little UK breaks, just to have stuff to look forward to!

Love the idea of ‘spring’/autumn cleaning, decorating the house for winter and planting bulbs. I also tend to read more books in the summer but will keep that up too.

I also read that Davina McCall sits outside with a coffee each morning first thing, I might try to do this too, rather than drink it in bed!

I feel you op. I love the light, not so much the heat if it gets above 25 though. Summer evenings are my favourite. Whether meeting friends, taking dc out for a stroll and ice cream or just relaxing in the garden.
Autumn is ok but winter is not for me.
I try to embrace some of the stuff that people go on about like reading, watching movies, finding nice warming recipes.
I have to mix that up with lots of walks outdoors, meeting friends and booking a few things here and there like a day trip, booking a show, ice skating and exhibitions.

Yes OP forgot to add that to my ramble - prep the outside for a morning coffee. I have an oodie and then I have a mega thick oodie, which I usually only use to go out the back in. I have a chair that’s plastic with sort of rubbery lines as the seat if that makes sense? As in it’s like a string chair, which makes a good winter seat as it doesn’t hold water or cold which would defeat the object of going out in the garden to enjoy it. Fur lined crocs by the garden door. I go out there on school days when I get up with the kids as they don’t technically need me. I shout to ask if they’re all coming down, get a load of mumbles back, put a coffee on, then go and sit out in my fat marshmallow oodie for as long as I can hack the cold. Then come back in to the house feeling all fresh and ready to start doing fun stuff like reminding my kids about PE kits and wiping up crumbs!

Totally agree. I love Spring, like Summer but spend Sep-Dec planning Christmas to get through. I hate all the viruses that pop up from September onwards, hate being too cold, have never really liked Halloween and suffer from SAD. Getting up earlier, walking somewhere beautiful and focusing on nice Autumnal foods (e.g. apple pie, casseroles etc) helps me a bit but mostly it's just a period to get through!

Another thing to add, warming (‘scuse the pun) to my theme. I don’t know if this is right for everyone but until a few years ago I was militant with the thermostat and I’m a person who cannot stand being cold. Since speaking to a few people and trying a different approach, I wish I could get those cold years back! I now have a permanently toasty house and it costs no different because the boiler doesn’t have to work hard to regain temperature at say first thing in the morning and hour of an evening. My bills are really no different and I don’t hate the inside of my house which I used to curse into hell every winter for being shit and cold. I don’t know the science or the anything behind any of this theory, so don’t hate me if it’s bullshit, but it’s been true for me. Heating your house sparingly but fully, is no different financially than having it constantly warm. I think. And it’s better, if you can afford to experiment on it.

I relate a lot to this OP and many replies. I think my views are pretty similar@Bryonyberries- quite like September (over the years I have realised i find august quite hard during the bits when when we aren’t on holiday - even though I don’t have much childcare juggle anymore, I just hate being the one going to work when the rest of the house is on holiday mode), don’t mind October, but hate the darkness so struggle after the clocks go back. I used to detest January (and to a lesser extent February) but now I find both easier as you can notice the light coming, especially towards the end of January. I also like the quiet after Christmas. November is def the hardest for me. We went to southern Spain in October half term (2 weeks for us) for 3 years in a row which really helped extend the summer, but November did hit with a thud. We didnt go last year as couldn’t afford it and are in similar situation this year, I’d rather go but the gradual build go autumn has its advantages too.

Anyway, what helps me get through it;
having things to look forward to in the diary (like
gigs, nights out, theatre, visits to family - I have a couple of these in for September and Oct already)
doing art (I’d rather be drawing after all )
doing stuff around now/in early sept to make the house better for winter (starting next week my husband is planning to paint kids bedrooms and we are getting some new furniture for the hallway)
lots of good telly
noticing the evenings getting slowly longer (from January onwards)
buying a couple of nice pieces of autumn clothing (or making an effort to enjoy what I already have)

Another one here who hates Christmas. I don’t mind Autumn although it just seems to go downhill as the weeks go on.
I used to start the New Year with best intentions; diet, exercise, new routines etc and felt thoroughly miserable, while January seemed to go on and on and on. This year instead I “gave myself permission” to just chill that month. No goals, no resolutions, just chilling. I loved it! It gave me something to look forward to in November and December, knowing I had this coming up, where I would feel no guilt for lots of early nights, lots of vegging on the sofa after work etc. I will definitely be doing the same again this year.

As we head towards Autumn/Winter I have joined the local leisure centre - no crazy gym bunny promises, but am aiming to go to a yoga or Pilates class each week and maybe a swim and sauna at the weekend.

Ive also spoken to a couple of other single friends who, it turns out, feel a similar way about the dark nights ahead, and we have started going to a weekly pub quiz.

I find a SAD lamp really helps.

Jade3450 · Today 13:56

For me it’s about delaying winter for as long as possible so it doesn’t feel too long. So:
Not wearing autumn clothes too soon - I find it weird that people start wearing boots in September. I stay in summer clothes for as long as possible
Sitting outside for as long as possible/ avoiding ‘putting the garden to bed’
Eat summery foods
Don’t ‘cosy’ up the house too early
Do NOT talk about Christmas until end of November/beginning of December
Most years I can eke summer out until the end of October like this.

I think this really works for me. I see people getting ready for autumn in September when it is still really warm. I try and keep summer going for as long as possible. Last year I was still running in shorts until December before I had to crack out the leggings!

Get a SAD lamp, find something creative that you enjoy doing or get a dog! But definitely something creative or just something you enjoy, it’s easy to lose ourselves in busy life working and bringing up kids. Re-engaging with yourself is so important as the kids get older

No. It’s about physically finding cold and damp difficult and depressing. Imagine saying ‘it’s all about mindset’ on the endless ‘summer is horrible with its light and warmth’ threads.

Crochet and knitting are about as far from fun as I can possibly imagine. SAD lamps on,y help if light is the issue. For me it’s the cold. .

It’s. Cold.
i know I’m not the OP but I don’t like it because it’s fucking freezing and damp and my joints hurt and leaving the house is a faff and staying in all the time is depressing and I’m cold and fucking miserable all the fucking time and extra clothes are uncomfortable and don't actually make me warm because my hands and face are still cold and heating the house is fucking extortionate.
Any suggestions?

I hate gardening. It’s housework with wasps (and other creepy crawlies).

I take vitamin D supplements and have an alarm with a SAD lamp that gradually gets brighter from 30 minutes before the alarm time set. I also have it set to play the radio rather than a blaring alarm sound. It really helps me get up on dark mornings!

And I can’t think of anything good about winter. Perhaps we should swap. What do you like about it?
For my contribution I love summer because
it’s light
it’s warm
I don’t have to faff about for ages before leaving the house - just slip feet into sandals
Leaving the house doesn’t make me feel shit
my joints don’t hurt

Oww. If your house is really, really cold and this is making you really, really miserable then I’d say it’s a real priority for you to make your living conditions warmer.

Turn up/ on the heating - economise somewhere else
Buy plug-in heaters for the sitting room and bedroom
Electric blanket on the bed
Electric fleecy blanket/ throw on the sofa
Get warm AND comfortable clothes - soft trousers (elasticated waist) and cashmere jumpers, scarves and hats (from Vinted, perhaps)

But in the long term, would you consider moving to a place that is cheap and easy to keep warm a cosy? A new/ new-ish property with good insulation, a modern/ efficient boiler and double-glazed unit windows?

Wait, summer ends on the 22nd of September and then we might have l'ete Indien

I am also very much a summer person and feel slightly short changed this year as I've spent too much of it indoors due to kids taking exams. I also feel this sadness creeping in as the evenings get shorter.

Some helpful suggestions here.

I did read Wintering by Katherine May, and found it interesting. I like the idea of an autumn clean and declutter so the interior of the house is ready for winter. I already have heavy throws and electric blankets to get out.

I love hot yoga and this is the one thing that is actually better in winter as you go out and get the rush of cold air. Also plan to book a nice hotel with a sauna etc for some point over the winter.

But yes, I do feel I have to work to like it at all.

I feel like end of August/ start of September has a real feeling of ending for me, the way no other month does. I mourn summer being over.

I can't be arsed with being cold. Having to wear tonnes of clothes and pack wellies, hats, gloves etc to do anything.

I enjoy cosy and have some autumn traditions with friends. Pumpkin patch, fireworks etc.

I love the feel of Christmas but hate the planning and shopping. Every year I try for only buying for the children in the family but my in laws are Christmas mad. They are a huge family and I literally find a sinking feeling at having to plan ideas for presents every sodding year.

And its cold. I loathe being cold. My son has raynauds and ADHD. Hence has freezing hands and feet but can't tolerate hats or gloves, so shrieks 10 minutes into a walk october- February.

Oohh I like you! Good thinking.

Can definitely relate to this. The nights are drawing in so much, and the trees are looking much more orange. I despise autumn. Literally hate everything about it. Will now be in limbo until April next year. I bloody hate autumn and winter and it makes me want to cry each year. I dread it.