I don’t like going for walks or to the park, I want to look around shops

[tohaverealisediam]

on Sunday I was feeling like the walls were falling in on me and just needed to get out. This is where my husband usually suggests a walk or taking the kids to the park- I find this so boring.

I realised that what I want to do, most it the time when I’m feeling like this- is just go and mooch around a couple of shops, get a coffee or lunch, maybe buy something new- nothing big necessarily, but maybe a little lamp or a new candle or something. This makes me happy. Going to the park, really doesn’t make me happy at all. It just doesn’t stimulate me whatsoever.

I am happy to take the kids to the playground of course, but parks or walks just bore me so much. My husband much prefers going for a walk. I don’t mind a walk so much if it’s in an amazing scenic location, in fact I do enjoy it. But I just don’t enjoy it when there’s not much to see.

I know that most mumsnetters love a walk etc and that’s great, but does it not just under stimulate you ?

it’s a bit of a struggle as obviously my husband and I have different preferences.

we ended up going out for a bit, going to a couple of shops, getting dinner out so I didn’t need to cook and clean up.

I am just so bored of staying in all weekend with two young kids and the only thing we do is maybe go for a walk, that’s all my husband wants to do as he finds going out stressful.

I like both, which is lucky. I do think children need to be in nature more than adults need the (lovely!) dopamine hit of wondering around shops though. This means I choose the park far more often now I have kids (and have fewer lovely candles).

You probably grew up with the idea of a walk needed a reward, a little gift. Shopping for a hobby is a bad habit but if it’s the little dopamine hit you need, we could suggest other things.

Bit old fashioned now, but what about downloading Pokémon go? You have to hunt little Pokémon on your phone, catch them etc. go visit poke stops to get stuff (it’s while since I played it!) you might find it gives you that little dopamine hit you need.

I'm an obsessive walker! I only got a dog because it felt a waste to not have a little walking companion. I can walk for hours, taking in my surroundings and listening to the breeze and bird song.

I also LOVE the gym though, and some people think only a psycho could love a gym environment.

If browsing shops makes you happy, go for it!

God I’m glad you said it. I’ve always felt it was very unwholesome of me, but I find walks so bloody boring. A walk round the town centre, a lovely high street or the charity shops… absolutely! We took the kids camping last week and went on a trail walk and the whole time I was just thinking god I wish this would just end!

I wonder if those who don't like walking don't feel the need to let their mind wander. Do they do it other ways perhaps?

Walking gives me time to think - or to not think depending on the circumstances.

I like being outdoors, but I really don't end going for a walk. I like being nature - the sounds, smells, colours, birds, but walking is just pfffff.

Kids hate shopping though unless it’s for them. I’m with your DH, I love a walk and play when the kids were small but now it’s me walking with the dog . It’s meditative for me, just the sound of my feet and breathing. Never fails to lift my mood. I love a shop too but I like charity shops or vintage stores.

Going to the park with kids is at best neutral, and at worst boring as fuck. I don't mind a shop mooch occasionally but I'd pick country walk over shopping 90% of the time. Esp if it can include a pub lunch. Like all things, variety helps.

My parents always want to ‘go for a nice walk’ - I’d rather boil my head.

I like walking, if I’m walking to somewhere. That’s why we bought a house on the outskirts of a town so we could walk in and grab lunch, mooch around the shops, or the library or the cinema, but to walk around a country park or a river or something is just so meh.

I don’t know if this’ll be helpful but will give it a go! So I do the same walks over and over again day, week, month, year in and out (due to my autistic DS mostly). It’s nice where we live but it’s still a suburb, you know? What I LOVE about it is that if you know an area well then you will. Price minutiae about it and can get really knowledgeable about eg what wildflowers grow and when you’d expect to see them, which trees turn first, when is the best time of day for birds. It might be the walk equivalent of Stockholm syndrome tbf but I find something to be fascinated by every day on our walks! (I also love dogs so getting to see/chat to a bunch of those is lovely for me).
not going to lie, though, sometimes I’d rather have a little pop to some nice shops!

I'd much rather go for a mooch around a few charity shops than go to the park or on a country walk. I like walking to places, not just ambling along on a 'walk'

But you can easily walk 'to' somewhere even on rural walks. I walk miles with the dog and often with dc3 (8 so well able to keep up a decent pace). But we don't just amble around aimlessly in a field!

We do a 6 mile coastal path walk - 3 miles from x beach to x beach, rest/picnic etc, then back. Or we walk from home to our local 50 acre Country Park, do one lap around the whole thing, then back home which is about 4 miles and takes an hour and a half.

I absolutely love walking in nature though, for both pleasure and fitness. I can't think of anything worse than trudging around shop after shop in my area.

This morning I walked through a forest with some friends. Nothing but ferns and trees as far as I could see. Nice and shady from the sun. Was about 1.5 hrs and a good chat with friends .Better than going for coffee and sitting on our backsides for 1.5 hrs.

I know that most mumsnetters love a walk etc and that’s great, but does it not just under stimulate you ?

This Mn does not love a walk. I was put off them as a child. Choice of two varieties:

1. The short walk.

The theory: a short walk, about an hour, maximum two, and so I must come because it would be a) good for me and b) nice to be with the family.

The reality: Four hours later, having not brought any food/drink/suncream etc we're wading through ankle-deep mud and someone asks how much further. "Ah," says df. "We were going so well, that I thought we'd go a little further." Enquiries develop and eventually he points at the hill in the distance and says we're aiming for the one beyond it. Rebellion ensues, and everyone sulks going home; df because his walk was cut short, everyone else because they're tired, hungry and wanted to be home 2 hours ago and we've got 3 hours to walk back to the car. We arrive home after dark with nothing to eat because dm had assumed we'd be back hours ago, and anything she has in will take an hour of preparation at least. By the time it's cooked no one, especially dm, feels like eating anything. I have a migraine from dehydration.

2. The Long walk.

The theory: Df and dm have planned a day for about an 6-8 hour walk, starting early so we'll be home in plenty of time before it gets dark. Dm has done a delicious picnic, and df has plotted the route and has his compass ready. I'm told to come because a) dm doesn't want to leave me all day on my own b) it'll be good for me c) it's nice to be with the family.

The reality: We leave about 2 hours after we planned because dm wanted to wait until the washing machine had finished and she'd hung out the washing. Then when that had happened, df had started washing the car. Just before we leave, a neighbour tells df that there's a tile off and he gets on the roof to fix it. It's about lunchtime before we leave.
The walk consists of
Df walking too fast for the rest of us and disappearing into the far distance
Df seeing a bird and sitting down while the rest of us either hang around (ssshh!) or walk off into the distance
Df thinking it's funny to hide to jump out at us and us thinking he's walked off into the distance.
We get lost
We take a "short cut" to make up for getting lost which turns out to be a long cut and either through a field of cows, a sinking-mud path where dsis may or may not lose her boot, giving us the only source of merriment on the walk, or a farm yard with aggressive dogs.
For the cows/dog, df goes through first, and they, as all animals do, adore him. he then continues, leaving us to be rescued by a grumpy farmer or scramble through a hawthorn hedge to escape.
Df meeting a friendly farmer and them having a very long conversation about sheep, what sort they are, what they taste like, and other useful information.
We stop for lunch about 2pm, all starving and badtempered. The lunchbox is very angular and uncomfortable and heavy to carry. Somehow even though it's rigid, the meal inside is squashed. We have to wipe out hands with a Dettol cloth which means everything smells of Dettol. The (homemade) fruitcake, one of two only edible things in the box has changed into a pile of crumbs and raisins. The only other edible thing in the box is some chocolate biscuits, which somehow 5/6 are given to dbro because "he's hungry". He's not hungry when offered the spare sandwich however. The squash, which was put in the freezer last night, hasn't defrosted so we all get one dribble of concentrate.
One of my superpowers is not eating anything from a pack lunch while sitting next to my family without them realising.
It starts drizzling.
Dm tells us how lucky we are having such caring parents that they pack nourishing pack lunches and take healthy walks unlike uncaring parents who go to cafes and let their children eat chips and white bread. I wish I was unlucky.
Dsis steps/sits in a cowpat, which might provide the second source of merriment except it stinks and we have to get in the car with her later.
It starts pouring, and df tells us we're all wimps when we suggest we might shelter under a tree. "Are you made of paper?"
My (second hand at least) boots are either rubbing or leaking. When I mention this I'm told I'm being moany. I think moany should be considered pretty positive considering our situation.
Several hours later, after dark we arrive back at where df was sure the car was left. only it isn't there. After half an hour or wandering up and down the road, half the party discover it. Df has now wandered off and is night-bird spotting, or maybe talking with a loan fisherman. Unfortunately he has the only car key.
When he eventually arrives back he says we're too dirty to get into the car so we have to scrape boots/coats/dsis before he'll open the car.
We arrive home to no one wanting to cook so the choice would be fish fingers, except dm left the ice box and fridge open when she got the squash out, so she throws away all the potentially riddled with salmonella food, and settles down to defrost the fridge in order to make sure it closes.
Df decides on a complicated meal from what he can find, and announces he'll need help. Dbro shuts himself in the bathroom for the next hour to make sure he can't possibly be expected to help. Dsis announces that she has urgent homework, so ends up being me having to help. I have a migraine threatening from dehydration.

During dinner, df announces that he has worked out where we went wrong and we should go next week on the proper walk which will be so much better.

Any takers?

You need to find a way to get a dopamine hit from being in the outdoors. There's loads to see if you look out for it. Why not start by seeing which trees or flowers you can identify uusing the various free apps and go from there.

I love a walk in the woods, I love the peace and quiet, the swishing of the wind in the trees, the birds singing. There's a place I go that has a big lake, woodland and wildflower meadows. I like watching the seasons changing and seeing the new flowers and hearing the crickets in Spring.

I have no interest in shopping - too noisy, too crowded and I'm not really interested in buying more stuff. I think most of us have too much stuff! As I've got older, I find I want less and less and I'd rather spend my free time having a catch up with a friend or going for a walk or seeing my adult children.

I'm the opposite - I love 'a walk' and that is what we do for fun most weekends 😁 my kids are well trained and also enjoy a walk, and my friends are the same. Walking with a flask is our primary social activity. I live in a national park btw.

We're in the Cotswolds on holiday at the moment, and it's lovely, but I'm struggling now with all of the shops. Today has been one charming market village after another, all very green and pleasant but omg - how many candles and sourdough boules can you look at before your eyes start to bleed?? DH loves a mooch round a shop so is in his element but I don't think I can take anymore! I'm hoping for a muddy feet walk tomorrow 😁

Agree with you.
The dog goes for walks and enjoys it - I as a human need a bit more stimulation, a nice coffee and maybe something to show for it at the end.

It sounds like you need to mix up where you go! The same old park would be boring.

YANBU. We all have preferences and I can relate to what you’ve posted. To be honest I used to get bored quickly going to most parks when I was a child, so that hasn’t changed much.
However, I used to like just going for a walk locally. There is a mix of woodlands walks, cliff paths, beaches etc. nearby. However, lockdowns put paid to my enjoyment of that.Throughout the lockdowns I was going for a walk daily (sometimes twice a day) and by summer 2021 was done with it. I’d prefer a mooch around the shops now compared to any of the walks locally.

One factor that definitely hasn’t helped was as @Screamingabdabz mentioned dog shit! There were quite a few places I would go for walks where it paid to keep your eyes down all the time in case you stepped in it. Some places became no go areas for me because there was too much of it about.

I have been for walks when I’ve stayed away and had decent scenery to take in more recently. which I’ve not minded. Doesn’t seem to be anywhere near as much dog shit either, so win win. I am hoping to relocate in the near future. The getting bored with walking in the local area during lockdowns was the start of me growing to be completely bored with the area/hating it.

I don't really like high street shopping but I prefer an antique or second hand reclaim yards. Thankfully there are lots of small towns nearby which have wonderful reclaimed furniture or bits n bobs. I came home with some brass hardware and a doorknocker on the last mooch around.

buy something new- nothing big necessarily, but maybe a little lamp or a new candle or something. This makes me happy. Going to the park, really doesn’t make me happy at all. It just doesn’t stimulate me whatsoever. Why do you need to buy things to feel happy, why do you need to feel stimulated in this way?

It's not unusual, shopping is a common thing to do, but feeling this way can be a sign something deeper could use some attention.

Preach! We are retired and everyday starts and ends walking the dogs. We live in a lovely place but dh prefers to go to the same place every day. If I suggest going somewhere it's "why, what do we need, well there's no point is there?" Or worse, "hang on, I'll come too". I was so excited because I have to go to our local city but he couldn't come. Now he can...Last time he totally pissed me off because he sighed. He huffed and he sighed. I just said, let's go. And he was, "oh but you go and look where you want" but you don't want to be here! And I don't want to walk round the museum gardens for the thousandth time. I now and again want to mooch around Fenwicks perfume department, go.to.the Big Primark. Without you fucking sighing!

This is my idea of hell, I’d as soon sit on the platform at the train Stratton writing the numbers of trains in a little notebook.

I like both. I need a bit of fresh air and exercise but it's a bit boring if that's the only thing I do. I don't need to buy anything in the shops - just having a browse is often enough.

I think I prefer the gift shop to the actual museum quite often.

I like a bit of both. We live in a Kent village so can have a nice walk out over the fields to the next village, have a pint and wander home again. We've also got a local country park so like to go there, select one of the trails to walk and have coffee and cake at the end.

As for shopping, I come from a family of moochers, especially at a market. I'm from the East End and used to love going to the street markets with my mum. Now my idea of heaven is a trawl around charity or vintage shops, or an antique market. Regular shopping centres are ok, but I prefer to shoot in to those, get what I need and then home. I'm lucky in that DH likes shopping so is happy to come with me if he wants to, but equally he loves a country walk.