It’s not my fault I have to go and get water

[Longoverduelibrarybook]

Does anyone find this attitude odd

Dh off work and Dd wants him around a lot

He went to go and pay a bill this morning and forgot to get water and Vimto.
When he got home I asked about the drinks and he said he’d forgotten and would go and get them.
Dd started making a fuss saying she didn’t want him to go back out as he’d only just got in.
He said ‘It’s not my fault I have to go and get water’ to which Dd said to me ‘It’s your fault!’

I said ‘It’s nobody’s fault that we need water
and drinks for the house hold, just like when I have to go and get shopping (90% of the time it’s me)

Does anyone else find this an odd thing to say?

Why?
is the OP the default problem solver in the house?
is it ok fur her dh to never take responsibility ‘because OP could have done it instead’.

If it’s the way you live your life, you might want to learn to grow a backbone because I can tell you, you’re taken advantage of if that’s your automatic reaction.

That’s why I said MIGHT @Longoverduelibrarybook

A big assumption on my part but she certainly has learnt you’re the bad wolf that stops her from spending time with her dad.
Which is a big issue in its own

EDIT
Just realised, I assume the dd was your STEPdd and his dd (but not yours) hence my assumption.
If she is your dd too, then it’s an even bigger issue

YANBU, op. Ignore the posters with poor reading comprehension.
it was nobody’s fault but his own that he forgot the drinks so needed to pop back out and get them. It’s a trivial thing, but failing to be responsible for your own mistakes is a poor lesson for a child - your DD seems not to have fallen for it anyway.

She’s my Dd, I don’t think she doesn’t want me there or I hope not 😔

I really hope too! Sincerely, that would be awful.

id just get worried your dh is creating that culture (for want of a better word) where you’re the bad guy. You’re the one stopping her/them having fun. You’re responsible (but never him), you’re the one stepping up (but never him) Etc etc….
When he says somethimg like this, I would push back with something like ‘yep. Youre the one who forgot to stop and buy the water 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️’.

Yes I totally get what you’re saying, not fair to always be seen as bad cop

No it isn’t, next time this sort of thing happens instead of saying it’s nobody’s fault, why not be honest and say something like “well you are the one who forgot it though!” Push back on the narrative that daddy is fun and never to blame whilst mummy is the one who steals their fun.

100% thank you 🙏

Nobody needs to get water. Ridiculous waste of money and plastic. Tap water is super safe in this country. In fact bottled mineral water can actually be bad for babies. If you're fussy you can get a Brita jug and keep it in the fridge.

Lol

Oh dear god. A brita jug would not save our water here from parasites. Not everyone lives in a country with safe drinking water. Like the OP. And like ME.

“this country”?! The internet is not a country and has no water supply, safe or otherwise.

Mind you, the assumption that the OP is in Britain and most likely has lovely northern water on tap is understandable in the context of Vimto being the other missing essential, but Wikipedia tells me it’s also popular in the gulf Arab states, The Gambia and Senegal. So I’ve learned something from this thread.

😂

What exactly about this makes you think i a) have heatstroke, and b) need a wobble? Did you manage to read to the end of my post, guess it might have been a little long for you?

She's in her pj's, takes 2 minutes to throw on going out clothes, jump in the car. Leave him to deal with the other things she was planning on doing. - which he isn't going to do, because it's easier for him to go back out and get the water, than cleaning and other chores she has planned.

Don't know really. I guess I agree with her to an extent, if you have outlawed the drinking of our perfectly good tap water.

Is squash essential? I agree with others that you should probably just put up with tap water until you next go to the shops.

Much Ado about Nothing I think!If this is all you have to worry about ,you are very lucky. Don't think you should read anything into his comment. He was just calming hid dd down as he had promised to play with her. Why didn't he take her?5 mins away.
Frankly if it was causing problems,I would have gone myself. It all seems so petty.

I very much doubt he would have stepped up to do the chores she was doing.
I mean the reason why he was going on about being forced to go out again is because of his dd.

So if the OP had gone put instead, hed have spent that time with her. Not doing the chores.

Oh fair enough, can't take chances. Stock up well in future, can you have it delivered?