I don’t like going for walks or to the park, I want to look around shops

[tohaverealisediam]

on Sunday I was feeling like the walls were falling in on me and just needed to get out. This is where my husband usually suggests a walk or taking the kids to the park- I find this so boring.

I realised that what I want to do, most it the time when I’m feeling like this- is just go and mooch around a couple of shops, get a coffee or lunch, maybe buy something new- nothing big necessarily, but maybe a little lamp or a new candle or something. This makes me happy. Going to the park, really doesn’t make me happy at all. It just doesn’t stimulate me whatsoever.

I am happy to take the kids to the playground of course, but parks or walks just bore me so much. My husband much prefers going for a walk. I don’t mind a walk so much if it’s in an amazing scenic location, in fact I do enjoy it. But I just don’t enjoy it when there’s not much to see.

I know that most mumsnetters love a walk etc and that’s great, but does it not just under stimulate you ?

it’s a bit of a struggle as obviously my husband and I have different preferences.

we ended up going out for a bit, going to a couple of shops, getting dinner out so I didn’t need to cook and clean up.

I am just so bored of staying in all weekend with two young kids and the only thing we do is maybe go for a walk, that’s all my husband wants to do as he finds going out stressful.

Give a rough idea of your area of the UK OP and bet people can send you loads of ideas that you could sound out with your other half

I absolutely love walking. Could, and do, walk for hours. I’m a bit cba to drive somewhere nice but I’m very close to open countryside and can walk to a small country park. My next best thing is having a coffee there. I love going out for a coffee. Shopping - not so much. But we are all different and that’s not a bad thing.

I always wondered why the shops were so crowded and also how people could possibly have money to spend week after week. Now I understand that it’s a leisure activity for many.

I’m with the walk in nature crew. Although as a PP said, I’m a sucker for a garden centre. Now I’m a bit older, I really can’t stand crowds.

Walk around a city is my preference. Let me see the results of human craft and ingenuity. Mundane and decorated, industriousness abounds.
The countryside is empty, waiting to be built on.
Probably not all will agree.

The countryside is empty, waiting to be built on.
Probably not all will agree

You reckon? 😃

If you think that the countryside isn’t fully as sculpted and created by human beings and their needs as the town is, you should probably be a bit more observant.

Is there anything you enjoy doing for yourself that isn't buying things?

Do you have any interests? If not, that could result in you being a bit bored. Do you have a liking for anything like art, film, music, history, architecture, sport?

Shopping is a common response to being a bit bored, but it doesn't really alter the underlying boredom, just distracts from it temporarily.

I love a walk around a city and enjoy human creativity, but the countryside is absolutely not empty and waiting to be built on, that's an unusual take.

Agree. I love walking around cities. Clocked up major steps walking around cities of the world. But the countryside is equally enjoyable and ever changing

I hate the idea of 'going for a walk' , it seems pointless. That being said I average about 5.5 miles a day walking but that's walking to and from destinations (gym\supermarket\train station etc) not just meandering. If it's urban I enjoy looking at the people, shops and buildings. If it's rural I enjoy the scenery but have to listen to an audio book to occupy my mind.

I absolutely hate wandering round shops though. If I know I want to buy something I'll visit the appropriate shop or shops, make my choice and move on. Just looking for the sake of it bores me silly.

It does sound like dopamine addiction to me - only being “soothed” by buying something you don’t need in the shops, and spending money on coffee/ food out. It’s a very expensive way to spend your time.

There is, of course, an element here of you and your DH just enjoying different things. Personally, I’m with him and would not enjoy you idea of fun, whilst I love walks. Can you vary where you go for said walks?

How much “mooching” can you do with young kids realistically? Shopping is the definition of a restricted space, whereas on walks they can run around.

I agree with others, this is a really odd take.

I find shopping very boring, but love walking, or any other active thing like cycling swimming etc. Guess we are all different.

I don't see the problem. You go and do what you want for a few hours and dh can stay in with the dc or take them for a walk. Meet up later. Your well-being is just as important as the rest of the family.

It’s true that children need lots of space to run about or otherwise use up energy. I always used to try to incorporate an opportunity for that, even on urban strolls or visiting museums / galleries.

Same. I prefer walking down Regent St than through Hampstead Heath!

I am able to control my buying. And can easily spend a few hours ‘shopping’ but just buy nurofen or nothing at all. I can afford a coffee at the M&S cafe.

I feel zero guilt. Walking through nature is not for me. I get too bored.

My favourite holidays are city breaks. Discovering a new city and wandering around the old and new bits, finding little squares, nice cafés, interesting architecture. Give me that over a woodland walk any day of the week.

OT but I despise the word ‘mooch’. This thread is thus making me twitchy!

Is it a desire for alone/adult time?

I would love to pop into town to a nice bookshop and then find a coffee shop and have a nice sandwich and an iced coffee. But mostly because it would be a novelty and I do lots of walking! Perhaps you just need a break from the kids for a while.

(It is my birthday next week and my birthday present from DH is that I'm going out for a bookshop/coffee ALONE 😁)

Is it a desire for alone/adult time?

I would love to pop into town to a nice bookshop and then find a coffee shop and have a nice sandwich and an iced coffee. But mostly because it would be a novelty and I do lots of walking! Perhaps you just need a break from the kids for a while.

(It is my birthday next week and my birthday present from DH is that I'm going out for a bookshop/coffee ALONE 😁)

I do hear you loudly OP! My idea of fun is also having a mooch round the shops too! I just don’t enjoy play parks. I don’t mind going for a nice walk but it’s not something i get excited about. I used to hate when the kids were small and that’s all they wanted to do and any notion of a shop would send them crazy.

Horses for courses.

I loathe shopping and while I know that there are people who see browsing round as a leisure activity, I don't get it at all. It's torture to me. I mean, fine, an interesting antique/junk shop, bookshop or a row of genuine little craft shops or something, maybe, but normal shops or (shudder) a shipping mall, god why? But everyone's different.

Town parks are also pretty boring to walk round repeatedly if that's what he wants, to be fair. Country/city/coast walks have so much to look at and enjoy.

You need to find something you both enjoy.

A walk anyday. Good for you.
Shops for when you need things.
Otherwise it's my idea of hell, and hot and stuffy.
Food and drink too equals expensive.

I love a potter round a nice town centre. I hate 'shopping' when it's shopping for a purpose - eg if I have to go out and get some things I actually need - but I love just pottering around a few shops, looking at some interesting buildings or whatever and going to a cafe or a pub to sit with a drink/snack.

Fortunately, my DP travels a lot within the UK for various reasons, which means sometimes he'll say 'I need to go to [wherever] on Saturday - I can drop you in [pleasant nearby location] if you think you'd be happy to kill a couple of hours there on your own?' so I get to do this quite often. Sometimes it's a nice town/city centre, sometimes it might be the seaside or occasionally he'll drop me at something like a castle or a museum. But a little trip out for a potter round is one of my favourite things.

I hardly ever actually buy much at all in the shops when I do this. If there's an independent bookshop I'll always buy a couple of books and sometimes I might buy, eg, some stationery or a gift for someone or something like that. But I rarely buy clothes or household things.

It makes a difference what you are looking at. My last walk was along a tow path, - herons, swans and cygnets, a new foal, and a cloud of swifts doing aerobatics and screaming above us. It was lovely.

But I'm happy with a stroll round John Lewis too. I'm easily pleased.

@Meadowfinch

It makes a difference what you are looking at. My last walk was along a tow path, - herons, swans and cygnets, a new foal, and a cloud of swifts doing aerobatics and screaming above us. It was lovely.

Likewise, on a new canal walk the other day, came across a small group of alpacca's paddling in the side of the canal and drinking the canal water. Watched by some very curious cows in an adjoining field and further down, some ponies paddling!