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Original poster

First night away with new boyfriend - should I be wary…

108 replies

AnnaJ89 · 16/08/2025 18:17

I went away with my boyfriend of 4 months last night and was a bit taken aback by some of his ‘habits’ let’s say. Prior to this, all has been going great with no red flags.

He booked the night as a treat for me. A few issues:

-He street parked a 15 minute walk away so we struggled along with bags because ‘the hotel had no parking’. Turns out it did have parking, but he felt it was a rip off at £15 a night. I’d have happily chipped in if I knew in advance.

-I went in to the bathroom to get ready and there was thick hairs in the sink. I pointed this out and he said he was grooming ‘down below’ and had forgot to clear it. Eww

-We had a really nice meal in the hotel restaurant. I casually remarked my side was a bit lukewarm but still really tasty. Despite me saying not to, he made an issue of this to the waitress much to my embarrassment.

-He used the loo this morning and left the door wide open , shouting out to me whilst sat there for what felt like 10 minutes.

Would you give the benefit of the doubt or take this as an early warning?

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 16/08/2025 18:20

I'd get the ick tbh 😄, i'd just be pissed off

But these aren't things that cant be fixed

Was he nervous, maybe? x

Ponoka7 · 16/08/2025 18:20

It depends on the night you've had. I'd go through what I wasn't happy about and what I find completely unacceptable, such as toilet door open. His reaction will give you your answer.

SnackAckerTack · 16/08/2025 18:21

Ew

Big ick!!

PringlesTube · 16/08/2025 18:21

Ew no. Throw this one back.

Whataholiday · 16/08/2025 18:22

The hair in the sink is gross and would put me off.

ChocolatePodge · 16/08/2025 18:23

Tight, mean and revolting habits, I don't see these as small issues 😬

JLou08 · 16/08/2025 18:24

The public hair in the sink would make me feel sick and may put me off! The others aren't too bad and the hair issue may have been a genuine mistake. I'd also rather walk 15 minutes than pay 15 for the car park unless it was absolutely throwing it down and blowing a gale. I'd give it a bit more time.

SummingUp · 16/08/2025 18:26

YANBU however I don't think these are showstoppers if you are both younger. Just give him a bit of feedback. If over 30 though then yes worrying!

TennisLady · 16/08/2025 18:26

AnnaJ89 · 16/08/2025 18:17

I went away with my boyfriend of 4 months last night and was a bit taken aback by some of his ‘habits’ let’s say. Prior to this, all has been going great with no red flags.

He booked the night as a treat for me. A few issues:

-He street parked a 15 minute walk away so we struggled along with bags because ‘the hotel had no parking’. Turns out it did have parking, but he felt it was a rip off at £15 a night. I’d have happily chipped in if I knew in advance.

-I went in to the bathroom to get ready and there was thick hairs in the sink. I pointed this out and he said he was grooming ‘down below’ and had forgot to clear it. Eww

-We had a really nice meal in the hotel restaurant. I casually remarked my side was a bit lukewarm but still really tasty. Despite me saying not to, he made an issue of this to the waitress much to my embarrassment.

-He used the loo this morning and left the door wide open , shouting out to me whilst sat there for what felt like 10 minutes.

Would you give the benefit of the doubt or take this as an early warning?

Point 1 - he should have just said the parking was free/way cheaper than saying no hotel parking, but in a new relationship I can see why he didn’t want to say that.

Point 2 - gross

Point 3 - he shouldn’t have said something if you said not to but also us British are really weird about raising issues with food in restaurants.

Point 4 - don’t think that’s an uncommon one in relationships when one half is comfortable. If you’re not keen you just need to say so, if he continues doing it then yeah that’s a problem.

LondonLady1980 · 16/08/2025 18:26

I had a boyfriend once who I’d been with for a few months and then he treated me to a weekend away.

I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom one morning and he walked in, sat down on the loo and started having a shit right next to me. Whilst I was brushing my teeth!!

I was nearly sick, I honestly just couldn’t believe he was doing it.

I obviously stopped brushing my teeth straight away and walked out.

I never saw him again….there was no coming back from that.

Whataholiday · 16/08/2025 18:28

I wouldn’t like the hair in the sink nor the toilet thing either.

Brendathebear · 16/08/2025 18:30

I'd rather walk that pay £15 per night. Pube maintenance in the sink would have made me go running to the hills, but chatting with the door open whilst having a poo? That is sacred territory and one I still haven't encroached with my husband despite being married for 20 years.

Deffo red flag, he should still be on his best behaviour 4 months in!

DoYouReally · 16/08/2025 18:33

Stingy, poor hygiene habits and speaking on my behalf when asked not to....Any one of these would put me off.

Just no. There's better available.

Catwoman8 · 16/08/2025 18:43

Parking - he hotel might have been really expensive and he didnt want to ask you to contribute? Unless he is generally tight about everything.

Hair- gross , however I have shaved my legs in the bath before and forgotten to clean the bath immediately after, it could have been a genuine mistake, but yeah not nice to see!

Toilet- He didnt use the toilet whilst you were in the bathroom which is a big no no for a lot of people, but even chatting can be uncomfortable. Tell him you don't like it.

Restaurant - it is a very British thing to not make a fuss, a lot of people get embarrassed about complaining about poor food, I don't know why though.

Peaceandlabradors · 16/08/2025 18:45

mumofoneAloneandwell · 16/08/2025 18:20

I'd get the ick tbh 😄, i'd just be pissed off

But these aren't things that cant be fixed

Was he nervous, maybe? x

Point of all of this out and just say we aren’t compatible. You have permission to end a relationship for any reason - any one of these is reason enough.

LegoTherapy · 16/08/2025 18:46

Ruuuuunnnn!! Toilet and pubes are a big no. Revolting man.

AgnesX · 16/08/2025 18:46

Yuk to the personal habits but being a snot to the waiting staff is unforgivable.

And as for being tight. He didn't even think to drop you off first. Yup, more red flags than at a windy beach.

DeedlessIndeed · 16/08/2025 18:47

The parking thing would really irritate me, unless extenuating circumstances. Why fork out for a nice hotel then cheapen the evening by making you vary luggage 15 mins for the sake if £15? Then lie about it? Don't be cheap or at least acknowledge you are going to inconvenience me for money, so I can offer to pay instead.

The pube one IS gross, but I wonder if the context (e.g be was self conscious he hadn't showered and you were about to DTD, so in the excitement he rushed and forgot to clear up?) Why didn't he just hop in the shower though?

The restaurant would embarrass me. Don't be rude to people. But if it was just feed back raised politely then I'd be fine with that. Disrespectful he ignored your request though.

But the open door poo one would be tge immediate gross misconduct / your in the bin moment. I've been with DH 10 years. We've renovated multiple properties and been without bathrooms / doors etc a number of occasions. But I'd never just sit and have a conversation mid-shit. Have some dignity FFS.

YesImaman1100 · 16/08/2025 18:48

Tight, manky and a bell end....

Bin him.

namechangetheworld · 16/08/2025 18:50

The only one that would remotely bother me would be the open toilet door, but that's resolved in about 8 seconds with a quick "Ugh, close the door you minger!" Maybe he had an ex who was comfortable with things like that. Some couples are odd open like that. It would only be an issue for me if he kept doing it after being told.

BondAway25 · 16/08/2025 18:53

YesImaman1100 · 16/08/2025 18:48

Tight, manky and a bell end....

Bin him.

This is to the point!

Rainallnight · 16/08/2025 18:57

People are supposed to be on their best behaviour this early on in a relationship. How manky, tight and rude is he going to be a year in, when he relaxes?

Flamingoknees · 16/08/2025 18:59

These are all things that can be easily addressed.
The only one worrying me a little more is the parking. He should of been honest. Any more signs of being willing to spoil an experience to save a few pounds would be off putting - unless he's doing his best to trear you on a small income.
On balance - I'd give him a chance to respond to anything you discuss.

nomas · 16/08/2025 19:01

He’s got too comfortable too soon. Dump.

FinallyHere · 16/08/2025 19:04

With two of you, why wouldn’t he drop you and the luggage at the hotel, go snd park then meet you in the hotel lobby?

Leaving hair in the basin and the door open isn’t great, but lugging luggage through the streets when there are two of you just seems well, unnecessarily stupid.

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