First night away with new boyfriend - should I be wary…

[AnnaJ89]

I went away with my boyfriend of 4 months last night and was a bit taken aback by some of his ‘habits’ let’s say. Prior to this, all has been going great with no red flags.

He booked the night as a treat for me. A few issues:

-He street parked a 15 minute walk away so we struggled along with bags because ‘the hotel had no parking’. Turns out it did have parking, but he felt it was a rip off at £15 a night. I’d have happily chipped in if I knew in advance.

-I went in to the bathroom to get ready and there was thick hairs in the sink. I pointed this out and he said he was grooming ‘down below’ and had forgot to clear it. Eww

-We had a really nice meal in the hotel restaurant. I casually remarked my side was a bit lukewarm but still really tasty. Despite me saying not to, he made an issue of this to the waitress much to my embarrassment.

-He used the loo this morning and left the door wide open , shouting out to me whilst sat there for what felt like 10 minutes.

Would you give the benefit of the doubt or take this as an early warning?

Dear god the level of acceptance in these responses is terrifying. All four of these examples are deal breakers OP. LTB. Run. Now.

The first one - completely with him on not paying £15, but he could have/should have dropped you and bags at the hotel and then he park. It’s not tight it’s looking after money so you can spend it more fruitfully.

Surprised so many think it’s tight! Standard procedure in our house!

How old are you both? If you are both young then I think some of this could be forgiven as his mum may have molly coddled him cleaning up after him etc. Of you are late 20s/30s + run! Speaking from experience with bad habits you try to let slip, they only get worse with time and you are still very early on in your relationship. To be having a shit with the door open and leaving his pubes in the sink is just revolting.

We’re early 30’s so not an age where I’d overlook easily

The toilet one is grim. No coming back from that one!

The toilet door open would have had me packing..

£15 a night parking is ridiculous! I'd be with him on parking and walking, although I might have suggested he drop me off or I might have felt that was a bit rude. And one/two nights. How much luggage really do you have?

The pubes thing is gross but I'd have told him to come back and clean up. I've definitely cut my fringe and left hairs behind even after trying to clear up (and in the shower with legs etc). He was trying to clean up downstairs for you...

Was he rude and aggressive to the waitress or did he just say "well, Anna's starter was lukewarm" when asked if everything was OK. Presumably quite an expensive place so you'd expect it to be cooked properly. Nothing wrong with raising an issue with undercooked food providing its polite

Eh, I know MN has a whole thing about pooing and talking but eh it's not always a thing for some people

Leaving his pubes in the sink is disgusting. As is his attitude that someone will clean up after him. Get ready for a lifetime of cleaning up his toilet skids and scattered pubes or save yourself the hassle and throw him back. Life’s too short.

Ah nothing like a romantic night away... arriving at a hotel hot and sweaty because he's too stingy to pay for nearby hotel parking, walking into the bathroom to find a sink full of his pubes, watching him behave like a cock and embarrassing you in the restaurant.

What a turn on! I bet you couldn't wait to rip his clothes off when you got back to the room after dinner. And again the next morning once he'd finished having a shit with the bathroom door open.

Truly, the stuff nightmares dreams are made of...

He should have dropped you and the bags at the hotel and then gone to find parking.

The hair stuff is totally gross and I would have made my disgust known - raised eyebrow at least.

The restaurant: you really should have spoken up and insisted. Men speaking for women is a worrying sign of controlling tendencies. Nip this in the bud.

The loo - OMG I would have firmly shut the door.

Are these instances indicative of a LTB situation? Each instance on its own might be excusable but collectively? I’d say go with your gut, but it certainly is very close to a dealbreaker.

Yeah I’d throw this one back. In his 30s but doesn’t want to spend £15 on parking? But then I can’t abide stingy men.

I would bring this all up with him, and see what he says, that will be very telling.

£15 for parking when there's free parking not thst far away?

Not stingy, savvy in my book

The pubes in the sink and using the toilet for a poo with the door open are grim- the latter would probably be enough for me to stop seeing the person.

The parking miles away is just tight and unattractive.

The incident in the restaurant would have embarrassed me too- so unnecessary.

I would take this as an early warning sign, as a PP said things will get worse.

I don’t want a man who would make me lug my bags around for 15 minutes to save £15 on a romantic night away. Not for me. But you do you.

Men groom their pubes now ??
All these things are deeply off putting. He’s on his best behaviour at the moment, imagine how it would be if you lived with him…. Ughhh.

Turns out it did have parking, but he felt it was a rip off at £15 a night.
The dishonesty would have pissed me right off. He could have said parking is ridiculous, Ill drop you off and find cheaper, but he chose to lie a lie that would be found out in ten minutes. It is immature.

he said he was grooming ‘down below’ and had forgot to clear it.
You dont forget as you do it immediately before you leave the room. He isnt used to cleaning up after himself.

he made an issue of this to the waitress much to my embarrassment.
Attitude towards wait staff is something people are told to watch for on a first date. So yes that is a concern.

He used the loo this morning and left the door wide open , shouting out to me whilst sat there for what felt like 10 minutes.
Nope.

Walking 15mins wouldn’t bother me.
If you were only going for 1 night then you wouldn’t have had much luggage.

Him not washing his hairs away is grim and I would be annoyed.

Depending on how he spoke to the waitress, would depend on if I had an issue with it.
You had an issue with your food which is why you mentioned it and then he told the waitress - which is a common thing to do.

The sitting on the toilet with the door open - I wouldn’t have allowed it to go on for 10mins.
I’d have just told him to shut the door the grubby twat and made a joke of it.
Lots of couple have the door open.

Unless he was rude to the waiter, then none of these things would be a deal breaker.

Its good you’re looking for red flags but no one is perfect and so I wouldn’t throw this one away just yet.

GRIM!!! 🚩

So gross. Had you not spent the night together before tho?

Pubes in sink a no no, as is door open wht uding toilet. Parking i would have just been honest about cost.

Haha sounds like my DH. He pooped with door open from about three weeks in. I mean, I can see why it would bother you, but I don't care.

He should have factored in £15 parking into the cost of the stay. No way would I want to walk 15 minutes to save £15 on a supposedly romantic night away. Tightness is a big red flag unless you are also a tightwad.

Raise your bar @AnnaJ89 and throw this one back, yuk.

Maybe have a chat with him about the stuff that concerns you I wouldn't just bin him off because a bit of a pubic hair in the sink or he parks his car away from the car park men in general are just weird creatures but I would possibly just have a chat with him if it bothers you