Would you ever tell off someone else’s child?

[Ellaalltheway]

If the child was doing something dangerous or spiteful that was affecting your child? Parents nowhere to be seen and not intervening.

Have you ever been in one of those situations out and about where another child is doing something spiteful/annoying such repeatedly pushing in a queue, bothering your child or taking their stuff, or even doing something dangerous.

Like for example I was at the park and a small child was going round with a big tree branch whacking all of the play equipment while it was being used. Or another time my child was taking their turn on something and another child tried to physically take it off them.

Do you speak up and ask the child not to do it?

Yanbu - you would speak up
Yabu - say nothing

Yes, with no apologies.

Yes, happily.

Absolutely and I have done in the past. If a child is being nasty or violent towards my child then I’ll say something, whether their parent is standing there or not.

I would keep it to a pleasant ‘no thank you not safe’ as I took (snatched) the tree branch. Or a ‘go find your adult now please’ if they were bothering me. Or ‘no thank you not nice’ if they were pushing.

In a que at legoland my 7 year old autistic don kept prodding a woman in front of us ankle with his foot. I held him.back and kept him by my side telling him absolutely pack it in. When the ride stopped I turned away from him for a few seconds to see if we would be getting on the ride and he did it again..the woman turned round and gave him such an angry glare even I disappeared up my own arse almost. If she had said something I wouldn't have blamed her. And I didn't take him on any more rides after that

Yes, without hesitation.

If you don’t parent your child, someone else will. Not a chance in this world would I stay silent while some brat hurts mine because the parent is busy doing something else.

“Disappeared up my own arse” 😂

Haven’t heard that for years. Will definitely aim to use it more often.

Yes of course. I had 6 kids including my two at a soft play and one decided when it was time to come out to run off … I gave them 2 mins then went in. They saw me coming and scarpered but .. well I caught up. They knew I knew and were told don’t do that you’re making it unsafe for everyone. Told their mum who agreed not OK!

There are ways of telling off without appearing to do so - perfected that a lot at toddler groups - distraction or gentle no we don't do that and distraction or sometime just going and standing nearby.

I did once open my front door on a bad morning to find a child swimg on a tilted forsale sign in our garden and just shoute oi - that was all I did. Child climbed down and said sorry. Then mother got to bottom of garden tried to make out I was fussing about gravel being kicked and tried to have a go at me - she got short shrift but worst reaction I ever got.

Having not seen her before saw her around loads next months -- she had no control was banned from the corner shop as he boys destroyed things. DH saw sign get knocked over by kids swinging on it - boy had a bump and mother tried to drag sign up drive mainly I think as DH was stood arms crosssed watching from window- I didn't see but assume it was same family - woman looked extremely sheepish.

I wouldn't reprimand in a strict way or raise my voice or be stern...I might say in a calm kind voice something like 'no hitting thank you" or "let's be kind please" depending on what was happening.

Absolutely I would. Obviously I wouldn't go ott but I always used to intervene if a kid was doing something they shouldn't with no parent in sight.

I had no problem with other adults doing the same with my kids either.

Yes, if their parents aren’t doing it. Told off a kid in sandpit the other day for chucking sand around everywhere as it got in my son’s eyes. Parent just smiling benignly. Said ‘please stop doing it it’s not nice to get sand in other children’s eyes, is it?’ Child stopped but parent was very affronted, and said ‘well it’s a sandpit what do you expect?’ 🙄🙄

I nanny so I am frequently telling other kids off for crashing around the baby areas in soft play or not being mindful of smaller children. 90% not malicious but they just forget themselves, parents nowhere to be seen. Told child off for repeatedly kicking back of my seat on train too, my three year old knows that’s not acceptable but of course her answer was ‘he’s not even four what do you expect?’

If you’re not going to adequately parent your child, fair play to expect someone else to intervene in my opinion.

Did so once when a child was throwing stones at mine

and only then did fhe parents notice with a who the hell do you think you are

i was very calm in the circs

Yes
Yesterday
Young child riding bike in road
I sounded car horn several times
Child laughed & continued to ride on other side of road
Sounded horn again

The next person may not be so patient & cause an accident

Should have been on the pavement

Yes absolutely there’s no need to be unkind or aggressive but absolutely if somebody’s affecting your life with their behaviour doesn’t matter how old they are they can be told

Yes I would (and have) in a respectful way.

Yes and I am perfectly if someone had to tell my own child off if they ever have needed too

Yes and I have, told off a little boy who was chasing water fowl in a park. His mother didn’t appear to care.

If necessary I would, but I’m not sure your examples are good ones. Whacking play equipment with a branch could just be that child's idea of a game, unless it was done to be deliberately intimidating or was threatening the safety of the other children. Trying to take something off your child is obviously wrong and could merit your interference, but it’s unclear whether your child managed on their own to keep the item - it’s far preferable for children to sort things out fairly themselves if possible.

Obviously it’s different if there is any danger or real bullying involved.

Yes, absolutely. But reasonably nicely at first, and if that doesn’t work, not so nicely, with what dds used to call my ‘scary eyes’ face. ‘Do your scary eyes face, Mum!’ they would say, then squeal and hide behind the sofa cushions!

Ugh, I hate this and I call it out too, usually met with a response of ‘they’d fly away if they weren’t enjoying it’ 😡

Would I intervene verbally? Definitely.

Would I intervene physically with another person's child? In line with the law, I would only physically intervene if there was risk of serious harm to the child, other children, or a crime was being committed (otherwise it can technically be classed as assault, just s it would if you grabbed an adult). Most likely I'd just move my DC away from the child.

Yes of course.

Yes I told off two boys who were at least 8 years old and came into the under threes section at soft play. I’m not too bothered about older children coming in if they’re sensible but these two were running around and jumping off equipment. One of them knocked over my two year old and made him cry so I told them they were far too big to be in there and needed to leave. They did leave but their mum encouraged them back in a few minutes later, half heartedly warned them to be careful of the smaller children and then disappeared to get a coffee on the other side of the building while her children were running around and jumping next to toddlers. This soft play has a massive area for older children so I don’t understand why so many of them feel the need to be in the toddler and baby sections anyway. It drives me mad.

Yes I would, but you tend to get the mother marching over and having a go at you for daring to tell their little darling off.